This is the thread where we discuss whether or not it's OK to use a pseudonym on ILX

My take on it (which I know is shared by many people here) is that "anon" on ilx means you're a regular who is logged out or has otherwise switched identites so your known identity cannot be tied to what you are saying. This equals no huevos.

I think that the number of people who go by names other than their given proper ones here in ilx-land are the majority. Even if your driver's license says 'Joe Blow' but you always go on ILX as "winston churchill", well you aren't really anonymous are you? Everyone here knows Winston when he posts.

Shameful confession, there is one Ilxer who I have met several times and still have no idea what his real name is.

And there's also the issue of being labelled based on what you say. Even though an ILX thread is context, it's still easy to take a comment OUT of context and misinterpret it -- especially since everything is so quickly posted here, not everything is read through and contemplated on before responses are made.

I have a feeling I know who you mean. Does anyone know?

When the three of us were friends (shockah!) I didn't use any pseudonyms at all. In the years since i've wisned up a bit and have gone by Samantha everywhere: forums, blogs, etc.

I do this b/c I enjoy opening up in these places. I talk alot about my job, the kids I teach, people in my life, and I want to avoid the things I say being connected to these RL people. Risky yes but I do my best to avoid any situation that would cause hurt or embarassment for others (or job loss for me). My situation is certainly not a new phenom on the web.

Most other regulars here know my real name. A lot of them now my address and phone number. Some of them have even been in my apartment. So I'm not exactly being sneaky. I have nothing to hide from people I know and trust.

(I refer to Jel as Jel all the time as well, but I'm not sure that counts. I can't imagine you as James).

I am a lazy sod so the ans = bugger all, obv.

Damn am I sneaky. . .

And there are people here who do that, aren't there? I remember reading on the moderator forum about there being some trolls who were banned from ILX who keep sneaking back and the second they post you can tell who it is.

But that's not what I'm talking about.

Everyone holds unpopular opinions about SOMETHING, be it the atkins diet or Camille Paglia. If the subject comes up, and you have something to say but don't want to be labelled a sexist jerk or similar, should you:

A. Say it and deal with the ensuing -- although not always justifiable -- crap

or

B. Say nothing at all.

...because if we all chose option B then this board would be boring.

There are many varying reasons to use psuedonyms and/or anonymous posts. What it comes down to, for me, is whether or not it is deceptive, and whether or not it is malicious.

I can understand logging out or posting anonymously to ask personal or sensitive questions. I can understand logging out or posting anonymously to *reply* to sensitive questions. (Especially if your identity would give away the identity of the person discussed.) I can NOT condone people who log out just to insult or have goes at other posters.

As to psuedonyms or online identities, it's a quite nebulous grey area. As I've pointed out before, I use my stage name online, because that is what more people on the interweb know me as. People grow to be known as whatever they post as, if they post consistently as one identity. When they DON'T post consistently, or when they change their internet identity frequently to escape detection or identification (not for purely mechanical reasons such as changing yer email address or your computer) - that, I find deceptive and malicious.

Maybe this is hypocritical of me because I am guilty of some of the things that I discuss. But experience is the best teacher, and I've learned the hard way why NOT to do these things from being on both sides of them.

If you can't say something under your own identity, it's better to think twice about whether you should say it at all. It's certainly changed my posting style. And spared me more badness.

(it's not that I'm opposed to socialism. I'm just trying to stay on topic.)

definitely A. . .but as your known identity.

While I wouldn't accuse people who post anon with sensitive questions/replies, or those that could call out other people, of being 'ball-less' I would question whether they were being very smart.

If your situation is sensitive enough that you feel the need to go anon it's probably best taken up with a few trusted regulars via email or IM. Those kids of anon's almost always get ferretted out and the whole thing becomes a mess.

And don't call me "dear" you patronising, psychotic, issue-ridden little sociopath.

sure thing sweetie.

1. No one expects everyone to use the name on their birth certificate.

2. They do expect people to fairly consistently use whatever name they do pick, just cause it makes everything clearer to everyone and stops ILX just being a random mess of messsages. Some people change their name every so often for whatever reason, but they often make it clear who they are and even if they don't, they don't do it every other day.

