Frequently Asked Question : How do I get EXCELSIORED?

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Tips and Techniques to get into the Excelsior (series of) thread(s).

Where you say something funny, someone else laughs out loud and does the courtesy of adding it to the latest Excelsior thread, for others to laugh at. Some ILXors have never been, some can be once in a while, and some can at any time they like.

Notes and Suggestions start here:

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

1. References to "Hey Ya" often succeed.

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

2. Think WWDPS: What Would Dan Perry Say?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Ge1r H0ngr0 JOK3Z

― NUMBER 1 TERRY RILEY FAN (ex machina), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Remember that, statistically speaking, the more one-liners you post, the more likely one of them is going to be funny.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

3. Organise an Excelsior Boost faction with your few friends to hype your posts into Excelsior. Post each others' comments up on a regular basis.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do we need this? If your not funny, your not funny. You have no hope of getting onto an Excelsior thread.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

End all your posts with "Also I like rap."

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

trust aja on this

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, crap!! It's if YOU'RE not funny

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't know.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

4. Become quippy.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

5. Long, bizarre rants, or stories that end with someone getting covered in something are always preferred for Excelsior.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Get an ILXor significant other. Spend all day excelsioring each other when you could be fucking.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do we need this? If your not funny, your not funny. You have no hope of getting onto an Excelsior thread.

This is like Ernest Shackleton telling some kid he'll never make it to the Antarctic.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX would be a much better place if people didn't worry about this.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Is "quippy" a saying said in the UK?

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

But Nicole, we wouldn't have the funny. WE WOULDN'T HAVE THE FUNNY!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-two years ago)

The LOL thread is ILE's version of ILM's cockwavery!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

'Quippy' is my own invention, Aja. And I am in Australia. Why, you ask? I often ask myself the same question.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm quippy!

Whippy Yippy!!

I'm listening to Le Tigre on the radio!

Yippy Quippy Whippy, thing!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

If the LOL threads didn't exist, the folks whose fondest dream is to win the amateur night at the Comedy Castle wouldn't post pointless one-liners in the vain hope of ending up getting quoted in the LOL thread. That doesn't mean that the people who truly are funny would stop being funny.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

but how would we KNOW they were funny?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you saying WE are stupid?

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Is WE equal to YOU?

― andrew 'dean!' clay (deangulberry), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It INCLUDES YOU too dean!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Kids! Break it up THIS INSTANT.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

break it up break it up break it up break down!

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

YEAH!!

Look at those shards!!

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't really see how the impulse for making jokes (and I really doubt anyone makes jokes to get into an LOL thread) is any different in people who are funny than in people who aren't.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Although I don't think it is as common now as it was after the LOL threads were first introduced, I do think that people would post things in hopes to get into the LOL threads. Or, more to the point, that getting into the LOL threads frequently was the pinnacle of ILX honor, and that we as a group encouraged the postings that we heralded there more than any other postings made. We decided we were a bunch of funny people entertaining one another, rather than any of the other possibilities.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the shitty bit, yeah. The reason I apparently come across as a bit 'hard' on the internet is that I hate ha ha chumminess. It's a rare talent to be able to be funny without having an element of cruelty or at least pushing the world away. I tend to find all the fucking knees-up-mother-Brown crazeee sexual innuendo and punathons a bit embarrassing. I don't like inclusiveness in humour. Threads are rarely funny when they're started with the intention of being so, either. But it's horses for courses.

I'm going to start using "but it's horses for courses" as a winky thing at the end of all my posts from now on.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone once suggested a thread for thought-provoking posts, which I think is a great idea.

― Sym (shmuel), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

It happened. It died.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Really? Where?

― Sym (shmuel), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno - maybe I dreamt it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

there shuold be a "whats good on ile" thraed on ilm.

― :|, Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"knees up mother brown"?

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I was the one who suggested it, and someone else (nordic? nza? haikunym?) made it happen but then, as mentioned, it died.

I was wonder about that "knees up" phrase myself.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess I also think it's a bit easy to be funny while being cruel and so I'm more in favor of the attempts to be funny without being cruel. Also part of me suspects that if you stop thinking sex is funny then you stop being human a bit. Though I might be wrong, I haven't decided.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry - it's an old round-the-piano Cockney song. A 'knees-up' is a kind of thigh-slapping "let's all get together and have a laugh" kind of party.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you know, I had no idea what tune "who ate all the pies" was sung to until now. It's "Knees Up Mother Brown" isn't it? I kind of disassociate football chants from the songs they come from.

This probably belongs on another thread.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I like it here.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

and here i am, thinking that it was dastoor-ian original.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 25 April 2004 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Nicole and Casuistry OTM. I'm all for abolishing the LOL threads, as they mostly serve to reinforce cliques. Very often, what's posted there, particularly the extended conversations, aren't inherently funny. They're just there because it's Dan being Dan responding to Momus being Momus (or whatever). They're only funny if you're a regular.
(possible translation: Why am I never there dammit?????>??)

― Prude (Prude), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

"How can you be funny if I don't know who you are?"

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly.

― Prude (Prude), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I posted something yesterday from someone I'd never heard of.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

"I guess I also think it's a bit easy to be funny while being cruel and so I'm more in favor of the attempts to be funny without being cruel."

