fyre festival is going well

tbf i feel like this is all p true to the spirit of the book -- except the kids dragged to it are still alive i guess

“I was told I would get a 15-minute break every 45 minutes after each group went through.

“But I ended up playing Willy Wonka for three and a half hours straight. I didn’t know where I ended and Wonka began. I was losing my mind by that point.

“The organiser came up to me, saying, ‘You’re spending too much time with the kids, we need to get them through as quickly as possible’.

“By this point, I was visibly angry. I was like, now there’s going to be a lot of disappointed kids.”

The actor said he finally managed to get a lunch break, deciding to spend it sitting in his car staring at the floor trying to avoid the sight of crying children being turned away by security.

“When I came back, that’s when everything kicked off,” he explained. “There was an angry mob at the door not being let in. I had to wedge my way through.

“I was Wonka and it’s my face everywhere. But I am just a last-minute actor, really, I didn’t organise anything.

“People were shouting, people who put on the event were crying. There were arguments, people running around everywhere – the set had been trashed.”

He called another huddle of the two other Willy Wonkas and the nearest Oompa Loompas, adding: “We decided to just walk away.

“It was actually getting quite dangerous for us. But it was heartbreaking, to be honest.

“There were kids in costume better than ours, crying. I used to be a teacher and that was triggering for me.

“One thing I want to make clear is everyone has been so nice to the actors in person and on the day, the people who were there understand we did our best.

“We didn’t take any abuse but we gave abuse to the people running it. The whole thing was disrespectful to the families and us as promising actors.

“There were three Willy Wonkas but I was the most unlucky because I went first and stayed for three and a half hours doing it through either commitment or stupidity.”

lol, amazing. I imagine we're going to see a whole, whole lot more bullshit like this in the coming years. AI and con artists go together like peanut butter and jelly.

My job is teaching kids yoga

Is it churlish of me to wonder if he got hold of her through his anti-vaxx network?

I didn’t know where I ended and Wonka began.

Quote of 2024 so far

Just WTF at all of this

it is always bullshit like THIS that overconfident idea-people fuck up. they go out in public and see these small pop-up immersive exhibits like going to a live action Alice in Wonderland experience that they had here for a weekend last year, and figure man that isn't hard, get a bunch of talented actors, setmakers, and you and I can bang out a script, and hey you can get this up and going in two weeks!

also be amazed if creator doesn't get sued from an IP standpoint

He called another huddle of the two other Willy Wonkas and the nearest Oompa Loompas

As you do.

God this is the gift that keeps on

I don't know about anywhere else but this kind of thing is an almost annual occurrence in the UK. The AI aspect is what makes this one different, although surely this will be the norm in future.

Billy Coull is another major difference.

remember orwell: a hand slapping an elfy face forever

incredible quote

"In some ways, it was a world of imagination, like imagine that there is a whole chocolate factory here"

‘There is a man we don’t know his name. We know him as the Unknown. This Unknown is an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls.’

i would like to nominate this ai for all of the awards please, and i request it to also write my wedding vows, for when i marry it

i mean we already know who the evil chocolate maker is and we also know that the chocolate is evil

AI OTM

New details on the Willy Wonka Experience disaster

• Script was '15 pages of AI-generated gibberish'

• Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

• Event had no chocolate — kids were given a single jelly bean & a cup of lemonade pic.twitter.com/kxs1RcKVC8

— Culture Crave 🍿 (@CultureCrave) February 28, 2024

one!

i am willing to pay upwards of $3 to see that script performed in its entirety

E.L. James is working on it don't worry

One is plenty, once that “jelly bean” kicks in the world of imagination will open up right enough

incredible quote

"In some ways, it was a world of imagination, like imagine that there is a whole chocolate factory here"
― frogbs, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 19:20 (forty-seven minutes ago) link

This should be the epitaph to the 21st century

did The Unknown taunt the kids with the milk, milk, lemonade rhyme?

around the corner, death is made

I've seen that picture of the sad actress so much I've started seeing Dagmar Krause

never forget 2/28/24

https://static.independent.co.uk/2024/02/28/11/Wonka.jpg

One is plenty, once that “jelly bean” kicks in the world of imagination will open up right enough

― cozen itt (wins), Wednesday, February 28, 2024 3:12 PM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

"So, which do you choose? The red jelly bean or the blue jelly bean?"

"But there's only one. And it's yellow."

"Which do you choose?"

oompa loompa doompa dee fen
how do you like my opium den

I've seen that picture of the sad actress so much I've started seeing Dagmar Krause

irl lol

the event organised by House of Illuminati

the o.g. UK Fyre Festival was the Summerland disaster in the 70's. It was a leisure complex on the Isle of Man that didn't have fire exits and had an extremely flammable acrylic roof - cue some truanting school kids discarding a lit match near a kiosk that caught fire and the rest is inevitable.

Folks, folks, somehow it all next leveled. This screencap was posted a half an hour back apparently trying to lay some blame on a guy named, in essence, Dick Bone.

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:kqdyhnklmmv34nmml6btyqv6/bafkreia5gvj22ocjhd5w4co4rdjuije2kkrlnkvhvwxewzxewxxgxjsaba@jpeg

popcorn.gif

"The form he is using is designed to mislead you"

oh i get it, it's an episode of Sapphire and Steel

I have been made aware of a Richard Bone

The house of illuminati is NOT in any way connected to dick bone who is NOT in any way connected to the hip bone

BTW, House of Illuminati's FB header image is a treat.

Feel like this is part of an age-old UK tradition of shoddy unauthorised copyright infringement (mainly Disney) at funfairs, amusement arcades, circuses etc

"The form he is using is designed to mislead you"

And the queens we use will not excite you.

Yeah I was gonna say isn’t shoddy little events for children something you famously have a lot of

The form he is using is designed to mislead you

So is Richard Bone...the Unknown?

I am starting to feel like Chaz Palminteri at the end of The Usual Suspects

i used to be in a barbershop quartet in Loompaland

I keep hearing this in the voice of Brecky from SNL
https://willyschocolateexperience.com/index_files/twilighttunnel.png

thanking u

“Please direct all inquiries to our head of operations, Harry Sacke.”

I've seen that picture of the sad actress so much I've started seeing Dagmar Krause

show me the way to the next wonka bar! no don't ask why, no don't ask why....

looool

also jfc at that Summerland link, calz giving me nightmares

so many horrifying quotes I couldn't decide which to pull, prob for the best