The Worst Pizza Ever

wait...new thread idea!

That is more disgusting than bootyflakes. And that is something I did not imagine possible.

You forgot the tortilla chips crumbled on top.

That is more disgusting than bootyflakes.

EW BOOTYFLAKE PIZZA

Real pizza - is made only with special, mostly Italian, ingredients: a specific type of flour, tomatoes and mozzarella. You don't put pepperoni on it, let alone salmon or pineapple.

My dad once bought a deep fat fried pizza in the Isle of Wight. Eww!

http://www.chachich.com/mdchachi/images/ikasumi.jpg

Of course, no intro to Japanese pizza would be complete without mention of the Squid Ink Pizza. In these pizzas (and pastas) the tomato sauce is replaced with a black-as-sin squid ink sauce. To be honest, squid ink sauce doesn't taste all that bad but tomato sauce is ten times better. Plus squid ink looks terrible & stains your mouth black, so I have never found a reason to eat more than a spoonful of the stuff.

http://www.chachich.com/mdchachi/images/ikasumi.jpg

or superfly

I find ONIONS on pizza to be a bad thing. They are always soggy and stringy and make my mouth wince. Am more convinced than ever that the way forward is GARLIC more GARLIC oregano and cheese and tomato backing. And black pepper. Oh god I want pizza. Perhaps the broccoli and sossidge one. Sossidge always good on pizza.

*shrooms = y'know they grow under cow shit don'tcha? that's right

I still ate it.

that's hilariously coincidental. yesterday i bought a slice of veggie pizza for lunch, and deciding it wasn't extreme pizza! i for some reason chose to push sweet chili'n'sour cream chips into the cheese. i ended up cutting the roof of my mouth open.

http://www.erdoboy.com/images/seafoodspec.jpg
Squid, shrimp, tuna, broccoli, onion, mayonnaise, double cheese.

WTF?!?!

I'm not even entirely picky when it comes to pizzas, though I've had some utter and complete horrid disasters here locally. It really depends on what part of town you are. If you're in the North side, then pretty much any pizza place you find will be good. If you're in the East side, then half of the pizza places will be good and the rest will be horrible. If you're in the West or South sides, however, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT try a single pizza place. Over there, pizzas resemble oil tanker disasters more than they do actual pizzas, and even when I take my "dairy digestive aid" pills I still end up spending half the night in the bathroom regretting every single bite I took of the pizza. I've had to learn this the hard way.

WTF?!?!

Actually, if it didn't have the mayonnaise, I'd try it. Still, I believe that the further you get away from classic Neapolitan pizza -- thin crust, tomato sauce, cheese, basil, and maybe prosciutto -- the greater a disaster it's likely to be. And for the love of god what is so great about dried-out pineapple that people here are willing to defend Hawaiian pizza?

I thought it had corn on it too? I also like the South Bound (there's another pizza there with "Phish" in the name - ah marketing); I even once served it at a party. But Pintaile's super-thin pizzas are a bit precious - if not right out of the even, a slice can seem like it's not quite there.

i for one.

EW BOOTYFLAKE PIZZA

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, July 9, 2003 12:58 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I once asked for extra mushrooms, but the vendor misheard me and put some mussels on instead. Now, two things are weird about that. First, I ordered in Danish, and there's no way to mishear mushrooms as mussels in Danish. And secondly, there was no mussels on the menu. Not on any pizza, not on anything else, to this day I have no clue where those mussels came from. And it tasted horribly.

pretty sure that was jizz, sorry

mussels are a valid topping on a frutti di mare pizza

I agree. I don't really like it, but I've had it before, and it makes sense. As a weird topping where it doesn't fit in (probably prosciutto and gorgonzola), it's awful.

You all know what's surprisingly good with prosciutto and gorgonzola? Onions. I've always thought onions on pizza was wrong, but they can fit in really well.

🤦🏼‍♂️

Oh boy, caramelise some onions, bake on pizza with rosemary leaves, sea salt and good pecorino or parmigiano reggiano YOU WILL THANK ME.

Place in Prague I used to go to had a four cheeses pizza, and one of the cheeses was a full tub of ricotta dumped in the middle of the pizza, which seeped through and turned the base into an inedible doughy soggy mess. That wasn't great. Also everything sold at Pizza Hut in China.

pineapples on pizza are the devil's invention

agreed but lock thread