Yesterday's EastEnders

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He's the hefty hero of all East End furries everywhere.

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Mind you, not every rubbish baddie gets to belt Ian in the face and bogflush him.

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Johnny Allan needs to do less "emoting" and more "cheifing"/"housing"/"sonning".

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, but he should put himself up to a real fight, then he wouldn't be such a rubbish baddie. I mean, *I* could flush Ian's head down the loo and I'm a girl.

(xpost)

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

But could you make him whimper?

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Ian took Phil down though.

Why are the Moon brothers being written out already? They're much better than the Mitchells.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 19:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Dawn's ex-boyfriend is going to be re-written in soon after he's written out, though. No, I don't get the point either.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 19:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Phil one-punched two policeman, Ailsa. I don't know any girls who can do that.

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 19:32 (nineteen years ago) link

Ha I just *knew* Ian was going to fuck phil over there.

Ian best wimpering idiot ever tho.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 21:21 (nineteen years ago) link

who is phil?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 19 April 2005 21:43 (nineteen years ago) link

phil mitchell, been locked up for some months now. billy mitchells brother.

big fat hard man

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 07:17 (nineteen years ago) link

he's the one with a beetroot for a head

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 07:19 (nineteen years ago) link

oh, I thought phil was well out of it.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 07:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Classic 'enders.

Phil (pointing to toilet): "Remember that?"
Ian: "No Phil! NOT THE TOILET OF DEATH!!!11!!1"

Copper: "You're soaking wet sir."
Ian: "Well I'm just out the bath (WITH ALL MY CLOTHES ON!)."

I liked the coppers surrounding Phil then deciding to take him on one at a time a la every Bruce Lee film ever. Two sore faces later they decide mob-handed might be a better strategy.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 07:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Question, is Den's body in the Cellar of the Vic? And do you think Phil discovered it when he (apparently) hid down there?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 08:05 (nineteen years ago) link

And is Phil still doing that infernal sighing after every sentence?

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 08:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Well, in yesterday's episode he didn't once utter his catchphrase, viz. "I've changed."

As we never saw the ladies physically disposing of/burying Den's body, one assumes that the door is open for him to crawl back in another 14 years' time.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 08:11 (nineteen years ago) link

So what happened with Phil and Ian? Ack, I'm starting to take an interest again...

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Phil ran into every house on the square in an attempt to hide, then ended up at Ian's where he socked his ex-son-in-law on the nose, then flushed him down the bog. Then he got sentimental over a picture of his Ben on the fridge. Ian convinced him to go hide in the arches while he ~~got some cash~~ dobbed him in. Phil runs round the square, in Pauline's front door, out her back door (or vice versa?), bangs on the door of the Vic, punches a couple of coppers and gets nicked.

What I don't know, yet, is if he came back for two episodes or if we're going to have to go through six weeks of courtroom tedium now.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:25 (nineteen years ago) link

What was Phil hiding from and why?

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:28 (nineteen years ago) link

(xpost)

Perhaps he could appear in that ghastly-sounding People's Court thing that's just started on daytime ITV.

(nb: Phil did not literally flush Ian down the bog - we were denied that pleasing spectacle)

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:29 (nineteen years ago) link

What was Phil hiding from and why?

The Ol' Bill. He's still to be tried after Dirty Den stitched him up in a robbery.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:32 (nineteen years ago) link

does anyone else think that pauline has had some dodgy plastic surgery? not recently, but at some point? this is a big topic of discussion in my house.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, Billy is in trouble for denying he's seen Phil, then bursting into a room full of coppers with a wad of cash intended for his cuz. Phil's DNA/fingerprints will be on a vodka glass in the front room (he is off the wagon again).

(x-post) You never see Pauline with hair tucked behind her ears any more - is she hiding the join?

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Wendy Richards lives near Ed's dad and appears to be suffering from cancer and bad wigs.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:37 (nineteen years ago) link

now i feel bad!