3. Logging out and using an anonymous name is fine if it's a personal matter you'd be embarrassed about using your usual name for, or if it protects the privacy of third parties. It's not fine to do it in order to hide behind snide or nasty attacks on other posters or ILX in general.

Alright who here is not who they are, and why does it matter?

yeah, I didn't realize JEL was his initials. ;)

dan: no worries, baby

The other thread - the link is kind of lost in my post upthread.

(And yay to Dan obv.)

: ((((((((

You're a child of Michael Jackson's?

Steve, you don't look like an old iron balls.

1. Private lives bleed onto the internet and I didn't really want mine to do that anymore.

2. I think this name is funnier than the one I picked originally.

Since I don't exactly go to the trouble of masking who it is that I am, and don't have conversations with myself to prove I'm someone else, I didn't think it was a particularly big deal. I still can't tell if it is or not.

Yeah, when I do get bored and change my name I try to keep Samantha in there somewhere so people know who I am.

I think this is the consensus, although there is some other thing going on here that I don't seem to get.

Does anybody know what Ned Raggett's name is in real life? I met him at a Seattle FAP a year ago or so, but he went by "Ned" and "Ned Raggett" the whole time.

And some of us are reaching for the stars. But they're all MINE.

El Diablo OTM o' course.

bbbutt that's the best!!

(Grammatically poor, but I hope the gist gets across, I'm tired.)

(x-post, maybe)

crosspost

while i agree that logging strictly out to hurl abuse is cowardly, i'm not at all bothered by people who post under a pseudonym. it should be a given that the people participating on ilx are doing so with varying degrees of investment - there is no end user clause that requires posters to divulge personal information for the sake of continuity and clarity.

if they use them to post personal details abt their OWN SELVES they are ok

o yeah and i was born Orbit, Little Miss.

3. Logging out and using an anonymous name is fine if it's a personal matter you'd be embarrassed about using your usual name for, or if it protects the privacy of third parties. It's not fine to do it in order to hide behind snide or nasty attacks on other posters or ILX in general.

This thread is kind of spent, isn't it?

(The answer is "no".)

(obv. i am being disingenuous a bit here too, but not by much.)

(n: yes, i know. it just seemed like a very, um, pointed criticism.)

Okay, time to confess - I don't use the name on my birth certificate either. This may come as a surprise to many of you - and to me, as it only just occurred to me. This is because I don't know what my birth certificate says. I was adopted, and have never seen the original. So I do use my real name, it just fails on that criterion (well, partly - my adoptive parents got a fake birth certificate with my current name on it).

Apparently it is or was common practice to provide a fake birth certificate so that the adoption can be kept secret.

(Mine doesn't say Tep, though.)

U&K will the real slim shady stand up?

or

Who? Mike Jones.

bitches.

I understand why some people are disoriented by the practice, it can be like trying to have a conversation with someone who's holding up a cartoon face drawn on a piece of notebook paper in front of their face at all times. But I don't mind that as much if it's an interesting cartoon & if the conversation's substantial.

I did change my name once on the same thread before I discovered 'show all details'. Like a fool.

The ENFENETEE thread should go in the FAQ, I'm depressed Dada ruined it. I was hoping Ram would get to 100 posts all by himself.

There have been a few times when I've been up for discussion on threads started by an anonymous poster, where the initial question *looks* innocuous but where it hardly requires a degree in astrophysics to predict a quick descent into bullshit covert snideness. I don't like disingenuous behaviour in *any* form, so threads like that disappoint me on a fairly basic level; in a lot of ways people who do this regularly score a moral own goal which affects the respect they are accorded elsewhere.

However, it should be noted that people who are 'chickenshit' enough to hide behind aliases to discuss something that friends ought to be able to discuss, wherever, are generally not strong enough to run the course of a well-reasoned argument without throwing their toys out of the pram. One notices after time which posters never lose their shit and flounce off in a right huff, and it is those I most gravitate to as friends.

You are suggesting retroactively EW Pokemon porn, though.

I think it wouldn't work for me because I think I would say the same shit and I think it would be obvious who I was. oh, well.

