Star Wars 8 shit talk

http://youtu.be/GQQMLE4FuIQ

― painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Monday, February 15, 2016 6:27 AM (5 hours ago)

is it time to start the " " " " 8 shit talk thread

― Sith Dog (El Tomboto), Monday, February 15, 2016 6:33 AM (5 hours ago)

Benicio Del Toro, Laura Dern and Kelly Marie Tran now onboard for XIII

― Darin, Monday, February 15, 2016 12:13 PM (1 minute ago)

First! Err...second. Laura Dern?!? And Del Toro, too? Weird casting. Let's see...

I'm sure I said this somewhere else but IMO the Rian Johnson film to watch to get an idea of how he's going to handle an ensemble is The Brothers Bloom.

https://49.media.tumblr.com/19a4d753e7a25420926090048e9de4ea/tumblr_o2lhsnjwk11v3nwxso2_r2_540.gif
https://49.media.tumblr.com/258af8707e9050c1ebc0ea1021438edb/tumblr_o2lhsnjwk11v3nwxso4_r4_540.gif

The lighting on this looks bad?

"production announcement" is a teaser-for-a-trailer too far wtf

I like The Brothers Bloom!

The Brothers Bloom? Oh no.

I'd imagine it was impossible to get much more than the very basics for shooting on to skellig so those shots are gonna look different, presumably they can fix whatever after the fact

I don't think either Brothers Bloom or Looper was a masterpiece, but they both had lots to like. And the Breaking Bad episode Rian Johnson directed where Walt and Jesse try to catch the fly in the lab was one of the best in the whole series. He's definitely a more interesting director visually than Abrams.

Interesting that Johnson is also writing the screenplay, though obviously it will a committee job, even if it's only his name in the credits. All of his previous works that I've seen have been about relations between men and masculinity (surrogate father/surrogate son, big brother/little brother, etc), so we'll see how he manages a movie with a female protagonist. I do hope Episode 8 will develop the Leia/Rey relationship also; there are so many works of fiction about a plucky younger woman being taught by a older mentor man, and I guess that's where the next movie is heading also based on Ep. 7's ending, but I'd like to see more than that.

extrapolating from films to Star Wars seems weird

(not entirely being snarky -- what does Eye of the Needle or The Luck of Ginger Coffey have to do with ROTJ or ESB?)

I wouldn't have extrapolated as much if I hadn't learned Johnson has also written the script. Even if he almost definitely did it based on a pre-existing plot outline, it still means he has more control over the story and the characters than the directors of ROTJ and ESB had.

It sounds very much like episode 8 was bafflingly meant to shift focus away from Rey until fan reaction spurred a relatively recent spate of rewrites.

Interesting... Where'd you get that info?

I thought it was reasonably common knowledge?

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Star-Wars-Episode-8-May-Undergoing-Rewrite-106667.html

From that information I wouldn't say it read as "shifting focus away from Rey" as much as our main characters having to share more screen time with others. But Rey (and Finn) worked better than anything else in Ep 7 so they now go all in on them (if that rumor is correct).

I guess less "shifting focus away" and more shifting focus towards new characters. New characters are fine and essential but they have a nice core cast to work from so it would be a shame if they lost focus on that.

Sure, but it's odd to assume that more time for new characters was shifting focus away from Rey specifically?

"production announcement" is a teaser-for-a-trailer too far wtf

― qualx, Monday, February 15, 2016 6:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Meh, production companies have been taking out full-page ads in Variety for decades announcing the beginning/end of principal photography on whatever project, it's the internet age, etc.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cbl_t4bUAAAc0ue.jpg:large

those clips above, aren't they from the end of VII or new shots?

gary!!! xp

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZ1bccLUsAEuDBJ.jpg

Apparently those new shots were grabbed late last year by Rian Johnson on a return to the island. So it looks at if VIII will pick up immediately where TFA left off, which will be a first for the franchise.

new hammill footage:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VFevH5vP32s

AHHH the Force!

So apparently Episode VIII is partly about Draculas driving Ferraris or . . . ?

http://io9.gizmodo.com/see-the-first-photos-of-brand-new-aliens-and-ships-in-s-1764781664

I don't know what that mouth of sauron guy is about, looks ridiculous
BTW I'm going to be a little annoyed if we go this whole trilogy without any twi'leks, togrutas or more than one wookiee.

Who would win in a fight, Draculas or Jedis?

You'd be surprised how much of that type of thing gets covered in the Clone Wars cartoon

I'd vote Draculas, because they can turn into bats, control wolves, and can't be killed by anything but sunlight and a stake through the heart. Hmm, would a lightsaber killer a Dracula through the heart? Would a Jedi even know how to do that, seeing as they exist outside of any Judeo-Christian religious stuff? I guess they could read a Dracula's mind, but I bet Draculas are pretty good at clouding their intentions.

Jedis are remarkably good at figuring out how to kill new and exotic things, so they'd figure it out, and I'm willing to bet a lightsaber would not only kill a vampire, but also do whatever else fire does to vampires.

Jedi can use the force, which flows in all living things.

_LIVING_ things.

Dracula is master of the undead. Force-choking (or any force attacks) would not work on Dracula nor most of the denizens of his castle. The life force is essential to a Jedi so in the realm of undead things The Force would perhaps have no effect. Important to remember that vampires, skeletons, and other undead are not truly alive but only given that appearance (animated if you will) by dark powers.

lightsaber vs vampire just makes me think of buffy pulling out the rocket launcher ("that was then; this is now")

What if Dracula was fighting a Force Ghost?

wait, does force-choking work because the person being choked is a living thing? i always figured it was just straight up telekinesis. i mean, the rocks and crates and things they throw around aren't living.

anyway, the dark animating powers might also be a kind of living things. like we perceive them as dead/undead but cosmically, force-wise, this may be a kind of life.

yeah i guess lightsabers aren't living things either and they can move them at will. so they probably just have regular telekinesis. still i don't think a Jedi could force choke someone, like it is impossible to do if they have followed the training.

then again Dracula probably doesn't need to breathe, hence the tendency to sleep in a closed coffin.

yeah agreed with all that. basically though dracula has a huge disadvantage in terms of ranged attacks. jedis are definitely capable of hurling rocks or random machinery at you; usually they're fighting people who can mount at least some kind of counterattack at a distance (blasters). at best dracula has defensive moves like turning into mist.

he can turn to mist he can also turn into a bat or rat and flee or evade the incoming hurtling rocks. Jedi outmatch him in offensive capabilities so maybe a single one-on-one fight is tilted in their favor.

however, Jedi appear quite susceptible to Force Clouding (them missing all warning signs throughout the entirety of the prequels) and one of Dracula's main techniques is mind control, so it's probably in Dracula's best interest to use that and plan a sneak attack.

yeah tbf dracula is also definitely a long-term plotter, in the original book. lot of ground work being laid for what will ultimately be tension-free and repetitive pseudo-scenes. he has a lot in common with palpatine really. (obviously not dealing here with the obvious dooku/dracula business.) i still think if it comes down to a one-on-one battle a semi-competent jedi could basically take dracula. the jedis only lost in the prequels because they were shittily written garbage yoda couldn't take palpatine in single combat, and i can't see dracula winning the same fight.

my sources are telling me that this guy will make a prominent return in VIII

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/b/b6/ArleilSchous.jpg

I don't know, can't Dracula communicate from a distance? Via dreams and stuff? Plus, he can clearly bend people to his will, a la a Jedi. Plus, a Dracula could turn a Jedi into another Dracula, and then you'd have a Jedi Dracula, who would be pretty much unstoppable. Wait, does a Dracula needs to subsist on human blood, or any blood? Sometimes Draculas eat rats and animal blood. The people in Star Wars are just nominally human, but they're really humanoid. We don't know if they're even compatible with a Dracula. But if they were, we might end up with another "Lifeforce."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de3VsgXZRGw

Er, nsfw.

what the shit is going on here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfsbGR1Foo

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Anzat_(species)

Once a victim was within their power, the Anzati would uncoil their thin proboscises from their cheek pouches located on either side of its nose and usually inserted them into the subject's nostrils and into the cranium, where the brain was sucked out of the organism(2), though the Anzati fed by drawing soup out of wherever it resided in a victim, as it varied by species. In most humanoid races, it lay within the brain cavity. Almost of their own, the proboscises sought the victim's soup, and began draining it into the Anzat. The victim could struggle, though often the Anzat's attack was so sudden, so perfect, that it was too late(7) This action, however, required time and could not be rushed. This behavior led to the nickname of "snot vampires."(1)

http://mydisguises.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/vampire-princess-leia.jpg

woah

I missed that party.

Prince Harry apparently got to sit in the new A-Wing model the other day. So that means we get A-Wings in this one.

A-Holes

You're thinking Guardians of the Galaxy

I meant Prince Harry, actually

i've never wished harder that a-wings could actually be fired into space

http://i.imgur.com/4nxYhnw.jpg

concept art

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_scale,h_405,w_540/t_mp_quality/gpiiopjxyenjy0tybv52/5-majors-signs-star-wars-new-hero-poe-dameron-is-gay-877844.jpg

Oh good they're changing Rey's hair

http://io9.gizmodo.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-with-reys-hair-in-episode-vii-1783201707

http://io9.gizmodo.com/princess-leia-was-going-to-play-a-large-role-in-star-wa-1790796565

why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand.

