Who all up in this bitch is Jewish?

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Happy New Year dudes!!

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 27 September 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Rosh Ha Shannah

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 27 September 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

True Story.

So I say to my roommate, "You're all dressed up, where are you going?"

He says, "Temple."

I reply, "Oh I hear that place is cool, the club on Wilshire, right?"

He says, "No Dude. I'm going to temple. It's Rosh Ha Shannah."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

everyone in
my family (wife and kids)
is, but I am not.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

me, i am! thanks annouschka. i didn't go to any family dinners or religious services. i guess i'm a bad jew. so far in the new year i've sat on my ass and downloaded twista remixes and obie trice and vashti bunyan.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Shalom

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The time my friend Steve Mandel convinced me I'd have to wear a uniform for his family's Passover dinner ranks as my favorite 'wool pulled over my eyes' moment.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not ... i'm catholic ... but IRL everyone thinks that i am.

to those ILXors who are Jewish (and if yer Jewish and live in the EST as I post this, YOU SHOULD BE IN TEMPLE NOW NOT HERE!), L'Shanah Tovah!

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

shanah tovah etc from a lapsed jew.

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(i didn't even know it was high holidays.)

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 27 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a friend who has a German surname, so everyone thinks he is Jewish. Particularly his friends' parents. Irish people are weird.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 27 September 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

'Shana tova' to all my tribal ilxors. Happy 5764. (Beat that... you gentiles with yer 'oh oh its the third millenium'.)

― bnw (bnw), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

LET US HAVE OUR FUN. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

tremble puny earthlings

― dawnie lizard is 10248579087019345 in october (mark s), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy Ro Sha Sha Na (Na)!

― felicity (felicity), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Add another lapsed jew to that mighty list.

― adaml (adaml), Saturday, 27 September 2003 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

― shiksa goddess (rosemary), Saturday, 27 September 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

The time my friend Steve Mandel convinced me I'd have to wear a uniform for his family's Passover dinner ranks as my favorite 'wool pulled over my eyes' moment.

And it was a Catholic schoolgirl uniform to boot.

For some reason, everyone thinks I'm either Jewish or English. I don't know why.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

They think you're Marc Bolan? This is a good thing!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Marc Bolan. Serge Gainsbourg. Sammy Davis Jr. Leonard Nimoy. Me.

― Douglas (Douglas), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Winona Ryder! Rachel Weisz!

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

JOEY RAMONE. Also Man of 1,000 Holds Dean Malenko.

And me, converted/lapsed. I don't eat pork and I call people "schmuck" fairly often but I don't do the whole synagogue thing, really. Most of my observance is with family.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

And man, Hebrew Nationals are without a doubt the best frankfurters ever. They have the rabbi's name computer-printed on the plastic wrapping right next to the expiration date, which is interesting.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy New Year ILX!

― lyra (lyra), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know! it's all very complicated. i guess i'm not jewish, but i have ancestral ties. i look like a jew. happy new yr jody and all the proper jews in the house!

― minna (minna), Sunday, 28 September 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i am a lapsed jew, and i really started to lapse when i went to Israel as part of the Hillel Birthright Israel thingamajig. most of the people i met on the trip were amalgamations of the worst stereotypes (well not THE worst, as i saw no horns ;-) ) and it was depressing. i spent most of the trip eating hummus in hotel buffets and arguing about capitalism with a tufts business major. where are the jews who would have been marxist agitators in the LES in the early 20th century? am i the only one? ;-)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Sunday, 28 September 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

its marc bolan's birthday on tuesday

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Shana Tova to one and all. I have 'married out' but I went to shool yesterday. The service was complemented by a parallel 'explanatory session', which was better attended than the main event. Unfortunately, I got the giggles, as I always do in the synagogue - there seems to be a gland that reacts when I set foot in the place - and my body was shaking uncontrollably by the end.

― Daniel (dancity), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Ms Lurex, I found myself in Golders Green Crematorium (as a tourist, I hasten to point out) last Sunday and saw the plethora of Bolan tributes, given that it was the anniversary of his death. I am led to believe that there are lots of famous people there - Keith Moon, Peter Sellers etc. What a fantastic resting place. Fabulous red brick arches, beautiful ponds, willow trees, koi carp.

― Daniel (dancity), Sunday, 28 September 2003 07:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Marx was Jewish! Best Jew ever!

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:16 (twenty-two years ago)

sinkah = singer prob/poss, but if so the fact is now completely buried in lost family history

my grandad used occasionally to INSIST it wz a good old anglo-saxon name (which no one else in the country happens ever to have been called), which suggests he knew or suspected and was prejudiced or afraid

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 28 September 2003 08:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Marx was Jewish! Best Jew ever!

Ahem: second best.

http://www.driko.org/smallpics/davidleeroth.jpg

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.metal-sludge.com/GeneWig.jpg

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

two live jews!

http://hine53.hp.infoseek.co.jp/CoverArt/Rockwell-Bloom&Koope.gif

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(haha, yes i did already post that on a cover connections thread w/ that one ladytron cover)

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a jew.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

gesundheit

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 28 September 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

shana tova haverim!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not a good Jew, though I can still read Hebrew

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 28 September 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

L'shanah tovah, motherfuckers!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.berklee.edu/commencement/2001/images/steely.jpg

p.s. marx was a self-hating jew.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does Fagen look like Fred Gwynne in that picture? Creeepy.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

too much haroset.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 28 September 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/dre200/e242/e242144ova5.jpg

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i live with a couple Jewish supremacists

― D Aziz (esquire1983), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm surprised no one's quoted that Adam Sandler Hannukah song yet.