Built to use something else than competitivity, the arguments would be created collectively and built upon until the one(s) bringing the most freedom to everybody would stand out, disagreements would branch out in rhizomes into as many solutions or something.

There would need to be, like, a "borg manual of style" where everybody works as if everything was writen by a single person, online encyclopedias written collaboratively might have some sort of guide line like this, or opensource software developpers, I don't know. I prefer a multiplicity of remarkable individualities to this but still I think it could be a fun thing to use.

Don't know if I'll change my Forum nickname, not for a long time anyway.

There is very obviously a long history behind this thread (and others) which I have tried to avoid explicitly bringing up on ILX because 1) it is in the past and I'd like to leave it there, and 2) it was something quite serious and it *does* upset me greatly to dredge it back up repeatedly. This situation is far more complex than a casual reader would gather just from reading ILX.

I would like to point out that it was not me that started this thread, even though I took the bait and went off on it. My bad, and I admit it. "Sophie" I know you're trying to help, and I value your friendship, but this *is* making it worse. It reflects badly on *both* of us. Let's talk about this off-board, where it belongs.

Suzy, as far as I'm aware, there has been *one* anonymous thread which involved you, and it was started by me under circumstances which have already been debated and explained. I know now that it was not the best way to handle things, I have apologised and tried to move on and put it behind us. I *try* to learn from my mistakes and not repeat behaviour that causes problems, which is more than I can say for the repeated behaviour which prompted that original anonymous thread.

There's a difference between "flouncing off in a huff" and choosing to walk away to avoid an argument. I'm going to continue to try to do the latter. The operative word is "try" - I never claimed to be perfect, I can only try to behave better, and neither provoke nor respond to bait.

Show's over, have a groovy weekend, all.

Upthread refers to pretty much *any* attack that's been made on me by someone who doesn't want me to know who they are when they are doing it, or by someone who has mentioned something on-board which really isn't their business or the board's business, or someone who seems to be riding my ass in a sort of fixated way over whatever length of time, or just generally has issues or scores which seem to need airing/settling in front of, or validation from, mutual acquaintances. It's only happened a handful of times to me, in the main by people who don't really know me, who would prefer to judge me in a particular way to fit in with their previously established lazy views on whatever.

I will now go back to my previously scheduled Saturday activitiy of reading my advance copy of Bergdorf Blondes ;-).

yes, and i found it unnerving that he would not disclose his real name (or even the first part of it) to me in person

is it as bad as the piece in the guardian today suggests (to me) that it is?!

blah blah bikini wax blah blah no good single rich white men in new york blah blah fashion week blah blah martini blah blah manolo blah blah and they lived happily ever after in connecticut blah blah the end.

Hey, my life!

more pertinently, don't make me make you hurt yourself.

-- non-u (non_w...) (webmail), April 18th, 2004

It didn't work, of course. I said what I had to say during the day, then at home read ILX with the same set of eyes as at work. I counter-struck in arguments "I" hadn't been having, and expressed opinions that were shrugged off (and fair enough. My opinion is only of use to others in context, like everyone's). Eventually I (as afarrell) posted from home during the great Glastonbury emergency, and that was the end of that.

We couldn't go as we were out of town. But it wasn;t until the day after, I wondered how the conversation wound have gone...

Me "Hey, some friends of mine are putting on a show of sound art, at a local arts centre. Might be quite interesting."
wife "Oh, really? Who is it?"
Me "Umm, HSA"
Wife "What does that stand for?"
Me "umm... "
Wife "and is that what it is in the SouthHill Park diary?"
Me "no..."

(I do know what HSA stands for, but you try telling your wife about seeing a show by some bloke she does not know who you only know as H_______ S____ A_____)

HSA actually likes to keep his real name out of his art projects entirely, for varying reasons which are actually pretty interesting and another story entirely. (Maybe we should have that stage names thread after all.) I mean, you could ask your wife "Hey, would you like to go see the D1sinf0rmat10n show at South Hill Park?" (Especially as it's still on, at least till the end of the month) but I'd de-google that.

(Not that there are many random googlers looking for D1sinf0rmat10n anyway...)