CGI Peter Cushing in a wig, plz.

she falls into a rejuvenation pit and Billie Lourd plays the role

"why don't they just re-cast the role? I dunno I think the fans would understand."

uh, no, that would be a terrible idea. they're going to have to kill her off between 8 and 9. I don't see any other option.

I guess the easiest option would be to have Leia die in Ep. VIII, then bring her back in Ep. IX for a couple of crucial scenes as a Force ghost? That'd make the CGI feel less jarring, and there's already a presedence with Obi-Wan.

obviously the already-dead jedi devised some sort of force-based safety net to catch non-jedi after death, so they can bring han solo back as a ghost

A la Nancy Marchand's posthumous scenes in The Sopranos, they should have characters awkwardly responding to repurposed Leia footage from previous movies.

do they finally blow up the death star in this one

Yes but it's filled with tiny Death Stars.

Obligatory jeez where's my spoiler warning joke

I'm Snoke

Reports are that as of the next trilogy the series will be retitled Death Star Wars and will document a future world where sentient Death Stars of various sizes and alignments have supplanted all life in the galaxy and now spend their days evaporating one another.

(And I remembered halfway through typing out that utterly ridiculous scenario that, thanks to the EU, we know that the original Death Star HAD technically achieved sentience just before it was destroyed. Dear, dear lord.)

Your scenario sounds like Phantasm 6.

xp i don't recall the original death star achieving sentience but i do recall that bounty hunter droid mind-melding (apologies for geek terminology crossover) with the second death star moments before it was destroyed. and i resent my brain for maintaining that piece of information while discarding so much more useful stuff.

Oh sorry, you're right, it was the second Death Star. But, yeah, IG-88 uploading himself was what I was referring to and why I said 'technically'. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my affliction.

can't they just use a different actress?

apparently not given the attitude upthread and in the nerdverse in general

Kinda feel like the attitudes noted here re: recasting Leia are not reflective of the nerdverse writ large.

wtf they cannot 'recast' leia. carrie fisher isn't david prowse or something.

Lily Tomlin is...Leia

they're bringing in the second mom from Fresh Prince to play her

maybe we can just overhear her from offscreen and only see shadows or she will conveniently be on the can every time she's in a scene

always holding something over her face

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i_wsoEXkmeI/Uz_LPr-9n2I/AAAAAAAAA9A/cpKkJGFhwzE/s1600/boguslugosi.png

Someone find that Leia = Snoke thread on the jedi boards and report back please

We have a title: http://www.starwars.com/news/the-official-title-for-star-wars-episode-viii-revealed

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C23gmNXUAAEuQhC.jpg

oh shiiiiiit

So either Luke will die in this, so that Rey will become the eponymous character, or it'll have lots of flashbacks to the years when Luke literally was the last Jedi?

weird name to title the next version of the Death Star but hey, 6th time's a charm

so who is... the last jedi

*thinking emoji*

the death star was the last jedi, it had a consciousness
sad

we are ALL the last jedi

makes u think

I heard ur mom is the last jedi

What if Kylo Ren is the last Jedi, what about that, huh?

What's the plural for Jedi? Couldn't this just as easily mean "the last (two) Jedi"?

thinking it's about the transition from Luke to Rey -- so yeah, maybe Luke dies in this.

but also Star Wars: The Last Jedi Until the Next Franchise reboot about Rey's Kids and also the Ewoks she trained in Episode 9

The plural of "Jedi" is "Jedii"

xp
Kylo is Sith

you're sith

or maybe not, but would Jedi recognize him as one of them? I say no!

leia is the last jedi, which means they've painted themselves into a really awkward corner

kylo ren is neither sith nor jedi

nor is he a nightsister of dathomir, unless he is

The Lost Jedi might've been better. Applies to Luke who had been lost, applies to Kylo who they lost to the dark side, possibly applies to Rey who was lost/abandoned although I suspect she is a new thing (Darth Vader comic and maybe other SW media allude to that concept if not about Rey herself).

Are they just gonna do the Obi Wan Darth Vader scene with Luke and Kylo Ren? Probably

Maybe it means "The Most Recent Jedi", i.e. Luke

Technical term there is lastest.

xxp maybe they'll run each other through like Arthur and Mordred at the end of Excalibur.

"no i meant you're an old friend, not that you're OLD, oh ffs"

The Latest Jedi, (co-starring the latest Death Star)

Still wondering how they'll handle the opening shot after it was suggested they would start with the same scene The Force Awakens ended on. Would've thought the best (consistent) way to handle this would be for the text crawl to fade and then pan down to a view of the planet Luke is on with the Falcon wooshing past towards it. Ideally you wouldn't 'recap' in this way either but the films have never opened on the Falcon in space so that would be nice in itself. "Previously on Star Wars" voiceover optional.

The Last Gasp

ppl on the internets are saying Rey is not a trained Jedi, and that Luke was identified as "the last Jedi" in the crawl of VII.

damn, you people aren't even good at this

also, suggestions of
"Last Jedi in Paris"
"Last Jedi on the Left"

but if Luke trains her!

PROOF

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ongcPNTY_Kk/maxresdefault.jpg

we all just got sonned by Morbs in an SW thread, I need to go think about things

The Jedi Vanishes

also, suggestions of
"Last Jedi in Paris"
"Last Jedi on the Left"

Last Jedi in Brooklyn

To Live Jedi In L.A.

under president trump all the old certainties will be washed away

the skies will turn red, the seas will boil, and dr morbius will stan for judd apatow

I don't think we're contradicting that

The Force Awakens: In flashback, Luke has students. None of them make it to jedi level, they all die or disappear off the storyboard, he's back to being the last. Rey seems like she has potential as a new jedi apprentice, film ends with her handing a lightsaber to her potential teacher

The Last Jedi: We already know Luke is the last. What does this title tell us about this movie and not the status quo?

I mean, Return of the Jedi set out the blueprint at the beginning: Yoda tells Luke that only after confronting his father, a jedi... I mean, he will be a jedi. He does that in the climax, then the movie ends

well he did write for Larry Sanders xp

Man, that crawl-text is so bad.

well I hope he's not the last Jedi. That would be sad.

actually, my real shit talk in this thread is to try to find out what George Lucas' ideas for 7-9 actually were. I watched a an '83 Carrie Fisher interview right after she died, and she was talking about not only was Lucas already thinking prequels, but ideas for 7-9, which incldued Han, Leia and their kids looking for a new planet to live on. So I'm thinking there is probably a mostly-fledged Lucas story out there somewhere.

it's supposed to be like late '30s kiddie-serial text, you chump. xp

well he did write for Larry Sanders

http://elspethcooper.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/placard1.jpg

actually, my real shit talk in this thread is to try to find out what George Lucas' ideas for 7-9 actually were

iirc lucas handed over some ideas to disney after they acquired lucasfilm and kathleen kennedy was like 'lol no'

x-posts: Yeah. And it does it badly. The texts in the original trilogy is so well-written, both of course nonsensical but also really clear about what happened last week. This is just confusing, leaves so many questions to be asked, and the film doesn't really deal all that much with Luke Skywalker anyway...

He's the plot engine for most of the film!

He really isn't.

I don't think anyone questioned the fact that Luke is, in episode 7 and at the beginning of episode 8, the last Jedi. That much is obvious. But what I was speculating was what the title tells us about the movie if, like the titles of the previous ones, it describes the plot in some way? So that's why I was wondering whether it tells us what it was like for Luke to be the last Jedi until Rey came along, or whether it'll end with his death, leaving Rey to be the last Jedi? I'm thinking the latter, because Star Wars movies have never really used flashbacks.

agreed. Not to mention this is the "no, there is another" franchise

Also, my silly fan theory is that Rey was cloned from the hand Vader cut off of Luke in TESB... If they found the lightsaber the hand was holding, surely they found the actual hand too? Since it was most likely the Empire officers who found it (since they were controlling the Cloud City at that point), I'm sure they did the cloning too. I guess after the fall of the Empire, they decided to make and opposite gender clone to use as a sleeper agent, one who'd infiltrate Luke's new Jedi school and eventually kill him. (If they'd produced a male clone, everyone would notice that he looks just like Luke, so their plot would be revealed.) That would also explain by Rey looks so much like Padme. If she was a clone of Anakin (which is a popular fan theory), she wouldn't look like her.

So in that sense the title is apt, there is only one last Jedi, Luke and his hand, just in two pieces. And Luke has to die so the hand/Rey can create her own destiny,

the hand/Rey!

i would love a cronenbergian star wars movie

http://cdn.gowatchit.com/posters/original/movie_3353.jpg

I'm going to assume that Tuomas's theory is NOT the case, since Luke's hand and saber fell out the bottom of Cloud City when he fell onto the antenna (it's shown on screen); and when asked by Han where she got Luke's lightsaber, Maz Kanata replies "That's a story for another time."

Han Solo is close to "hand solo", like "one hand"

might be something to that

the hand will turn out to be thing from the addams family and the whole saga will be revealed as a 40-year setup for a reboot of the beloved 60s horror sitcom

some star wars fan theories are relatively decent, and by the time a movie comes out all of the small leaks from the million pieces of merchandise gives somewhat of a structure to graft things on to

but 99% of them are worse than Twilight fan fiction

50 Shades of Grey is a low bar I guess

Previous attempts at trying to incorporate Luke's hand into future stories:

https://www.inverse.com/article/21006-luke-skywalker-severed-hand-artwork-fred-palacio

Luke's hand became the prototype for the Terminator hand

since Luke's hand and saber fell out the bottom of Cloud City when he fell onto the antenna (it's shown on screen); and when asked by Han where she got Luke's lightsaber, Maz Kanata replies "That's a story for another time."

