Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

One of our senior partners asked me to scan some pictures for his daughter this morning, first thing - they were from medical books, examples of colostomys, I still feel ill.....

Not so much technically a coworker, but our auditors. There's this one who is the biggest prick bastard on the planet. He actually came and TOLD ME OFF because the company didn't order enough of the type of soda he enjoys - keep in mind A) this is not a supermarket B) this is not his actual workplace. Very nasty like too, I ended up telling him "YO, WALK YOUR ASS TO THE FUCKING FOOD EMPORIUM AND BUY YOURSELF SOME COKE".

I had to do the "no, I'm not snorting with laughter, I'm coughing" thing

And hey up, here comes smug, minging, briefcase-carrying 22-year-old rugby player that likes to touch my shoulder.

Ten more working days until I leave multinational corporate hell.

The motherfucker dumped out the fucking milk to prove a point.

* This person also imitates everyone's voices all day, chews tobacco at his desk, and looks at hardcore porn, openly, at his cubicle.

I was fishing also, with you and Chris V...I flew over just to fish....

Meanwhile, I am on top of the office statscock in production. Porn guy is taking his revenge on me by rearranging his work area so that he can see my terminal at all times. He seems baffled, though, that someone would check a BB or news site instead of porn or sports.

I really like my fellow teachers. We keep each other sane. Our principal however is a cockfarmer of the highest order. He cracks us up.

This whole thread makes me like my job again. Its hilarious. Especially MsLara's story about the cow-orker sticking floppies to the filing cabinet with magnets - classick! I used to love reading the tech horror stories at www.rinkworks.com - stuff very much like this.

"I'm telling you, if the terrorists really want to succeed, they'll just send in 20 year old girls with bombs strapped to their asses."

In other words: "Take my thong off and my ass go BOOM"

I wish I had some good coworker stories, but the only problem I have is the one who sings along to the radio all the time and jokes about hanging a big "GO AWAY" sign on the Statue of Liberty.

Not as much as e-mails to the entire company, saying something like "I lost my favorite pen in the 5th floor conference room; if you see it be sure to bring it back to my desk." One thing I'm not going to welcome if I ever get a regular job again.

Oh, this reminds me of when I worked for that obstetricians and gynecologists association. This was before 9/11, but the organization was targeted by a number of anti-abortion groups, so you had to show a badge or be vouched for by a staffer to get in the building.

Unless you're Santa Claus. One day in October a man in a Santa suit got past the guards without showing a badge or being accompanied. Given some of the security types I've met, it's entirely possible they still believed in Santa, and were afraid that he wouldn't bring them anything in December.

I don't like going over people's heads and playing boss unless they're bullying me, which he's not. Furthermore, he seems to have very low self-esteem and doesn't try very hard to boost his job skills - either that or he just doesn't know how - so he would have a difficult time finding another job, I think. He's just one of those people who hasn't adapted well to office culture and doesn't seem to get it. He's hurting himself more than anyone. I did privately speak to a male co-worker who is sort of friendly with this man, intimating that if x would listen to anyone, it would be another man.

I'd just rather have my own cubicle that is more than six feet away from him because I am toooo aware of his problems. I feel a little better about it lately because I have a new boss who seems to be a little more sensitive to my situation.

Secondly, he would never get into trouble for s.h. because it's a verrrry liberal environment and no one does anything like that. The only time someone got fir@d was when this woman, who was a hypochondriac and habitual liar, said that she lost relatives in 9/11 and needed to take some time off to grieve, which was just about the last straw.

Finally, I walked in on the dept. head looking at soft-core porn, so no one is going to point the finger at someone else. Since we partly deal in "erotica", I'm sure he could just say he was doing important research for the collection.

(sorry)

Now somehow it is my responsibility to fix this? I guess since I am the bathroom monitor. BETTER BUST OUT MY PIGGY BANK!