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 28 September 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.classicphotos.com/celebs/f-817.jpg
http://www.fashion-planet.com/sept98/features/marilyn/marilyn/m0255.jpg

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

chaki = jew

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:26 (twenty-two years ago)

re: Daniel's earlier posting about giggling in shul - well, I was with him yesterday I have to add, and we did rather find it an absolute goldmine of punning opportunity and general absurdity. Which I suppose religious occasions that you understand but feel somewhat outside of tend to do.

I have also married out after a childhood entirely spent at Jewish schools, though I do support Tottenham if that's any extra Jew-credentials.

Other favourite Jews not yet mentioned btw - Brian Epstein, Jody Scheckter, Sharon Osbourne, Beck, 10cc, Woody Allen (natch...)

England's Jewish Chrocnicle is always trying to claim famous people as Jews - recent highlights have been Craig David (apparently he is the real Mccoy !) and David Beckham (Dad's side only, so not quite).

― darren (darren), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and L'Shana Toiiiva to one and all, of course !

― darren (darren), Sunday, 28 September 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Sunday, 28 September 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

That reminds me of the Woody Allen joke about the thumb-sized booklet entitled "Famous Jewish Athletes".

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

because cool/athletic/"tough"/"radical" Jews are the exception to the rule!

I'm Jewish, though you could argue the point. We had seders growing up, but other than that and presents for hanukkah and a vague sense of what that holiday was about I wasn't really raised with any religious education. I never had a bar mitzvah (I was given the choice whether to go to Hebrew school) and have never gone to synagogue/temple/shul/pick-one with my family except for maybe a wedding or two. I went once or twice with college friends on Yom Kippur but seem to feel the need for a preexisting community to go and haven't had that since then.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:11 (twenty-two years ago)

jews drive like this

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 28 September 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I reply, "Oh I hear that place is cool, the club on Wilshire, right?"

AHAHAHAHAHA!

I used to go to high holiday events and shabbat dinner at the NYU Jewish center in the hopes of finding hot jewboys.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Are jewboys hot? I mean, as a rule?

(just curious)

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 28 September 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, you know what they say about men with big noses...

I'm a lapsed Jew too, shana tova.

The Washington Post
July 22, 2000

Rock-and-Roll Mensch
NEW YORK "Being Jewish isn't a problem for some rock stars," says Rob Tannenbaum, a New York freelance journalist who often writes about pop music. "If you want to be a singer-songwriter who writes smart, sensitive lyrics, that fits in with the archetype of Jews as being smart. But if you want to be in a hard rock band, then it's more of a problem.

"Overall, rock is about appearing cool," he explains. "And the pre-rock archetypes of being Jewish are really more about being smart and nerdy, which isn't cool."

Tannenbaum's observations were the impetus behind "From the Shtetl to Heavy Metal," the latest installment of his performance series "What I Like About Jew." The new show, presented Thursday night at the downtown CB's Gallery, underscores the often-downplayed Jewish contribution to hard rock and heavy-metal music.

"From the Shtetl to Heavy Metal" is a tongue-in-cheek celebration of Jewish rockers ranging from such '70s and '80s embarrassments as Kiss, Van Halen and Blue Oyster Cult to the seminal New York punks the Ramones and heavy-metal acts like Anthrax and Quiet Riot. "This evening," Tannenbaum announced as the show began, "pays tribute to loud stupid Jews with lots of chest hair."

Alona Wartofsky
Special to The Washington Post

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 September 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy belated New Year, you guys!

Oh yeah, and I can't believe no one's mentioned Jon Stewart yet in re: the whole "famous Jews" portion of this thread.

― Legendary Nothingness (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 29 September 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

When we were teenagers we always thought that "Synagogue" would be a fantastic name for a club, and ever since then have periodically brought up the idea and then laughed and dropped it .. does anyone know of a "synagogue" club ? And if not, then what kind of club would it be ? Nosebleed techno ? 80s Goth ? Soothing ambient house ? Wimp-laden indie ?

― darren (darren), Monday, 29 September 2003 08:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The problem, I think, is that your premise is flawed. "Synagogue" is not a fantastic name for a club. It's an awful one.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 09:01 (twenty-two years ago)

How to tell that Laura is getting very sleepy: She reads the above words in this manner:

The problem, I think, is that your penis is flawed. "Synagogue" is not a fantastic name

I agree. It is not a fantastic name for a penis.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 29 September 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone's penis is flawed.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 09:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, unless your rabbi was really really good.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 29 September 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Bollocks it's an awful name. "Anyone off to Synagogue tonight ?" - sounds good to me. Perhaps a spell-change to "Sinagog" may help. But I prefer the proper spelling. Anyway Kenan, evidently you're just a non-believer.

― darren (darren), Monday, 29 September 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Go on then. My favourite Jews: Marcel Proust, Tom Lehrer, Lou Reed, Sid James. The first that spring to mind.