I just watched this scene, and this is not what happens! First the hand and the saber fall down the pit... Then, a couple of minutes later Luke jumps down it too, but he gets sucked into some sideways exhaustion tube. Neither the hand nor the saber are nowhere to be seen there, so they must've fallen elsewhere. Then a hole opens at the bottom of the tube, and Luke falls down on the antenna, and something falls down from him into the clouds... But that something is clearly his pistol, since before he fell it was in its holster, and when he's grabbing onto the antenna the holster is empty. So that shot of the falling object was just used to illustrate how long the fall down is, not to tell us the ultimate fate of the hand.

Also, if Rey is a clone, it would explain why he gets such strong PSI-imprinted visions from taking Luke lightsaber: she was literally the hand that used to hold it.

"Wow the Empire really did strike back"
"Wow the Jedi really did return"
"Wow the Force really has awakened"

"Wow the last Jedi really has...uh..."

Sounds like dialogue from Dewey Cox

Looking forward to The Next Last Jedi (There Can Only Be One (one more, that is...))

The new really did hope so hard, in your face

I think we can all agree that the Phantom truly Menanced

the Phantom being the ghost of a good film, of course

I stand by my stance in the prior thread, Luke should at some point say, "I don't recall ever owning a droid" when R2 shows up

there was an early draft of the Force Awakens which started with a shot of Luke's hand plus saber floating in space

sabers and jedihands we are floating in space

So please put your sweet hand in mine
And float in space, lightsaber time

Fwiw I think TFA's crawl is fine, it's just that the film doesn't do anything to clarify the things it leaves distractingly unclear - specifically the nature and scope of the First Order, and the relationships between it, the old Empire, the new Republic, and the confusing new Resistance. The whole thing would make far, far more sense if the First Order was a much smaller splinter cell of the Republican army, seeking to Make the Galaxy Imperial Again (hence their kinship with Kylo Ren, seeking to make himself Vader), or the last, radicalized holdouts of the Empire who have yet to be put down (less interesting but maybe more tenable in terms of their resources and the fact that Finn seems to have been raised entirely within longstanding Imperial military culture, not some recently-cobbled-together neo-fascist movement). Neither one squares with them already having a superweapon overwhelmingly larger and more elaborate than the original Death Star, or the ability to project troops and spies anywhere in the galaxy at will. Nor would it really explain why there'd need to be a Resistance.... but it'd be a step towards the basic setup making sense.

As it is, the 'search for Luke Skywalker and discovery of Kylo Ren' version of the plot, hooks in well to all the character arcs I think, sometimes gets completely lost in the 'Oscar Isaac blows up the death star' version. As with Rogue One I suspect there's a draft somewhere that made much, much more sense (both as a plot and as a story) before someone insisted it needed X-wing battles and something big blowing up.

So, my speculation for episode 8 is that for every paragraph of fanfic reaching for the tale of Luke and Rey and the Last Jedi, you should subtract one to two sentences chosen at random, and add some X-wing stuff and probably a Death Star just to be on the safe side. Assume it will be designed by committee for (very good) minute-to-minute entertainment, not that it will all make sense once you leave the theater.

they never followed up on the Leia Has The Force stuff from ROTJ! if that isn't in this movie then cry cos it will be too to make her a secret Jedi.

someone above asked about Lucas's original plans for 7-9. i don't think he had any. at one point there were going to be spinoffs a la Young Solo/Kenobi and those were included in the large numbers of potential Star Wars movies. that Secret History of Star Wars site was very comprehensive and even they couldn't find anything.

I read somewhere, very recently, that they were going to be about Luke's children fighting the Emperor (who was originally slated to survive RoTJ, though Vader was always going to die). Could've been made up I suppose.

I think the difference between the original crawls and the one for episode 7 is that the original ones really sounds like something from a serial. They explain what happened on the last episode (Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. etc) Even the prequel trilogy manages to do this (and they're pure shit otherwise. I always want to defend them, but they truly are indefensible. For all that Episode 1 sucks, the episode the crawl summarizes sounds even worse...). The crawl for Episode 7 wants to explain what happens in the gap between 6 and 7, and doesn't even manage that. Luke Skywalker has vanished was not the thing that happened last week. It happened ages ago.

They've done some legwork establishing groups like the "Church of the Force" thing or w/e that Lor San Tekka (the guy who gets killed at the beginning of TFA) is part of and the non-jedi Guardians on Jedha. The whole Snoke/Ren thing is going to be some realization of the dark side that believes in power and control (with all the fascist underpinnings) without visibly taking the role of Emperor.

The whole Jedi order got routed because it became a militant organization but one that basically did the work of the Republic without questioning whether the Republic was in the right. There were enough moments in the non-movie media establishing that the Jedi were there to support rightful governments and help train others to do the same. The only direct action was against the (urgh) Trade Federation's army.

So the narrative was that the galaxy fell into conflict because the jedi commanded an army in an extended war and twisted the purpose of the Republic. After the jedi were all killed off, the war ended -- they were prolonging the battle and stopping the peace process! The Empire brought order, with direct command, and a hierarchy to put down internecine squabbles. Sure, localized crime existed, but surely the Empire would have put an end to that if it weren't for ongoing rebellion.

Now, if you wanted a better Empire, and you had a jedi-like group of dark siders dedicated to the new order and galactic peace....

At least one of those pale Palpatine advisor dudes in the robes and funny hats made it out of the Empire alive

Has everyone seen the anti-cheese prequel edits? If not, and if adding a half-star to each one makes you, as a desperate Star Wars fan, very very excited, search them out.

guys what if snoke is vader's dick

you're on to something

sry for spoiling ep vii everyone

and ep viii i guess

Roman numerals are hard

if adding a half-star to each one

read this as half-hour, physically recoiled.

Luke Skywalker has vanished was not the thing that happened last week

It... happened since the "last" episode.

Right Morbs. You're misunderstanding how the scrolls work. The whole stylistic conceit is that there's a bunch of episodes in-between what we see, as in Empire Strikes Back: 'Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.' That's not just a description of what has happened since the last film, that's a whole different adventure that we didn't get to see. That sounds fun! Force Awakens just sounds like a recap.

after this one the Jedis change their name to the Djedis. Title is a total red herring

Wait did we just trade Fred and Morbs politico for Fred and Morbs comic book guy? This is great

I think we're both film-geeks first and foremost. But you can't know about film without being a researcher and interested in everything filmable. There's a fine line between Ming the Merciless and Trump.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wtXkD1BC564/maxresdefault.jpg

That is literally my haircut. And scarf.

Fred is indeed David St. Hubbins

And why not?

larynx sounds fat IMO

There's a fine line between Ming the Merciless and Trump.

You're crazier than the Trump ABC interview clip

You're misunderstanding how the scrolls work

you just want to be fp'd don't you

when they do that 2 Death Star episode we will be introduced to Brown Leader

I lol'd

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3MHq9-VcAA4_0r.jpg:large

ffs phil a spoiler warning would have been nice

A gentle note:

https://twitter.com/rianjohnson/status/826096442242502656

omg

omg

!!!

So if this is canon, I guess the last Jedi is not Luke or Rey but this bone-eating fellow?

ILMer makes good, saves galaxy

what I learned today: star wars is incredibly popular and people like songs about star wars

looking forward to the Kessel Run song cycle

we're moving into a post-jedi society where anyone can recognize and feel the force, some are just better at it than others. stop giving people jedi awards just because they're good at it!

Muggles need to feel special too.

Well, possible SPOILER, but...

The French title will be Les Derniers Jedi. It's meant to be plural... That's so stupid.

I think it's a bit of a lame title. Too similar to Return of the Jedi.

lol when my 8-year-old saw the title he INSTANTLY said "luke's dead????"

still prefer "The Lost Jedises"

Read that as "Les Derrieres Jedi."

Separately, this sounds about right:

http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-new-star-wars-aftermath-novel-reveals-the-pitiful-1792481018

I actually would be happier if Jar Jar embraced the Empire and was using his antic to indoctrinate children into it.

these books are immediately post-empire, so maybe he had a period of that on the upswing before his downfall

after the fall, I mean, not post-ESB

I'm a bit sad that G-Lu chickened out of his Jar Jar is a Sith lord twist.

@RadioTimes
We now know the three words Luke Skywalker first says to Rey in #StarWars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

"See Corvette Summer?"

I got like 60 retweets yesterday by responding to that with "Bernie would've won."

"How's my wife"

mah wife borat voice send tweet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB4I68XVPzQ

kind of nothingy tbh

https://i.imgur.com/FGZGml3.jpg

thrilled that pod racing is coming back

could've done with more dialogue and newness after such a long wait but that's teasers huh

Supposedly 90 minutes of the movie is a court procedural about the how to replace the Republic govt that was just massacred

Star Wars: Bleak House

Anyway, liked the glimpses. Guess we're getting nothing else until September or so.

So far this movie seems to be about training and galactic crop dusting

is "galactic crop dusting" farting on an entire planet as you fly past it

what else could it be?

wait, "such a long wait," seriously?

