ROAD TRIP (now with 50% more hilarity)

I JUST DROVE FROM BOSTON TO KANSAS CITY. I PUT ALL MY WORLDLY POSSESIONS IN A DODGE OMNI. IT WAS HAR DTO DO

I put all my bedroom furniture in an oldsmobile and made someone with a suspended licence drive it across the street for me. And now I'm going to have a dancer/bartender help me put it together. What do you think of that, Mr. Hanley?

TART