― Daniel (dancity), Monday, 29 September 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck Goldberg, wrestling's greatest Jew is obviously Scott Levy:

http://www.theraveneffect.com/media/images/promo/ecw/ecwpromo8.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 29 September 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Other grap pork-refusers include Paul Heyman, Randy Savage, Joel Gertner, The Nasty Boys, Albert/A-Train, Kevin Nash, Moondog Spot, and Dave Penzer.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 29 September 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

is grap a word or a typo?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 29 September 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

"grap", as in "Greetings, grap fans"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 29 September 2003 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm also lapsed. I had a Bar Mitzvah but it was conditional on "ok, I do this, then I'm out, right?" Happy New Year nonetheless!

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It's grap! You know, grip-grop?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Are jewboys hot? I mean, as a rule?

Oh, I really like dorky, poky, jewish boys with glasses... they're not necessarily hot to anyone except me, it seems. [if you know any, let me know]

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 29 September 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

When we were teenagers we always thought that "Synagogue" would be a fantastic name for a club, and ever since then have periodically
brought up the idea and then laughed and dropped it .. does anyone know of a "synagogue" club ? And if not, then what kind of club
would it be ? Nosebleed techno ? 80s Goth ? Soothing ambient house ? Wimp-laden indie ?

-- darren (saintetienne7...) (webmail), September 29th, 2003. (darren)

Darren, you are not going to believe this - but there is a popular club in Perth or Adelaide (Perth I think, I forget) called The Synagogue. If it's Perth, it's probably Vics Vaporrub shirts off cross-your-eyes and go totally mental rave. I know there is this club for a fact, I'm not pulling your leg. And, yes, it used to be a synagogue. I have never been - I heard about it back in 1997 or so.

Perhaps someone else can help me out here - or maybe I can find out more on the SPRACI board.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The oldest synangogue in the UK is now Norwich's worst nightclub. FACT.

― adaml (adaml), Monday, 29 September 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps a spell-change to "Sinagog" may help.

Only if your club was for the Chinese.

― Sir Leee (Leee), Monday, 29 September 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nobbys.net.au/~ozmc/superjesus/pictures/040997.jpg

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The above picture indicates that the Synagogue is in Adelaide. The Superjesus is a rock band, but they have all kinds of events there, including dance parties.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

neil diamond was just on cnn and he mentioned that there's a neil diamond tribute band called superdiamond.

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"the alternative neil diamond experience"

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if they're looking for a new singer

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

HINT HINT superdiamond!

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

will someone please explain this chicken-waving thing to me again?

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

someone burnt down the synagogue round the corner from me last year :-(

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 20:14 (twenty-two years ago)

i wish i'd thought of this

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

the chicken-waving will begin again soon jones!

chickens are waving around people's heads, along with a special blessing; this absorbs the sins into the chicken's flesh. then they are eaten, weirdly enough, though I'd prefer if they were let loose, left to run sin-glutten and mad through mile-end's picturesque alleyways.

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

it's happening right now!! it's a chicken-waving jamboree out there

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

lots of honking and stuff too, it's crazy

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

What's really funny is that s1utsky and jones are probably only sat a few feet from each other. Or something.

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

actually jones was on my lap

― s1utsky (slutsky), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Like a mini-me. or a kitty. Is he a kitty?

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you type for him and pretend he can talk when guests come round?

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

guest never come around :(

is the guy waving TWO chickens bragging about all the heavy-duty sinning he's done this year?? (i'm sorry but this holiday is very funny-looking)

― jones (actual), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

One's probably for his wife. Judaism can be so sexist sometimes.

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Bloody hell. I've just been on a who's a Jewish rock star rampage and, apparently, Peaches and Courtney Love are Jewish too. Can believe the former, but is the latter true?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Courtney is half or a quarter jewish, yes.

― adaml (adaml), Tuesday, 30 September 2003 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

don't forget zal yanovsky of the lovin' spoonful.

― amateurist (amateurist), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

beck says hes jewish

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 1 October 2003 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

bump

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

zal yanovsky (RIP) was jewish AND canadian!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

a charismatic and unbeatable combination.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you buy kosher moose-meat?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

cloven hooves dude

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

yes yes I realized that. But alas I had hit "submit".

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you were probably basting a calf in its mother's milk at the same time!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Gay, Jewish Celebrities From Canada

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

cloven hooves dude

the name of my next band

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i should hope it'll be a one-man-band!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.jewhoo.com/editor/mythical/

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Soy Vay

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! FINALLY!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"a charismatic and unbeatable combination. "

my list stops dead after yanovsky and leonard cohen, s1utsky, please help

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

ps s1utsky do you have msn messenger? are you online?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

So is s1utsky NOT charismatic? Or not unbeatable? Or not Canadian? Or not Jewish? (The impostor!)

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah what the hell dude

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

ummm lorne michaels?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

peaches, dude

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry i meant famous people (jokes about s1ocki being famous will follow, i'm sure)

peaches--oh yeah.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Thursday, 22 April 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Mordechai Richler, hello!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 22 April 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, I've been skimming over this thread, and I've got to ask a really dumb question, what the hell is a "lapsed Jew"? I assume it's a Jew who doesn't go to synagogue anymore.

I've been proudly Jewish since I was seven days old and I have yet to hear the term "lapsed Jew".

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 April 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm a lapsed jew.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 23 April 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"lapsed jew" means you were raised jewish (with some unspecified level of participation in the faith) but now you just claim it as a cultural identity and not a religion.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 23 April 2004 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

my participation ended with my (extremely profitable) Bar Mitzvah.

Note: many lapsed Jews eventually "rediscover" their faith and pull what I like to call, a "John Zorn".