Darkest timeline:

https://twitter.com/redsteeze/status/852918923435618304

OMG he's back everyone! #TheLastJedi

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C9YtMzsUwAAYOA7.jpg

The teaser for TFA was over a year before its release and based on what I read I hoped they were dispensing with a teaser in favour of a full trailer for this one due to that Rogue One related delay. I'm absolutely an impossible to satisfy ingrate anyway tho.

yeah I can't wait to find out the explanation for those thingamadrones making a mess of the surface of whatever that planet with the red dusty filling is

also I thought for a second they brought back the B-Wing, but no

Nashwan is already demanding an Episode IX teaser trailer. Oh I know.

Haha my mentality is just kinda like, given that these things are coming out annually, and theere's no way to quench the dulling sense of banal ubiquity brought on by omnipresent merchandising and shit, then their only hope of making the movie feel remotely fresh and exciting would be to limit the output of trailers and commercials for the thing itself. Like, they've lost all chance of making a new Star Wars movie coming out feel like a special event, but it's still maybe possible that sitting down in the theater as the lights go down could feel like an exciting step into the unknown.

The red dust is cobalt sulfate from the salt plain surface. Those craft probably use it for fuel or powering their AT-AT-tumbling tripwires. And because the film has an insane quota of redness to hit.

Most interesting bits to me: more of the 'Luke's new Jedi school/students get trashed' flashback and why Vader's mask relic is trashed too (and who did it).

that's kylo's mask if i'm seeing it right

Kylo's going to get angry and smash his mask, or maybe someone else does it

gah that poster is cool as hell

Re: mask -- you know, I think you're right. Had to squint a bit.

Makes me think in combination with everything else that a key theme appears to be NOT repeating the past...which given the history of the franchise, well, that would be something.

He's gonna smash his mask on top of Darth Vader's mask and what they show in the trailer is the resultant double mask debris

and re teaser: I AM EXCITE

He chews up a couple of masks and spreads the resultant paste between two intact masks.

That first shot of Rey in the trailer is a nice callback to the Episode VII trailer and that jumpy shot of Finn that kicked it off.

Yeah, was thinking that. Nice touch!

https://arstechnica.com/the-multiverse/2017/04/star-wars-the-last-jedi-trailer-is-basically-an-explosion-of-awesome/ <- is it just me or did AL actually write better at io9?

One of the things that has me extra excited about this flick is that it's directed by Rian Johnson, whose previous films Looper and Brick were superlative.

The Brothers Bloom, jerks

Are they going to blow up the Death Star in this one?

also I thought for a second they brought back the B-Wing, but no

― The Jams Manager (1992, Brickster) (El Tomboto), Friday, April 14, 2017 12:42 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark

hooray for the son of the nebulon B medical frigate

I'd like to see Ackbar running in this one. Wouldn't he look weird running!

Anyway, frame by frame breakdown

http://io9.gizmodo.com/everything-the-last-jedi-trailer-reveals-about-the-futu-1794335007

keep shovelin that shit guys

the good thing about the whole "balance" bit is there is never going to be a point of absolute equilibrium so they can and will fight to "restore the balance" indefinitely

nah that's why the Jedi have to end, the only way to win is not to play

Not sure where to put this, but I teared up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE99le5FBrY

There's a doc about her and her mom that's awesome btw.

kind of nothingy tbh

kind of fearing that 30 minutes into this movie, after hearing Luke drone on about The Fall of the Jedi Prophecy for a while, intercut with ESB-style training montage and AT-ATs, this will be the dawning realization.

I'm more afraid it's an arc of Luke remembering failure and being afraid of progression that's balanced by Rey's training and quick proficiency, leading to his eventual realization they need to rise to the challenge

hoped we would see more of rey carrying luke around in a backpack

that was a very good picture

Whew, glad Shakey managed to drop by to float his periodic air biscuit. Has Dr. Borebius weighed in?

(I am at SW Celebration right now btw)

Just realized all those red dust cropdusters speeders are barreling towards whatever the nextgen Imperial Walkers are in the distance.

Also, I hope Carrie had an ironclad contract stip requiring her co-stars to do their media promo tours with Gary in tow, snoozing on the panel couches of whatever chat shows they're on

http://i.imgur.com/JLtuEB5.jpg

http://imgur.com/JLtuEB5

I attended the Mark Hamill tribute to Carrie last night and he told some hilarious stories, and got really emotional. I don't know if they'll put the video up but it's worth watching. He told the audience that this was an important part of his grief process because every time he thinks he's gotten to acceptance he bounces back to anger.

There was literally nothing in this trailer to justify comment folks

looks like someone decided to crop dust this thread

"nothing to comment on", comments ilx commenter 'darraghmac'

the comments are coming from inside the thread iirc

air biscuits for all!

Is celebration fun? It seems like it would be a lot if waiting in line

This is my fourth one, so it's fun for me, but your experience will vary depending on whether you want to attend the big panels (with the concomitant long, uncomfortable waits), just see the exhibitor floor, meet with collectors, people watch or whatever.

Just remembered the best anecdote Hamill told about Fisher: They were doing the speeder bike scenes for ROTJ and the AD asked them not to get down in between takes to save time. Fisher kept pulling philosophy paperbacks out of her costume -- Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and so on -- and reading and highlighting them. Yanking her chain, he said, "Why do you bring those to the set when you've got the Enquirer and the Star back in your trailer?" She glared at him and said, "Because I want people to think I'm smart!"

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18010503_1421590321221281_612190387789377137_n.jpg?oh=c46d52bf765bcf787fbb62b9473613c4&oe=59816B34

My wife is in that crowd somewhere behind them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTqSkEbY_N8

Content warning: Red Letter Media doing nerd parody.

don't really understand what's going on there but i assume podcasts are bad

I think it's more YT shows trying to crassly monetize nerd fandom are bad

unless you're Chris Hardwick and laughing all the way to the fuckin bank

thing is they've been flogging this 'nerd crew' thing for several episodes. the sponsorship joke is part of it but there's also a strong anti-intellectualism, anti anybody that gets on a microphone and tries to talk thoughtfully about things. at least that's the only interpretation i can find for the glasses and the running "Me, personally..." thing. really sick of the direction these guys have decided to take over the years, but i think i've gone on about that on here recently.

Not attacking the sentiment but intellectualism is not well placed there Dr c

It's funny because at Celebration I went to a panel hosted by Dave Collins called "Rogue One: A Musical Analysis" (Collins often does music related panel) and it was really interesting. It was hardly graduate-level music theory, but he did pick out a lot of themes and explained some of the music-theoretical ideas of how they work, then went into a history of the Dies Irae, how composers have used it from Beethoven forward, and how it pops up in SW scores generally and Rogue One particularly. Really fun stuff.

And yet there's never been a panel at any of the Celebrations I've been to that does something similar from a film-theoretical standpoint, which might be equally as interesting.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OTOH there was a Making of Rogue One panel with a hilarious gag reel not being released to the public, which included:

-- Render errors on their CGI Tarkin that made him a Cronenbergian nightmare
-- A version of the beach battle in which every shot from Baze's minigun or whatever resulted in a trooper's head exploding in a geyser of blood
-- A version of Jyn & Cassian's death on the beach done in the style of Dan Dreiberg's dream from "Watchmen," with the two turning into charred skeletons which then blow away into dust
-- The two officers in the Mon Calamari makeup -- since all their dialogue was going to be ADRed later -- filling in with lines like, "Sir, your IKEA delivery has arrived!" and "I think one of us farted!"

have you seen the nerd crews they are parodying? there are some that are just as bad as rlm portrays them.

https://youtu.be/vMtajiLLGWM?t=2m3s

omg Phil

RLM are just mining the same "performance art" cynical consumerism that passes for deepness these days.

i lol'd at the rainbow tie die shirt

have you seen the nerd crews they are parodying? there are some that are just as bad as rlm portrays them.

https://youtu.be/vMtajiLLGWM?t=2m3s

These people might wear glasses but they are idiots

the sponsorship joke is part of it but there's also a strong anti-intellectualism, anti anybody that gets on a microphone and tries to talk thoughtfully about things. at least that's the only interpretation i can find for the glasses and the running "Me, personally..." thing.

With the real fanboy vlogs, there's a level of love and attention to detail and I like that that still exists with (quasi-)artistic products. But there's also an uncritical acceptance of the gruel they're given and a hatred of any criticism that deserves to be taken down. There are a whole bunch of idiots wanting critics to be "objective" while also ignoring the many flaws of the products.

To bring it back to Star Wars, there are a number of superfans who also acknowledge the storytelling flaws in, say, ROTJ -- that ROTJ just wraps the loose ends up in a hurry. Then there are fans who want to work ewoks into a grand loops-within-loops theory of the holy sextology which is all one big film of course and how dare people criticize it.

christ that Rogue One outtakes thing sounds excellent.

The problem (well, A problem) is that RLM wants to have their cake and eat it too with regards to this fannishness - they're obviously very willing to be critical of Star Wars and the Star Wars money train, and when they're not indulging their one dude's racist tendencies and all of their "anti-PC" instincts, they can say some really sharp things about these movies.