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:42 (nineteen years ago) link

still, i do think she's had a bad lift.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:43 (nineteen years ago) link

What would happen if wendy richards pickup up one of moira stewarts wigs in the morning instead of one of her own?

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:44 (nineteen years ago) link

she'd end up in a tryst with Pat, you sick, sick man

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Ewwww! Bad Stevem!

Ed, it's P@m $t Cl3m3ns who is *supposed to be* the muff diva with the newsreader girlfriend (and is a posh old luvvy to boot). Furthermore, she doesn't even live in Marylebone.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:49 (nineteen years ago) link

i love watching inteviews with pam. i was shocked the first time i saw her out of character - she has such an amazing, stately presence.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:52 (nineteen years ago) link

What, like the Trellick Tower?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:53 (nineteen years ago) link

no.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:55 (nineteen years ago) link

A threesome with Pauline, Pat and Dot - I think that would act as a major criminal deterrent.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:56 (nineteen years ago) link

Television suddenly becomes a major prison torture device.

― Plus-Tech Whiz Kid (Disco) (Barima), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 09:59 (nineteen years ago) link

suddenly becomes?

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 10:02 (nineteen years ago) link

That's not a wig. She's definitely had a lift, she looks 'wide awake'.

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 10:04 (nineteen years ago) link

For a horrible minute, i thought Billy was going to get it on with Pat last night. I was like, 'Noooooooo, get up those stairs quickly you old slapper!'

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 11:33 (nineteen years ago) link

It was so obvious something major was going to happen to Billy, especially after he won all that money on the fruit machine. so corny.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 11:38 (nineteen years ago) link

six months pass...

'ello Mum

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 24 October 2005 18:32 (eighteen years ago) link

It's Grant Force! He's back!

Jesus though, Enders is unwatchable these days, and this thread reminds me that it has been that way for at least a year. Why can't I give up watching it, why?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 24 October 2005 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

grasping at straws. what makes them think anyone wants the mitchell brothers back? they never wanted Den or sharon or anyone else they are so convinced are viewer draws.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 24 October 2005 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Never mind, you'll be getting some Sonia Jackson/Fowler lezzing-up action soon. Erm...

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 24 October 2005 20:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/coolstuff/download/wallpaper/wallpaper_content/800/billym.jpg

The Don.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 24 October 2005 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I’d fight him for a tenner.

― Kodanshi, Monday, 24 October 2005 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Never mind, you'll be getting some Sonia Jackson/Fowler lezzing-up action soon. Erm...

come again?

crap how they started with jonny allen being OMG THE BIGGEST MOST RESPECTABLE CRIME LORD IN THE WORLD OMG, and now he's just going to turn into yet another play thing for the script writers to abuse for the mitchell brothers (who are basically just two bouncers).

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Johnny Allen + Moon Brothers >>>>>>>>> Mitchells. Except Billy.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:23 (eighteen years ago) link

All Ruby seems to do is flounce. About three times per episode Johnny says something along the lines of "Ruby - you've got to believe me!" and she turns with hair-whipping speed and marches away.

And Peggy "I'm a MITCHELL" Mitchell will hopefully stop spouting that line now her boys are back.

As for "He/She's not worth it" uttered by Billy umpteen times a night - God! Get a new line!

― Rumpie, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I like the Mitchells being back, whether it's straw grasping or not. 10 seconds of Grant's trademark hard stare is better than 6 months of Johnny "I was shite in the Bill as well" Allen (who was also shite in a Minder repeat the other night).

I await with pleasure Phil's unintelligible explanation of how he isn't banged up.

Is Grant the undisclosed 3rd party who is buying The Vic? Will he get back with Sharon? Who will be killed during the Proper Family Christmas?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Has Sharon slept with Phil again yet? When does Vicky return to the Square to sleep with Grant?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:48 (eighteen years ago) link

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