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The King David of Beers

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus was of course your classic lapsed Jew.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.umit.maine.edu/class/ger420/weimar/pabst.jpg

Pabst Jew

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

one of my really good friends pulled a "John Zorn" a few years back.

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"lapsed jew" means you were raised jewish but now you just claim it as a cultural identity and not a religion.
OK, that's what I thought.
Then strictly speaking, that's not me, but I wouldn't mind if they tossed the religious part out the window.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 April 2004 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, you want to be a reform Jew then?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 23 April 2004 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

HA. I already am.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 April 2004 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

is zorn a practicing jew? or just a really aggressive advocate for jewish culturalism?

that whole "new jewish culture" thing, at least the zorn wing of it, seems so shallow and dubious to me

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 23 April 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

god, i have issues

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 23 April 2004 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Dammit, I was just going to start a thread with this exact title! Eh, *raises hand*, etc.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 18 July 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

JEWESSES ARE SO CRAFTY AND FAIR OF HEART! I WANT THEM TO BE MY BRIDES

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Sunday, 18 July 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

necessary to bang with closed fists
the small Jewesses that tremble full of bubbles,
so that the King of Harlem sings with his multitude,
so that the crocodiles sleep in long rows
under the asbestos of the moon.

― Ade (Adrian Langston), Sunday, 18 July 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a self-hating gentile

― artdamages (artdamages), Sunday, 18 July 2004 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

hooray!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

gut yentif y'all, my wife and kids are all at temple haha, I'm here at work wait why am I gloating

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Happy Rosh Hashanah, my Jewish friends!

(I am not myself, but I am sometimes mistaken for being so.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 16 September 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

you should gloat, Matt. They are probably bored to death by now. Unless they go to one of those hip new boutiquey micro-temples.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

happy apples and honey, mofos!

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 16 September 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

my protestant boss just wished me happy new year

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

is that a bad thing?

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread makes me crave kugel.

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I had some last night.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

L'Shana Tova everyone!

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Clearly I was born into the wrong faith. Episcopalians aren't known for good food.

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Or humour!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

true, that.

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Episcopalians aren't known for good food.

and jews are? have you TRIED gefilte fish?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG how can you say such a thing???

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

adam, have YOU tried gefilte fish?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i would kill for some kugel though

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

gefilte fish is great!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

full disclosure: I never liked smoked salmon until a few weeks ago.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i still don't like it.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

kugel is texturally problematic.

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so glad I'm not going to any services or anything this year (or for the last couple years).

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

You take that back, JBR, or else change your last name to O'Malley.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

have you TRIED corned beef and cabbage?

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

It's too late. She's gone so far over the edge she may as well be Southern Baptist.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

you can be irish AND right about gefilte fish you know

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i can handle gefilte fish, as long as it has lots of horseradish to cover. my family has already had the traditional rosh hashana outing for chinese food.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

If the first question had been "Have you TRIED kishka?" them I might have wavered a bit.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

have you tried shiksa?

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

my father has.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha!

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

once you try...

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

you set yourself up for decades of recriminations from relatives.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

My mother fears that our children will have serious religious identity issues.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Gefilte fish, C or D?

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Certainly, shiksa is an acquired taste. It is one of those things you are more comfortable with if you started having it from a very early age.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

my girlfriend is considering becoming jewish... but i sincerely think it's just because she loves woody allen movies... and i have trouble supporting that.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it's Colorado, but there are NO jews here it seems. WTF?

― Towelette Pettatucci (Homosexual II), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

forget it, Mandee...it's Colorado

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.dirtywater.com/a2z/s/shanana/images/albumcover1_sm.jpg
happy Rosh Hasha-na-na

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

goign out for chinese food on rosh hashana seems so appropriate.

i am at work today, not repenting and praying for a good life for the next year, altough i was raised to do so. i, too, am lapsed.

― AaronK (AaronK), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

my girlfriend is considering becoming jewish... but i sincerely think it's just because she loves woody allen movies...
So she want to convert to Judaism for the jokes?

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

is there a male equiv of "shiksa" and if so what ~~am i~~ is it?

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

goy!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

male equiv of "shiksa goddess" = "goyische prince"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

damn i wanted it to be "shikstud"

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

gentileman

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

'shaygits.' trust me, I've heard this one A LOT>

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

gentileman

aw.

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

shaygit up baby!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

My girlfriend's grandfather grew up thinking shiksa meant 'maid' 'cause his parents were always whispering about the Irish shiksa who did their cleaning.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

There is no male equivalent. I remember asking my grandparents this exact question. Not only did they answer in the negative, they didn't even have a concept of how the question could possibly be asked. That is, the question itself was nonsensical to them. It would be like asking "what is the on-land equivalent of a boat?".

Later, when I studied Yiddish in university I never came across such a word either.

(oy, a sakh xpostn)

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i got my info from the source, none of that book learning

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Do Goy & Shiksa refer to all non-Jews or just Christians? Can one be a Buddhist Shiksa or a Muslim Goy? It sounds wrong.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought it only meant ones who were gettin some jew ass

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

WHATS UP

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm sure there are more colorful words for the muslims.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost: "the source" = 90 year old grandmother-in-law

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you wouldn't really say Christian Shiksa either... kinda redundant.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

there definitely seems to be a male equivalent.: shegetz/shaygits/shaygets.. spelling varies a bit.

it literally means "abomination," but it seems like most people aren't aware of that and a lot of the sting has gone out of it.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

the yiddish blanket term for black people = "schvartzes" (sp)

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

My mom says gefilte fish is just an excuse to eat horseradish. She's a Congregationalist though (and one of the only two people to eat gefilte fish last night)

Noodle kugel vs potato kugel? Sweet or savory?