But they still stake their bread and butter on videos which are basically clickbait for exactly these types of fans, and focus nearly all of their coverage on the same parade of big Hollywood action/genre movies that everybody else is reviewing on their podcasts and vlog-casts and what have you. They're never fed up enough to just say "we're gonna stop doing Star Wars videos," so it's not like they're totally outside this particular entertainment economy. Beating up on the people who accept all the swag and give totally uncritical reviews of stuff is low-hanging fruit and it's a low bar for them to clear imo. I'm not the first to point this out even on ILX but it's like, if you guys are going to spend every review pointing out how every movie is cynical cash-in schlock, maybe you could... watch some non-schlocky movies? In a way it's more forgivable that the Ewok-bedsheet people don't cover independent/art-house/foreign/whatever fare because it's clear they're thrilled to death with what Hollywood is giving them.

they embrace capitalism while feigning an intellectual superiority to it. that they have little to say past critiquing how others consume this media belies that they have a lack of ideas in the first place. the pose itself has become the sole idea. it's the same thing as FJM. we aren't just consuming media anymore, flattering yourself and your consumer pose is just as important, even moreso.

Beating up on the people who accept all the swag and give totally uncritical reviews of stuff is low-hanging fruit and it's a low bar for them to clear imo

this is why it's so popular these days. you can get the swag and still act superior to getting the swag.

when the promotional machine is at its most obscene ppl want some negativity and cynicism. everyone being complicit in capitalism is irrelevant, it's just a reaction

I missed the first part of this. Is this a trade federation thing?

nah, building meter data mainly

I find RLM kind of perplexing. Like, I really do appreciate and enjoy some of their analysis, and yet ... to this day I can't tell if they actually know anything about movies. Their approach is so focused on dumb mainstream/blockbuster movies (and fanboy bait) that it just heightens their cynicism, like a self-imposed limitation. Have they ever reviewed anything seriously out of their wheelhouse? Even when they go retro, or re-view or whatever they call it, it's some '80s cult sci-fi-fi or something, and even then Mike never seems to like anything. Like, how could any film geek his age have never seen Escape from NY, let alone disliked it? He obviously doesn't like a lot of the movies they cover, for obvious reasons, but what could/would he say about, say, "Psycho," or "Bringing Up Baby," or "Lawrence of Arabia" or "Throne of Blood" or "M" or something?

The only thing I'll say about their 'retro' reviews is that it IS nice to see them coming out and praising things done right from time to time. The Tremors one was not a revelation by any means, but still, since they've made their name on tearing down badly-structured and thoughtlessly-executed shit, good to know that they can recognize and call out when something's done right, when the effects and plot mechanics are worth praising. The long prequel reviews had hints of this when they'd call out smart blocking and composition in Empire or the strength of the characters in Star Wars, etc., and I feel like if they would put in the effort they could serve as a sort of covert film-school education for their "sucks/doesn't suck" audience.

But yeah, the only remotely 'weird' movie they've done so far with that is Eraserhead, and tbh I'd be happy even to see them watching, like, Bullitt or the original Magnificent Seven - if they really don't want to get out of the blockbuster rut there are non-schlock blockbusters susceptible to their style of analysis!

I'm old enough to remember that "Tremors" was hailed as an extremely well done B-movie at the time, but it was nice to see them assess it as such again.

they have a series, Best of the Worst, that is pretty good and covers a lot of stuff that is not very mainstream at all (some of the stuff they cover are weird promotional videos etc). the star wars thing was likely the effort of a bunch of people all working together on it for months whereas most of their videos are just a handful of people shooting the shit for an hours.

that said i don't think i've seen them cover a movie older than Star Wars. they are focused on a generation of films, one we are still (oppressively) in. i'm fine w people sticking to what they know and like best. everyone doesn't have to be an expert on everything. these guys talk about b-movies.

that the Ewok-bedsheet people don't cover independent/art-house/foreign/whatever fare because it's clear they're thrilled to death with what Hollywood is giving them.

Though I definitely agree with what what you're saying, this is just such an odd binary to me: the people I know who are the most up for going to see an arthouse or foreign film are also the ones who are most geeked about mainstream movies (though with a critical eye - so yes Fast & Furious, no Transformers and definitely yes to modern Star Wars).

I mean, "Liking stuff doesn't stop you liking other stuff" is basically carved over the gates of ILX.

the people I know who are the most up for going to see an arthouse or foreign film are also the ones who are most geeked about mainstream movies

you know some strange people. Have you met Dr. Morbius? Or Eric H? Or Alfred? Or Clemenza? Or any of the other more film-literate film folks around here? (to say nothing of other irl arthouse film goers)

maybe it's just the "most geeked about mainstream movies" qualifier that throws me - cuz "most geeked" about Star Wars/Marvel U/DC U crap is a *very* high bar, and those fanboys don't give a fuck about arthouse.

It's not that rare. A coworker who was raving about that anime film Your Name that's wildly successful compared it to a French teen romance from the 50s (the name unfortunately escapes me) and after a minute of French film discussion she seamlessly transitioned into being excited about the new Fast & Furious movie.

I guess it's a question of being "geeked" about specific franchises or genres and being the same about film itself

feel like you guys are being deliberately obtuse about what constitutes the "most geeked" audience, specifically for Star Wars

does your coworker cosplay as an imperial stormtrooper y/n

not to my knowledge

ironically I had a stormtrooper halloween costume sitting under my work desk for a couple months after I lent it to a different coworker and was too lazy to take it home, though! maybe I should ask her if she's interested

Have you met Dr. Morbius? Or Eric H? Or Alfred? Or Clemenza?

Only one! I'm sure they're nice guys, but they're a malign influence over the film polls.

see when shakey says "most geeked" he means the people dressed as the characters in line for 24 hours before the first showing actually starts and when you guys say "most geeked" you mean people who are excited in a less specific sense so that means you are being deliberately obtuse (shakey is just being obtuse)

in what way are the people "less excited in a specific sense" MORE GEEKED than the "people dressed as characters in line for 24 hours". Because there can be ONLY ONE "most geeked"

yeah i mean i am not surprised if a large subset of the arthouse audience also goes excitedly to lots of superhero movies or whatever, but vice versa? i'm thinking noooope or else we would probably notice toni erdmann racking up $50 million at the US box office.

anyway my point was about people who make podcasts/internet shows/youtube review series, and people who spend a lot of time leaving excited comments under them. i feel comfortable saying there are a ton of such shows that really only only only tackle these blockbuster-type and "geek" movies, and rave about them (or complain only about fannish things like whether they cut out an awesome scene from the comic, or wishing we could have seen more space battle footage and explosions cause everything was so badass and awesome, or whatever). and i was saying it's not really surprising or remarkable that those people aren't giving space to anything besides multiplex-released superheroes/star wars/etc. but it's a little more annoying from people like RLM, who make such a show of being critical of and superior to most of the movies that they review. like great, i agree, transformers looks like a fucking mess. how about you review something else then? this problem's not limited to them of course, it comes with a lot of internet people who find success being snarky about pop culture. i also suspect such people's fanbases skew male and skew teens/early 20s which might also be a factor here.

i do like some of their 'best of the worst' stuff. it would benefit from much more serious editing, and kicking rich evans out of their crew. and adding the voices of women and people of color. but i've said all this before.

I assure you I did not come here to attempt to stop shakey bullying nerds.

these guys saw Snowpiercer and liked it they arent total rubes

apologies for any disingenuous reinterpretation, I value cranking at shakey over clowning cosplay nerds who are generally decent people and not all obsessives who are uncritical about film

I assure you I did not come here to attempt to stop shakey bullying nerds.

tbf I am mostly just bitter about nerd-dom's transition from a marginal culture w/a heavy DIY & countercultural context to a mainstream culture eagerly strapping on corporate feedbags, cuz I definitely remember/still enjoy the former, while the latter has become one of the most nauseatingly oppressive cultural forces ever. (could say the same thing about the tech industry - hippie mathematicians building weird shit in their garages = awesome! Techbros fleecing investors for Juicero's = good god you should all be shot)

xp

star wars killed the nerdio star

lol

everyone doesn't have to be an expert on everything. these guys talk about b-movies.

Absolutely! But one of their biggest, most redundant complaints about big Hollywood blockbusters is "oh no, it's another shitty Hollywood blockbuster." Like they are some straight-faced basement MST3K, forced to watch multiplex fare against their will. Like the "fuck you, it's January!" clips - we get it, Hollywood makes shitty movies and the year will be packed with Smurfs and Transformers sequels. But their complaints feel pretty silly when there are all sorts of "indie" movies they could review, even in Milwaukee, without going full Carl Dryer and Hou Hsiao-hsien. They recently reviewed Get Out and loved it, and that was cool, why not more like that? They reviewed "La La Land" (like it was some weird artifact), did they even review "Moonlight?" Why even waste time reviewing the Power Rangers movie or Bye Bye Man? By sticking to the usual shit-sandwich suspects they are relying on the same sort of lazy shorthand that drives Hollywood sequels. Imo.

they know what gets clicks, is why

Why even waste time reviewing the Power Rangers movie or Bye Bye Man?

because they lucked into youtube fame. it is their day job to do this, to talk about these shit movies. if they ceased all comic book and Star Wars related videos and spent a few months on a longform review of "Juliet of the Spirits" they would go bankrupt. remember that they got their big break talking about "The Phantom Menace".