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is proof that Jewish humour is so much more than bad punning...oh wait.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

why would there be a yiddish word for a muslim woman? how many muslims are there in lodz?

xpost

jody isn't it "schvartzer"?

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

ewww noodle kugel

amst -- maybe.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

oh i'm shaggin it alright

multixp

― jones (actual), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, Matt. Your kids practice Judaism? And they are not "confused"? I must put you in touch with my mother immediately!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

jody: quick research tells me we are both right!

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yes, I forgot about "shaygitz". It technically means "one who makes mischief". It's not nearly as common as shiksa, though.

(xpost up above)

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Monsters

Rob Eshman, Editor-in-Chief

Ten years ago, intermarriage rose up as one of the great bogeymen of Jewish communal life. The National Jewish Population Survey, released in 1990, reported that some 52 percent of Jews marry outside their faith. You could hear the rending of garments from Maine to San Diego, as rabbis and Jewish leaders bemoaned American Judaism's imminent collapse. Intermarriage equals demise, we were told. Jewish communities formed committees - task forces, even - and programs on Jewish continuity multiplied like legal briefs in Tallahassee.

Now, as our cover story details, comes a new study from the American Jewish Committee, which finds that most Jews don't think intermarriage is the monster under (or in) the bed after all. The AJCommittee study found that one reason for the growing acceptance is the fact that most people know someone - a child, sibling, best friend - who is intermarried.

I suspect there are some other good reasons as well. For one, the 1990 survey has withered a bit in the spotlight. Sociologist Steven Cohen of Hebrew University called into question the survey's definitions and methodologies and claimed the intermarriage rate to be a good 10 percent lower.

The popular media also helped defang the monster. It seems a Jew could not get hitched on screen without walking a WASP down the aisle. The tension made for good drama ("thirtysomething") or intermittent laughs (see cover), but it is as venerable a Hollywood tradition as superfluous nudity on cable TV.

The Journal's own Ellen Jaffe-Gill, author of "Embracing the Stranger: Intermarriage and the American Jewish Community," has pinpointed another reason for the shift in attitude. As a generation of mixed marriages has matured, the grandparents who once sat shiva after the wedding have found that their grandchildren are, in many cases, being raised with strong, positive Jewish identities.

Intermarriage is an inevitable fact in a society where Jewish identity is an elective and not a requirement. As with most fearsome things, what matters more than the thing itself is our response to it. As we look around our family gatherings this weekend, many of us will see Jews who have gained nothing from their tradition and non-Jews who have found richness and joy in it. We will see children for whom Judaism is a source of wonder and others for whom it is a drag. The difference has less to do with that bogeyman, intermarriage, and more to do with education and personality.

In their excellent new book, "Rabbis Talk About Intermarriage," Gary Tobin and Katherine G. Simon write that for those on the front lines of the issue, acceptance, inclusiveness, outreach and understanding go a long way toward demonstrating a Judaism that is "positive and relevant in an assimilated society." You need only look as far as the success of Rabbi Neal Weinberg's "Introduction to Judaism" program at the University of Judaism and others like it to see the wisdom of these words. What would happen, Tobin and Simon seem to be saying, if all those committees and task forces focused less on intermarriage and more on conversion, on helping non-Jews become Jews?

None of this is to say the tooth-gnashing and continuity programs didn't help. A new and improved Jewish population survey, underway now, will help determine their effect. But as the decade of the Great Intermarriage Fear passes, here's a worthy question: Why do we as a community feel more comfortable "protecting" our faith rather than asserting it?

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

B-b-but TR noodle kugel is my favorite! Potatoes belong in latkes, period.

― quincie, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i love noodle kugel.

adam, if you do it right then jewish neuroses and an instinctive dislike of mayonnaise on deli meats will stick with your children for their entire lives, if nothing else.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

ew mayonnaise ew

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

right on, lauren.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I just had a turkey swiss and mayo sandwich! Not even kosher! I am a bad bad jew.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I like most variations of kugel, but the sweet dairy noodle kind can be a little too rich at times.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My family is very divided on the kugel issue. My mother and I prefer the sweet kugel from the "western" (= west of Russia = eastern Europe) tradition. The family elders think such kugel is disgusting. The family may be torn apart over this some day.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread makes me crave smoked salmon and corned beef.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Brisket

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

turkey is a little bit different. mayo might be permissable (esp. if it's low-fat miracle whip). my mother has co-workers who eat corned beef and swiss* or pastrami with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, and that's just wrong.

* for some reason this is okay if it's hot, in a reuben.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

noodle kugel is great stuff.

The amount of Jewish women looking for Jewish men in nyc gives me the fear.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

or pastrami with lettuce, tomato, and mayo, and that's just wrong.

My mom would eat it this way. Then again she never saw a bagel until she went to college.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 16 September 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cyranos.ch/smlubits.jpg

shana tova!

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. i wonder if anyone has named their daughters shanna and tovah

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

god that reminds me of the shanna who lived down the hall from me freshman year. she was so hot. oy.

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The amount of Jewish women looking for Jewish men in nyc gives me the fear.

that reminds me -- anyone read amy sohn's new book yet? i'm dying to.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

* for some reason this is okay if it's hot, in a reuben.
Of course it is. Hit those halachah books -- it's discussed in the same section as the laws on "going out for bacon and eggs is fine as long as you're not cooking it at home" and "eating pork is forbidden unless it is in a Chinese restaurant".

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to have a big crush on Tovah Feldshuh. The only Shanna I ever knew was African American and beautiful like a gazelle.

My daughter identifies more with being Jewish than my son, but he's the one with all the neuroses and she's the most well-adjusted kid on the planet.

Both of 'em hate all kinds of kugel and gefilte fish, but they'll eat matzoh like a couple of gentiles.

They're not really "confused," Adam, because we don't do anything Christian at all, except give presents on Xmas. If I still felt Catholic in the least, they might be all screwy. (And my mom would be a happy lady.)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I love you people. :)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"you people"

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to know a (shiksa) girl from west virginia named shonda. she didn't know her name was yiddish for "disgrace."

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

those are great opening lines for a rap, jody

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The amount of Jewish women looking for Jewish men in nyc gives me the fear.

that reminds me -- they're not all looking for just Jewish men.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

my current favorite yiddish word is mamser (bastard).

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Mageina Tovah:

http://www.mageinatovah.com/images/home_mageina_01.jpg

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

she gave peter parker some pie.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

those are great opening lines for a rap, jody

too bad beck won't be working lines like "she looks so israeli" into his songs anymore...

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

that israeli sad.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"copped it"

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

that pun cracks me up every time

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to know a girl named shonda/she didn't know her name was yiddish for "disgrace"/she was convinced we were just getting her attention/when we'd point and call her "shonda" to her face

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.50shekel.com/

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"in da shul"

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm.mm.noodle kugel.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ams, the counselors in my kids' jewish day camp have incorporated that pun into this one song they sing, and I always crack the fuck up at parents' night. that's how they know I'm not a M.O.T. (except in my heart)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

well, that was a pretty painless family dinner. btw, re: "schvartzes" - remember what mel brooks as leader of the savage indians says in blazing saddles? that should maybe go on the "awkward racial moments in movies" thread.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 16 September 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

we're liberal jews,
we eat palestinian
food tonight. salud!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 16 September 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

so who's up for some lapsed jew yom kippur non-fastage blasphemy?

― m. (mitchlnw), Friday, 24 September 2004 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 24 September 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not fasting or going to shul.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 24 September 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

My wife is fasting and atoning, so I get to take both kids to their soccer games, avoid her for the rest of the day (due to increasing crankiness), and then break the fast at her aunt's house, where I shall drink a large amount of pretentiously expensive wine.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Friday, 24 September 2004 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

does anyone wake up in the morning and say they are going to "break the fast"?

― amateur!!st, Friday, 24 September 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

jews on yom kippur do

― Symplistic (shmuel), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I will make a mental note to enjoy my food this weekend, as there is no way in hell I'm going to fast.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm going to eat bacon tomorrow morning.

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

hopefully you won't get horrible indigestion, like the guy on radio days who broke his fast with pork courtesy of his communist neighbors.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I want some challah...toasted...dripping with butter...

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Whay aren't there any proper jews on ILX? We are all so proud of our lapsed-ness!!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm always suprised to find certain friends that are in no other way religious or observant trying to convince me that there's something vitally spiritual about not eating for a day. i'm more suprised that my dad continues to do so, just about every year, out of the professed need to preserve some jewish cultural link (he's pretty much an atheist, i think. actually 'taoist' would maybe be more accurate). thinking about it know, i realise that i always seem to end up feeling that i have to acknowledge yom kippur in *some way*, even if it's a (quietly) aggressive refusal to acknowledge yom kippur (by not fasting or praying or not not going to university tomorrow to catch up on work).

― m. (mitchlnw), Friday, 24 September 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

what mitch said.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

also i find there's always a macho element when people who aren't observant in any other way talk about fasting

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the rugged jewish thing to do

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

me, i'm not fasting, partly because i'm hypoglaecemic, but mostly because i don't ever go to shul on shabbat, i don't observe jewish ritual really in any other way, i would feel disingenuous doing it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

also i like food.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i told my mother (who isn't particularly religious and only takes it seriously on the important holidays) i was going to have bacon tomorrow and she said i was "being hostile." no, i've just been craving bacon and i've been waiting for the weekend so i could do it up right with eggs and toast!

what s1ocki said.

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

that's funny, i was really craving bacon today on the train in and i kept imagining myself eating it and then feeling guilty about entertaining the thought. i guess feeling guilty about everything is the one element of jewish observance i do participate in.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(krusty finds out he isn't really jewish)

"all these years i thought i was a self-hating jew, it turns out that i'm just an anti-semite"

(reneer wolfganger hears this and approaches krusty)
"we have much to discuss!"

is this as close to the bone as the simpsons ever got? i couldn't believe my ears when i heard it.

s1oki- re:guilt i think us irish catholics have total dibs on the guilt aspect, but therapy is helping...

― darraghmac, Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

we can share!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

but now i feel bad about slighting us irish catholics

― just kidding (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i feel guilty about making you feel guilty.

where does guilt come from? is it finite in nature, or is it self-perpetuating, like ummm, the universe and calories...