^^^

would be interesting to see them acknowledge this, but of course they won't. can't bite the hand that feeds!

the strange ppl andrew knows are also most of them ilxors or former ilxors i suspect

Not so! Though Pete is a paragon of the form, of course.

because they lucked into youtube fame. it is their day job to do this, to talk about these shit movies. if they ceased all comic book and Star Wars related videos and spent a few months on a longform review of "Juliet of the Spirits" they would go bankrupt. remember that they got their big break talking about "The Phantom Menace"

I was being rhetorical, of course I know why they don't do it. But my broader point is that by failing to deviate from these movies, they're no better than the vloggers and sequels they deride.

cogs in the machinery etc.

but they are better because they are consuming from a distance. they are consuming with detachment, with an air of intellectual superiority, simply through the act of claiming that it is beneath them. they are "putting on a performance" to use the very popular modern excuse. their fans are implicit in this. they get the joke. they joke is that they are above whatever it is they are doing. it's the same po-mo "what is authenticity" dance favored by pretentious musicians and artists, only dumbed down to the Walmart checkout line.

the Father John Misty thread is over there

not sure i'd take directions to threads from Οὖτις today

heyo

For the record, no, they did not review Moonlight.

FWIW I think there are models where they could broaden their coverage a bit without necessarily screwing themselves or biting the hand that feeds or whatever. The F This Movie model might fit the bill for example - podcasts are dedicated to a specific movie, usually a big geek crowd-pleaser, but the opening twenty-ish minutes are a roundup where the host asks the guest host what they've seen lately and you get some conversation going around kind of whatever - minor new movies, old things they just saw, etc. It's not a perfect show or anything but that tactic does kind of broaden the coverage quite a bit.

Of course some people will just skip past to the main movie - offering an out to the kind of geek that really only just wants to click in, hear if the podcasters agreed/disagreed with their own hot-take, and click back out - but they'd still get their clicks and maybe the main conversation would even be enriched by this bigger discussion going on. I mean idk why I'm trying to back-seat drive their show when I have so many beefs with them but it's a whole genre of shows like this.

I'm just a little surprised they never even accidentally invoke or reference a movie outside their bullseye. They could stick to their usual fare forever, that's fine, but it's weird that even when they're ripping on stuff their examples always seem to be directly related to the movie at hand. So a big complaint about a new Star Trek might be how it's not as good as an old Star Trek, though better than the last Star Trek. A new Alien movie is discussed almost exclusively in the context of old Alien movies. They can go deep on Star Wars, but only how it fails or succeeds compared to old Star Wars. I don't know if this is intentional, some sort of hyper-myopic discipline, but it's just so ... circular. They do do annual (I think?) catch up episodes that tackle other movies outside their typical purview, but it's obviously rushed.

I actually like the show and reviews and observations, but can't quite figure them out, and don't always feel it's exclusively cynicism at work. Like, sometimes Mike will reveal some massive gap in his knowledge, and I think, you're a professional film geek who went to film school who watches movies for a living, and you haven't seen x?

"man that new Star Wars was so far inferior to Gunga Din"

Most of these kind of folks - meaning uber-pop culture nerds. And I say this from personal experience working around people like this, etc - only truly care about watching things that are part of a "franchise" or related to some major pop culture phenomena. To them, "The Godfather" is an art film. Wouldn't be caught dead - or would probably die - watching a Bresson or even something like "Stalker". And quite a few of the ones I had gone to NYU Film School!

*And quite a few of the onesI knew had gone to NYU Film School!

Eh - I'll retract the snarky "Godfather as art film" comment because they mostly had a good or at least solid education in cinema studies but I never heard them reference anything outside the pop stuff when talking about the pop stuff.

It would be funnier if they reviewed something like Gunga Din or whatever and kept comparing it to Star Wars.

tbf, these franchises and blockbusters are such a huge part of popular culture and clearly like 75% of what Hollywood focuses on, so there's nothing innately wrong with zeroing in on them. But it does often feel like a more constructive MST3K. "We're stuck in here and all we can do is watch b-movies and blockbusters!"

now keep in mind that mike and jay neved completed a film studies course
because they used their extra time to build a wheel of the worst

I feel like we need a separate thread for this topic if there isn't one already because it's interesting to see where people draw their aesthetic lines. Like I'll watch almost any older horror/sci-fi movie without regard to where it hits my brow (within the past week I've watched Red Planet Mars and Critters 2 and Kwaidan) but I won't touch that SyFy Mega-Sharkulapus shit with a ten-foot pole.

More interesting than talking about Stars Wars 8.

I love sci-fi, but I've never been into shitty b-movies for the sake of b-movies, and generally don't like winky movies that emulate shitty b-movies. But that's sort of self-affirming: if I like it, it's not that shitty. Tying into RLM, when they review "Escape from New York" they essentially talk about it like it's a schlocky b-movie, which I suppose it (like most/much John Carpenter) is. And yet, I've never thought of it as a schlocky b-movie, just a cool John Carpenter movie that I've always loved. Maybe it's just the ineptitude of much shlock that bugs me? If the acting and directing and writing is competent, I usually don't have trouble getting behind it.

In 2017, all movies are schlock

Sorry - where's the post a controversial opinion / trenchant social commentary self-clowning thread

If things are more interesting than talking about Star Wars 8 then maybe reallocate priorities about posting on this thread imo

Let's switch out the Chapo thread with the Brexit thread and the Brexit thread with this one

tbf I am mostly just bitter about nerd-dom's transition from a marginal culture w/a heavy DIY & countercultural context to a mainstream culture eagerly strapping on corporate feedbags, cuz I definitely remember/still enjoy the former, while the latter has become one of the most nauseatingly oppressive cultural forces ever

Heh. Yeah, part of what a couple friends & I have talked about in our last few shows. It's one thing to enjoy what you like, but what happens when your leanings get are so predictably monetizable that endless megacorps just shit out cheap dollar store detritus stamped with a recognizable logo.

when your leanings get are so predictably monetizable

This was always the case, it's just the money sources are bigger now.

On the other hand, the bigger fandom gets, the more opportunities there are for different types of people to participate. Would stuff like Clexacon exist if it Star Wars hadn't made genre fiction huge?

i do like some of their 'best of the worst' stuff. it would benefit from much more serious editing, and kicking rich evans out of their crew. and adding the voices of women and people of color. but i've said all this before.

― long dark poptart of the rodeo (Doctor Casino), Friday, April 21, 2017 11:34 PM (five days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

TBF they used to have Jessie but she opted to stop going in front of the camera due to getting too much negative attention from creeps.

I appreciate that their Re:View strand is an attempt to talk about non-current films, but it's odd that they never discuss non-English language films. It's like that sort of thing is just not on their radar at all. I've also noticed that there's a clear divide between the "art films" crowd (e.g Jay and Josh) and those who just like dumb blockbuster stuff(Mike and Rich).

spent some time daydreaming about directions they could take Star Wars 8 last night, now to work on my fanfic

On the other hand, the bigger fandom gets, the more opportunities there are for different types of people to participate.

TBF they used to have Jessie but she opted to stop going in front of the camera due to getting too much negative attention from creeps.

Yeah, kingfish pointed this out the last time we were talking about this, and it's kind of been niggling at me ever since. Not meaning to in any way diminish her agency in that choice, or the very very very real array of massive creep presence for any woman who basically makes herself public in Internet nerd circles.... but I feel like there's more that could be said or interrogated about this. Without knowing any of the actual details, I wonder: do the RLM dudes do much, or anything, to discourage negative attention from creeps, or create a space that says that kind of attention is uncool and unwanted? I could be wrong, maybe each of them puts in six hours a week going through their comments threads and clearing out shit, but their actual on-camera decisions and content don't really sustain that.

They could, for example, state outright that being creepy is unwanted, and that their goal is to create a great discussion place for thoughts and LOLs about movies, and that that requires making people feel safe, and that means pushing out harassment and creeping. Or even stick it as a standard disclaimer in their episodes. Or even say "you know what, seven years ago we thought the kidnapping-rape-murder stuff in the Plinkett videos was just a laugh but we've come to see it as not really that funny, or worse, and we're pulling it from the site"? Or plenty of other roads that they could go down, but don't. Not only have they not done that, to my eyes they've done the opposite by speaking a language that's just this side of Gamergate - especially in their coverage of Ghostbusters 2016, which was 75% devoted to mocking strawpersons for whom ~any criticism of the movie means you're a sexist~ etc. So I think it's not really enough to say that the fans were creepy and that was that.

Beyond their specific choices I think it raises some interesting questions about the structure and format of shows like this. Given a sexist Internet culture, where the presentation of people's bodies and faces operates differently for people of different genders, is there something about the "talk show" format that needs examining? That is, you mostly see the hosts in chairs/couches, interspersed with clips from the movie - their appearances are part of the content and so at the least maybe there's an extra onus to take on the kind of disclaimers I'm thinking of, especially when the hosts are overwhelmingly male and there was only ever one woman per episode (not counting the person-on-the-street interviews and the victim-in-the-basement 'comedy' in the prequel reviews). It's just a very bro-y format and I don't think that's neutral either. This dovetails with some thoughts I was having about ILX on another thread recently so sorry if I seem to be talking in three directions at once.

It's almost as if we need a RLM thread at this point?