― darraghmac, Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I sooo eat red meat on Fridays.

xpost

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

guilt comes from parents. qed.

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

that would be the main source

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

also the whole "we killed christ" bit (sorry!!!)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

i eat red meat on fridays, but i cook it til it's brown.

i'm not sure that this fulfils my religious duties, but am afraid to ask.....little help?

― darraghmac, Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

another lapsed and married-out jew here, hi !

― Brad Laner (Brad Laner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I was at shul tonight and I thought about starting two threads (yeah, you know you're addicted to ILX when you're thinking about ideas for threads in shul). Instead, I'll just post those ideas here.

1. Kol Nidre (the song) -- Classic or Dud? (for ILM)
Depressing dirge or heartwarming spiritual?

2. OMGWTF THEY DROPPED THE TORAH

Seriously ... tonight the service is going on and we hear this clank from inside the ark. So the rabbi opens it, and one of the torahs has fallen over!!!! According to strict tradition, everyone's supposed to fast for 40 days, right?

But we're Reform, so the rabbit said that we'd all be OK if 40 people fasted for one day each.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

so the rabbit said
oops

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't know about the 40 day fasting thing! was the rabbi all "uhh, ok, we got any volunteers here? you in the back?"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus christ but bacon is awesome, though

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Saturday, 25 September 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah it is.
I'm fasting, but I think it might just be out of some strange stubbornness. When people ask me why, I mumble something about "self- reflection" and then feel hypocritical and holier-than-thou and that I'm alienating them. I also missed my friend opening for Of Montreal and feel kind of stupid about not going now. Other than not eating, I'm doing everything I'd normally do. In fact on some days I don't eat till late afternoon (out of laziness) but it's nothing cause I don't think about it. hopefully that'll happen tommorrow.

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

alienating ~~them~~ myself.

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The choir was singing when they discovered the fallen Torah, so once the prayer was over the rabbi said "it's time for some teachings" and explained what had happened and what we were supposed to do.

If this was going to happen, I guess the best time is Yom Kippur, since most people are fasting anyway. (no need to ask for volunteers :) )

I've forgotten the exact rule about dropped/fallen Torahs because it's the kind of thing you get told about but don't expect it to actually happen, like the batting out of turn rule in baseball.

As I recall, whoever actually *saw* the Torah fall has to fast. If that was the case, however, everybody would be off the hook because nobody could see it (unless you count the act of viewing the fallen Torah after the fact). But tonight the rabbi seemed to be saying that just being in the room necessitated the fasting, regardless of what whether you saw what happened or not.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

YOUR E-MAIL ALERTS

alert("Please choose an alert to create.");

return false;
}

Adolf Hitler

Judaism

Retail

Wal-Mart

or Create your own

Manage alerts | What is this?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

wow that so didn't work.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:19 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost) shouldn't the rule punish the torah dropper? all this does is encourage shul-goers to avert their eyes from the torah at all times.

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

whaa???

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

If a Torah falls in the forest when no one's around...

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

x-p that's got all the trappings of a sebastien chikara post!

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

this entire portion of the thread needs to be excelsiored, asap.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i was reading a news story somewhere and it offered me these 4 emailable "news alerts:"

1) adolf hitler
2) judaism
3) retail (!!!!)
4) walmart

so i tried to cut & paste the little box with the thing.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

#3 should've been wholesale though!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

so are all the jews hanging out at their folks' places tonight?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i need a smoke

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i have not laughed this much at a thread in hours.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

shouldn't the rule punish the torah dropper?
In this case, it just fell over, so no single person could be blamed.

all this does is encourage shul-goers to avert their eyes from the torah at all times.

I don't think so, you're supposed to celebrate and learn from the Torah. You can't do this and also avert your eyes -- and without Torah, there is no Judaism.

(xposts)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm smoking in my parents' basement. so yes to your question.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(the news story was about how wal-mart was selling the protocols of the elders of zion online and being all cute about whether it was real or not, all "you judge for yourself! but you'll never see world affairs the same way again, wink wink!")

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf? well at least there's no cussin' in it.

― Elliot (Elliot), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, because when you're trying to peddle theories of worldwide Jewish conspiracies, you don't want to offend people by using foul language.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 September 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm always suprised to find certain friends that are in no other way religious or observant trying to convince me that there's something vitally spiritual about not eating for a day

This is exactly what my housemate is like. I feel a bit mean now, since I had bacon for breakfast. Bacon is the one food he's almost totally incapable of resisting and now our whole house smells of gorgeous smoked organic bacon. I'd forgotten he was fasting, even though I was teasing him about biting his nails last night. I'd have had scrambled eggs if I'd thought about it.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 25 September 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

In this case, [the Torah] just fell over, so no single person could be blamed.

In this case, God would be to blame since He controls all events and happenings, but you can't blame God, so the blame falls back down to Man. That's kinda it in a nutshell. Western religion = Blaming Man. The "out" is that each religion assumes that they're the chosen ones, so the blame's nuthin' compared to the pay-off. What a revelation.

Anyone here ever been to the Blaming Man festival?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 25 September 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

PHEAR my pork fat.

http://southsidecallbox.com/images/food/breakfast.jpg

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I love this thread. (Though I'm not Jewish, one of my favorite kid's books was a Jewish holiday book that talked about various good recipes for appropriate holidays. Purim always sounded cool.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

im not fasting at all for the first time in probably 15 years. last year i fasted about half the day (but i smoked cigarettes) and went to shul, but this year i am not doing anything of the sort. I had chinese food last night, and eggs this morning. it's great to eat food.