I don't think I've watched more than five minutes of those dudes and it was years ago, so probably

jesus christ you guys, talk about Star Wars

idk about a whole thread for RLM especially as it invites irate googling gamergaters but i would be into a thread about gender and cultivating healthy audiences/spaces in nerd vlogcasts generally or something

I have some theory that while some people are naturally stronger in the force, Jedi and Sith using the force distorts the fabric, kind of like how large masses and gravity distort spacetime. So Rey, while naturally very force sensitive, is suddenly capable of things someone untrained shouldn't be in TFA

Either that or she's some sort of sink for force energies, so Kylo Ren being near her both weakens him and gives her this power to tap that she was previously incapable of

idk probably neither and she's just strong in the force and having her do shit in TFA was just a plot device

xp I am down with irate gamergaters invading a couple threads, we could use a shake up and could always just ban them

fair enough i just also think RLM by themselves are the interesting thing about this, even if they've been the lightning rod for my thoughts in this area.

er AREN'T the interesting thing about this

The scene when Kylo Ren is interrogating Rey is the turning point where she starts actively using the Force as opposed to being very sensitive to and experiencing visions as a result, isn't it? My theory is that her Force sensitivity allowed her to sense what KR was doing when he was attempting to read her mind, allowing her to mimic some of his skills. It seems like a similar thing happens during the fight in the woods, where initially she is overmatched but grows in proficiency as the fight goes on and she watches/absorbs more of KR's technique.

And then Luke spends this new movie going "Yes but."

"To truly be a Jedi, you must-"
"- sit on a mountain and glower? Got it."

imo if everyone force sensitive just stayed at home and talked to flowers or w/e we'd have fewer issues. that's what Luke is on about with this island thing

Getting this image of Luke just wandering the island with an acoustic guitar, singing to the birds.

maybe talking to Ben and Yoda, hanging out with birds, etc

"Really, I just wanted to be Jack Johnson."

my other high concept idea was that the trailer is being literal -- seeing the light and the dark is very jedi/sith-centric and it's a really reductive view of the force. just like the republic (and the core/outer rim worlds and other known sectors) is a really reductive view of the universe -- there are other beings beyond the outer rim and horizons should be broadened

I'm curious what they'll do with design this time, of ships & droids.

I read something about a casino planet (!!) in this one so ... uhh ... expect that?

How about a planet...with lots of different types of enviro-*ethered*

like a luxury casino planet, or like nal hutta which is mostly crime but lots of gambling

"Casino planet" just gives me 70s BSG flashbacks

Can't wait

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/27/b8/79/27b879db6e3ef2f109cc4be44e481006.jpg

isn't the casino planet concept from one of the late 70s comics? maybe I'm thinking of that wheel sattelite thing

wow they could have a bar, with all different kinds of aliens

Sarlaac roulette wheel or GTFO

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sabacc

This was ostensibly the card game that Han originally won the Falcon at. Who knows how they'll pervert or transmute this happening for the new one.

Yeah, they shouldn't try to pervert the original artistic vision of Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The Visual Dictionary!

some things are sacrosanct

Can't wait for the Sarlacc movie

Sarlacc and you know it

Say it loud, Sarlacc and I'm proud

Sarlacc y'all, Sarlacc y'all
Sarlacckity-lac and Sarlacc y'all

suggest lacc

When the Force bites dark,
and the speeder's too slow
And there is no do, only try;
but the Death Star is go

Then Sarlacc will tear us apart again.
Sarlacc will tear us apart again.

Sarlacc
In the middle of the

Are we doing ok over therE?

Vanity Fair's traditional Annie Liebovitz-shot cover story is out as of today: http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/05/star-wars-the-last-jedi-cover-portfolio

Some great pics in there. These two are killing me.

http://media.vanityfair.com/photos/59245798b2306f2287537fd1/master/h_1440,c_limit/star-wars-portfolio-06-2017-ss09.jpg

http://media.vanityfair.com/photos/5924579852a3f44dc6f3a8a9/master/h_1440,c_limit/star-wars-portfolio-06-2017-ss10.jpg

after all this jedi training it's more like Daisy Ripped-ly amirite

Daisy, radly.

who is the young girl?

Carrie's daughter Billie Lourde, who has a role in the new one.

She was in FA too, I think.

Don’t read that story if you want to go in spoiler free, btw.

SPOILERS

*a Death Star blows up*

xxp yeah, she had like one line in FA. She was also on FOX's "Scream Queens."

Shakey don't join the Whineylympics man

you seem to be unfamiliar with shakester's SW thread shtick

when 4 out of 7 films feature a space ball it's warranted

i mean 5 out of 8 films (forgot rogue one)

in future installments every character will be played by a death star

heh

What I learned from that is: while watching TCM, Hamill scarfs a whole box of wheat thins, while Fisher would drink all the coca-cola.

do the jedi's win?

You're like Method Man asking Ghostface "Is he dead?"

Only if Meth misspelt "Dead"

I have a bad feeling about this one.

https://i.imgur.com/0azA06r.jpg

Hahaha.

lol

"Yeah? Well that guy doesn't work here anymore."

not sure where else to put this but jeez, living hard to the end.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Carrie Fisher's autopsy report shows the actress had cocaine in her system when she fell ill on a plane last year, but investigators could not determine what impact the cocaine and other drugs found in her system had on her death.

The report released Monday states Fisher may have taken cocaine three days before the Dec. 23 flight on which she became ill. She died four days later.

It also found traces of heroin and MDMA, which is also known as ecstasy, but that they could not determine when Fisher had taken those drugs. The findings were based on toxicology screenings done on samples taken when the Star Wars actress arrived at a Los Angeles hospital.

that is tragic

a sorrow indeed

nice journalism there, well done 👍

the only good part of the AP report was her brother's comments which boiled down to "who gives a fuck, my sister is dead"

i feel really sad but conflicted about this because she was an addict yes but whether any of these drugs in her system contributed to her death is not really established? also how *much* was in her system isnt really covered? some of these stay in yr system for a while so to the layperson it makes it sound like she was partying her tits off or on some kind of "tragic bender" or something

not to be captain save a carrie but releasing this without concurrent analysis/explanation seems p irresponsible because it allows the the opportunity to misinterpret given her history of substance abuse

tl:dr

seriously though, todd fisher's statement is basically that. she ate bad foods and smoked a lot and had heart disease. neither her suddenly dying nor the fact she'd had some drugs is a mystery, when she talked about all of those things all the time in stage shows

yeah exactly

someday my family will be like, "he died like he lived, drinking a little too much and being a complete klutz" when I manage to trip and fall down an open manhole outside the bar

Glimpses of characters (including Finn in Imperial/FO uniform and pink haired Laura Dern) and creatures (a wolf made of ice?) and most importantly CasinoWorld here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye6GCY_vqYk

Loving the look of it!

little characters that are kind of cute but probably not dominating 1/3 of the movie like the ewoks would be pretty great

in other news I did trip while exiting a bar this weekend

Looking ahead one movie, meantime: can an interview be described as 'beige'?

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/colin-trevorrow-defends-star-wars-episode-ix-directing-gig-book-henry-reviews-1021534

The director — who also helmed Safety Not Guaranteed and Jurassic World — also thanked Italy for its history of supporting the arts and said, "In America right now, it is difficult to make art."

lol

fingerpaint embargo

I...don't understand anything about that quote.

Except maybe that it might be difficult for Colin Trevorrow to make art, in America or elsewhere.

Sadly this is evidently not the case!

But is it art?

That last Jurassic thing is the dumbest thing I've paid to see in the theater in aaaaages. Entertaining enough in the moment but really dumb and instantly forgettable.

Trevorrow sounds like a bit of a putz

Lots of new pictures/details here:

http://ew.com/movies/2017/08/09/star-wars-last-jedi-porgs-caretakers/

But there is another alien life-form inhabiting the primeval Jedi temple.

“They’re kind of these sort of fish-bird type aliens who live on the island,” Johnson says. “They’ve been there for thousands of years, and they essentially keep up the structures on the island.”

The Caretakers are slightly more anthropomorphic than the porgs. They’re animated with a person inside (Daisy Ridley said a friend played one of them) and they wear clothes and speak in an alien tongue.

“They’re all female, and I wanted them to feel like a remote sort of little nunnery,” Johnson says. “Neal Scanlan’s crew designed them, and costume designer Michael Kaplan made these working clothes that also reflected sort of a nun-like, spartan sort of existence.”

They can communicate with Luke through what Johnson describes as “a blubbery sort of Scottish fish talk” but they’re not thrilled to have him hanging around. Johnson says they “tolerate” his presence.

The Force is connected with life. Yoda’s world of Dagobah was a swamp, teeming with flora and fauna, and so this ocean world would naturally evolve beings who are drawn to this sacred place. Johnson said they’re amphibious and may have risen up from the seas to tend to the buildings on this craggy archipelago eons ago.

“You get the sense they did at some point or maybe they occasionally do [return to the sea,] but when we see them, they’re land creatures,” Johnson says. “They’re these big matronly creatures, but they have these little skinny little bird feet. They were really fun to work with on set.”

https://ewedit.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/000263243hr.jpg?w=2700

“a blubbery sort of Scottish fish talk”

cultural appropriation imo #boycottstarwars

For not being Henson's Creature Shop creations, those characters are really Hensony!

The Caretakers, that is. The porgs have kind of a different feel

Yeah, my first thought was that these were urRu a few thousand years down the evolutionary line.