― AaronK (AaronK), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm named after the hero of purim! (well my hebrew name anyway)

― mordechai (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

jody i like how you made your bacon and eggs on a paper plate! or served them on a paper plate i mean. it's even more defiantly goyish!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I will now eat eggs.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't eat breakfast, but that's because i was asleep. i'm going to have an omelette soon.

― lauren (laurenp), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

*cries* All this omelette talk is making me so happy. Maybe I'll have one for lunch.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 September 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

interesting, i had scrambled eggs for breakfast. and for lunch it was melted chocolate i found in my car (i'm at university and the cafe is closed). also, my back hurts and my stop motion animation is going rather poorly.

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to make animations too!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

if you drop the torah, you pick it up and kiss it and all is ok. seriously.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Saturday, 25 September 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

that's what I was going to say! Doesn't everyone in the room have to kiss it though?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thinking about my housemate and many of my neighbors fasting makes me hungry!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

jody i like how you made your bacon and eggs on a paper plate! or served them on a paper plate i mean. it's even more defiantly goyish!

what's goyish about paper plates?

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i have never developed a taste for bacon or ham

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I like bacon sometimes but that's it. Some shellfish is good, though.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

what's goyish about paper plates?

i dunno they just seem like they would be in the goyish column in that lenny bruce "jewish/goyish" routine!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

we always ate our chinese food on paper plates.

― Cripps Pink (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

in the supermarket today i saw a kosher chinese food section!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 25 September 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

weird.

i almost went to a kosher chinese place on the upper west side but was scared off by a crowd of hasidim

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"stay awaaaaaaayyy!!!"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

gah s1utsky i wish i had AIM

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

bored too huh? why not just download it!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 26 September 2004 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Since I discovered chicken bacon I have little use for real bacon. It's just as tasty, it's healthier (less fat), and it doesn't stink up the whole apartment for the rest of the day.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 26 September 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

on my modem? fat chance

xpost

"you're whole style tastes like turkey bacon" -- who said that?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'm always suprised to find certain friends that are in no other way religious or observant trying to convince me that there's something vitally spiritual about not eating for a day"

That could in theory apply to me. I'm not especially observant during the year, and I've married out, but Yom Kippur has a certain pull. I don't think it is "vitally spritual", but I do think it's a pretty positive thing to do.

I don't particularly enjoy going to shool - I spend most of the time looking at my watch - but I can't stop myself from going on YK. The Rabbi at the shool where I live now held a question and answer session instead of a sermon yesterday, which was great. One question seemed particularly relevant: Is it possible to enjoy Jewish rituals without believing in G-d? The Rabbi's answer was that practising rituals with an open mind was better than doing so robotically. He also admitted that proving the existence of G-d was "a tricky issue". You can say that again!

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

rabbi in dodging the question and not demonstrating miracle shoka

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 26 September 2004 07:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, he ultimately gave the predictable answer that without G-d, etc etc, but I thought the other stuff was relevant to this discussion.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

AIM is easily downloadable on dial-up.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

my grandfather was jewish.

― gaz (gaz), Sunday, 26 September 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

so would you say you got something out of fasting this year, giraffe? (i'm not trying to be belligerent or anything, i'm just skeptical about what seems to me the personally limited relevance of 'godless' ritual)(though you didn't say that was *your* position)

(btw john kerry's grandfather was jewish too it seems. he might've even been descended from a famousish rabbi, apparently.)

― m. (mitchlnw), Sunday, 26 September 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a fair question, m. One of the reasons I practise the (few) rituals i do is because of a certain bloody-mindedness - it would be a fuckload easier not to. So from that very general perspective, I'm pleased I do it (or that I don't not do it).

More specifically... I guess the last hour, neilah, is hard work, but the headiest bit. Partly willing it to be over, partly getting quite involved in the prayers that get sung over and over (adonai adonai...). It's quite hypnotic. And I genuinely don't talk while the ark is open. This year the person i chat to most in the world was standing next to me and we didn't say a word to one another for an hour.

Theres a part of me that likes the fact that I wouldn't otherwise choose to do something of that nature. It really does concentrate the mind and there is something vaguely humbling about it.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 September 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Articles about Kerry's Jewish roots:
http://www.jewishsf.com/bk030207/us02.shtml

http://judaism.about.com/od/jewishgenealogy/a/jewpas_kerry.htm

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 26 September 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Might as well post this here:

Hanukah Hey Ya

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 26 September 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm afraid to click on that!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 27 September 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

it'll give you the clap

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 27 September 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean, you'll want to clap along!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 27 September 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

you mean "the clap" has another meaning?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 27 September 2004 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

the quebec film industry mag is called "le clap"!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 27 September 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

when i was about 7 i went through a compulsive lying phase in which i told everyone i knew that i was jewish. i even did a bit of research into the religion in order to be more convincing. this was clearly not going to work, considering i grew up in a very small southern kentucky town that did not even have a temple. or a single jew that i ever knew of. the fact that i looked like the poster child for the aryan nation didn't help either. but my parents thought that it was hilarious when they found out what i had been up to. my dad even took me out of town to temple the next weekend, it was a good hour and half's drive to get there.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Monday, 27 September 2004 16:44 (twenty-one years ago)

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