My second thought was that I am a fucking nerdo for remembering they're called "urRu," idiosyncratic capitalization and all.

Looking sharp Snoke's Praetorian guards.

http://media.comicbook.com/2017/07/snoke-praetorian-guard-3-1011967.png

https://icantunseethatmovie.com/2017/07/29/last-jedi-photo-shoot-stills-reveal-new-guards-and-costumes-images/

We haven't seen a non-hologram version of Snoke yet right?

i'm snoke

, mates,

We haven't seen a non-hologram version of Snoke yet right?

sure that isn't Burgess Meredith's corpse

I'm still not sure if that's legit or some sort of red herring

Was that in EW or from a specific source?

Pretty sure it was in the batch of character shots which were obtained somehow and then removed at request of LFL.

on a related note, I poked around looking at fan websites, and that makingstarwars website has some really bad content!

they've gotten a little better, but the "here's a sketch of this character we heard about/what luke skywalker's new cloak looks like" drawings are pretty bad

I kind of want to start a site where I post sketches of fake leaked ideas and they all look like a first effort of someone who just bought "how to draw star wars characters"

if you just follow the link nashwan posted, the snoke pic and better shots of the red guards are all there

I want to do a bizzaro gazzara thing though let me try this out

luv2snoke jedis

lol awesome that was more fun than I thought

if you just follow the link nashwan posted, the snoke pic and better shots of the red guards are all there

Yes, I was referring to nashwan's link!

Yeah I completely misunderstood your question, sorry

http://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/20170310_n_nerdistnews_snoke_feature.jpg

Is this dress white and gold or black and blue?

are we all still embodying the theory that he's a Wizard of Oz-esque projection

I'm intrigued because, barring a second trailer that has more lot teases, I'm really not sure where they're going with this movie at all! I've been keeping up on all kinds of Star Wars junk and there are a bunch of things that could possibly tie in, but it really seems like they've done more fleshing out of the universe than anything.

I think most of my fears about it all going wrong, plot-wise, really only apply to the 9th episode. This one's wide open.

the main "projection" going on is fans wanting to believe he is an interesting villain who is part of an interesting story, for which unfortunately there are no clues, crumbs or easter eggs in ep 7.

man, remember how mysterious and evil the emperor was before George Lucas decided we needed to see him in episodes 1 - 3?

how cool would it have been if he only showed up at the tail end of episode 3, and used evil sith magic to enthrall the senate and set himself up as emperor, no real backstory

I think most of my fears about it all going wrong, plot-wise, really only apply to the 9th episode. This one's wide open.

mainly i wonder how much ep 9 is going to be affected by carrie fisher's death

I worry, but if they can kill Han Solo... they can work around her absence, hopefully

Hoping for Snoke a quick Looper-style montage showing how he became like he is over the last 30 years

well, they knew going into episode 8 that han was gonna bite it - who knows what their plans for leia were before carrie fisher died. she's supposed to have a pretty substantial role in ep 8 iirc

xp or the last.... 3000 years

my worry for episode 9 is that they're going to take the idea of a threat outside the known galaxy as a unifying thing that brings the remnants of the new republic and first order together. who knows, maybe Snoke already is that threat and it's not been realized

are we all still embodying the theory that he's a Wizard of Oz-esque projection

theory? but holographic projections are all over these movies! a holographic projection is the key plot point of the first film.

if the theory is that he is somebody else projecting what we see then that would be a first for the series. i don't see why he would look like something else and then project a sickly battered visage.

if they make any moves towards getting past the Skywalkers it will be all for the better imo. family drama killed Star Wars

it's a red herring, Snoke is actually George Lucas

Snoke is Franklin Richards

I reread a bunch of Fantastic Four before bed the last couple nights, and while unlikely, I will go with... maybe

nah fantastic four movie rights still belong to fox not disney

could well be molecule man tho

So this site http://www.starwarsunderworld.com/2017/08/first-look-at-last-jedi-funko-pop.html?m=1 got a leak of Funko collectibles coming out later this year for SW8 and pretty much confirms that Snoke linked above is accurate:

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hxnSaPFLmtw/WYtqxjk1IRI/AAAAAAAANmk/NbeGoR4D1SMMeI7ZDSnEylalZmVEoWy8QCLcBGAs/s1600/20708445_687132608155321_7624941176112905743_n.jpg

nifty bathrobe

Snoke is Betty White?

Snoke is ET Evil Fairy Gothmother

If you imagine him thirty years younger and still recovering from the horrific mutilation of his face and neck, it's pretty clear who Snoke is:

https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/databank_dengar_01_169_18886b62.jpeg

'snoke' is an almost-anagram for 'ewoks' guys

it's clear that snoke is in fact a freshly-shaved wicket from return of the jedi, driven insane by the carnage he witnessed on endor and bent on indiscriminate revenge

Rian Johnson is making the best star wars movie

Just off the top of your head, which movie would you guess has the most wipe transitions?

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) August 25, 2017

Poll answer:
Empire - 42 wipe transitions!
A New Hope - 31
TFA had just 14 https://t.co/l87EVGnKYf

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) August 25, 2017

The most wipe transitions in a SW movie was Ep 1, with 55.

To my eternal shame, The Last Jedi is bringing up the rear with a measly 12.

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) August 25, 2017

wipe of shame

it's official, the last jedi is gonna be bad

thanks to ILX I can no longer watch a wipe without thinking of TynanTynan!! and his amazing video resume

what the heck BG I thought you were on the team

i mean rian johnson just all-but-admitted as much on popular microblogging site twitter, what am i supposed to think

Looking ahead -- whoops!

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/colin-trevorrow-as-director-star-wars-episode-ix-1035463

that can't be bad, imho

Yeah I'm not exactly broken up.

I'd be surprised if they didn't just give Rian Johnson another boatload of money.

Is Abrams directing anything right now? Johnson is probably too busy on VIII to be doing pre-production on IX.

It'll be interesting to see if there's a change in timeline -- as of now, IX is supposed to debut in less than two years.

I have high hopes for this Johnson film and think Abrams should just stop whatever the hell he is doing and go away for a while

Hey guys you know who would be great for this, let's get Denis Villeneuve. No wait! Christopher Nolan.

Bring back Lucas

Haas

ooh cool the opening scroll for star wars ix has been released: https://t.co/1vMRm8YiEU

— Michael (@polyphonique) September 5, 2017

Sucks for Colin Trevorrow that things didn't work out for EpisodeIX. Maybe we can get a @TaikaWaititi #StarWars movie out of this?

— Shaun McIlroy (@shaunmcilroy) September 5, 2017

Lolz. I like to complete my films. https://t.co/Uj6RgKbo9V

— Taika Waititi (@TaikaWaititi) September 6, 2017

brett ratner has been sitting anxiously by the phone since this news broke

I was about to suggest David Yates, but he's apparently directing the next four Fantastic Beasts movies until 2024, unless he kills himself beforehand.

I didn't even like the first one that much

mandatory Brad Bird nomination

that's a great idea tbh

Yep! I'm down with the Bird.

I was bummed when it was revelaed snoke is not actually that big, I like the idea of a giant aliean species

Please keep Abrams far away from this...

my friend in the industry was wondering if they announce a replacement soon-ish or if Ron Howard will get the nod as a reward for jumping into Han Solo reshoots..

As of June, The Last Jedi was apparently on track to be finished in August, so maybe Rian Johnson is the most likely pick.

I keep seeing "get a female director!" threads which is cool but seeing people like Suzanne Bier on those shortlists is depressing for several reasons

Maybe Patty Jenkins. I doubt that they'd consider Ava Duvernay before A Wrinkle in Time has become a hit.

I have a hard time imagining duvernay being Ron Howard level pliable

Jenkins has already signed onto WW2 I think

nashwan has been on a roll recently, just sayin

Well Bird would've done The Force Awakens had he not already committed to Tomorrowland and maybe Incredibles 2 is mostly a wrap before Ep 9 filming starts. Would be awful to have to say no twice.

Bird also recommended Trevorrow for the job...

At this point, if Rian Johnson does as well as I'm hoping with 8, let him keep some creative control over 9, have some pros write the script, and _then_ get a journeyman director to fill that seat.

Kershner and Marquand did fine, although I prefer the former to the latter. The narrative has become bogged down in this "we didn't like his vision" crap because there's this idea that good movies are made by writer/director individuals who aspire toward auteurism, leading them to give too much control to people they slot in the role, but that's not what's done well for this franchise.

They need to remember made Empire Strikes Back, and to a lesser extent Return of the Jedi actually work, and figure out what the 2017 version of that formula is. It's not letting Abrams turn it into an Abrams homage to Star Wars, although that was serviceable.

Empire formula is, get a real director with some sense of how to work with actors, a cinematographer with a strong sense of how lighting and color and blocking will bring scenes to life, real screenwriters with an ear for economical and listenable dialogue that conveys character and tone in a compellingly structured story that's about something... and then off in a parallel production, have George Lucas deploy an infinite budget to painstakingly produce the greatest special effects action sequences humanly conceivable. A dynamite cast and some interesting and memorable locations don't hurt either.

Sure, you definitely have to work with what you've got

guys how about we get george lucas back to direct the next one

it rhymes

flagged your post

maybe if we had a time machine and got George circa, like, 1972

your lack of faith etc

hmm so faith in vader, the empire, and the sith is a bulletproof strategy now?