Wisdom.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/blogphotos/Blog_God_Hates_You.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 25 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 40 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

a sensible approach

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

It's horses for courses.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

FAP threads 'cliquey'?

What else could they be? Some can go, some cannot. That's what they do...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I see his point, as FAP-crap-discussion does have a habit of spilling out onto other threads, which was my original complaint about the Excelsior threads.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, FAP threads are what they are (I kind of hate all messageboard lingo, esp. acronyms, but that's another story). As long as they don't totally drown out everything else, they don't bother me. It's when the ostensibly open-ended, subject-based threads get bogged down in inpenetrable personal banter that it's a bad thing.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

This sort of get-a-room banter should also be banned: Tall Asians: C or D?

(What I said about banning the working class, add Scottish Middle Class "Marxists" to those up against the wall.)

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

In fact, ban all of ILE except Archeology threads, crush threads and, meta-threads! Hooray!

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

um kate, why does it feel like you take exception to all the cliquey stuff on ilx except that which involves you?

(xpost)

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

There definitely needs to be more banning.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

How liberal of you Kate to be a banter banner

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

All people pointing out my "hypocrisy" and missing the obvious ironing will also be up against the wall.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

My ironing board is up against our back wall at the moment...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

more david banner necessary.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"HULK SMASH EXCELSIOR THREAD!!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

up against the wall can be nice....so i've heard

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't tease me with lecherous comments when you're in another country!

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm telling you, if we could just keep out those people who were educated at private schools everything'd be hunky dory

― Dadaismus (Dada), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

more david banner necessary

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Can we just have Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde instead? I'm *sure* Dr. Jeckyll went to a fee-paying school...

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

7. I dunno.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Interesting thread. It makes me think of kittens.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

if Badly Drawn Kit doesn't get you Excelsiored, nothing will.

― g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

And toast. Toast should definitely be banned.

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, Oasis meant that I didn't have to shave the bit between my eyebrows.

Dawn "Hey, shave the bit between yr eyebrows"
Me: "No."

And now, Amber has the same eyebrows as me, but Auburn coloured, obv.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, when you say, "Toast should definitely be banned," do you mean "Toast should definitely be buttered and the covered with raspberry preserves"? Because YUM.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Banned, Jammed, what's a consonant or two between friends?

― Super-Kate (kate), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

B.Marley "We're Banning... I wanna ban it wit you..."

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 April 2004 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't really bother posting to the funny threads for the following reasons:

1) things are sometimes funny in context
2) I found it funny, others might not
3) I laughed at people being mean to each other

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 26 April 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, when was the last dick joke i posted?

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Monday, 26 April 2004 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it is all harmless fun really.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 April 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

No dick jokes are very serious.
Why do you think Momus is in the elevated* position he is in today?

*ahem

― ..., Monday, 26 April 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

oh don't ban the funny thread, just include me more often.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 26 April 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

8. Wait for someone to say something like "but then Damon Albarn would have to be drug behind a team of horses in his own offal" and then say "I FIND YOUR IDEAS INTRIGUING AND WOULD LIKE TO SUBSRIBE TO YOUR NEWSLETTER," 'cause that's superfresh.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

People who never actually get posted to LOL thread in complaining abt it being crap shockah.

(PS just kidding, it probably isnt the case at all. Oh god I am sleep depped)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

For what it's worth, I used to get posted to the LOL thread fairly often, and it brought me joy, and then I realized I didn't care for the LOL thread and its effects, and I said "fuck that noise" and then I stopped getting posted to the LOL thread as often. But I don't read them so much these days, so I don't know if I'm being posted there or not. Either way I'm happy.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Happy is good, sir. As opposed to bad.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

INdeed. I mean its a bit sad that there's noise over the threads that bring joy and amusement (LOL threads, aussie rambling, this is the... etc etc) when there is plenty of other far more distressing stuff going on that seems to be mostly ignored. It makes me a sad panda.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not be a sad panda. Instead, dance and sing. Woo!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

you have to eat the soggy biscuit.

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

OK now I'm just scared :P

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 April 2004 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Trayce is quite right. And I'm not just saying that because she posts my hilarious ejaculations into Excelsior all the time.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"ejectulations"

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

That's odd. I thought you were going to make the connection to the soggy biscuit and hit me out of the park. Instead, you wrongfooted me with a googly.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Gah, I shouldve seen that one. Ive had like 4 hours sleep. Don't mind me.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Sometimes the LOL thread is a necessary evil - there's no other place to display stuff like the Kenyon/Rony from my cage Kanye West post (something truly special, thanks whoever posted it) unless you start threads for every exceptional post (you'd probably have to pretend to be drunk to get away with that). Brilliant flashes aside, I think it's one of the corniest things on the internet - the online equivalent to the early days of America's Funniest Home Videos when you would have cut off your pinky if people would just stop being SO EASILY AMUSED. I think as some people get older or gradually become suffuse with that tiny, chipper brand of office banter, they start laughing at anything by anyone they aren't enemies with.

― LC, Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

You think the LOL thread is one of the corniest things on the internet? Have you seen the rest of the Internet?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris OTM - We're Lenny Bruce compared to the rest of the Internet, dammit.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Do not be a sad panda. Instead, dance and sing. Woo!

ned raggett = donovan leitch?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

do people really change their posting habits in order to get on the LOL thread? I suppose some probably do. I post one-liners (as do all the people who have bemoaned them. I suppose they just think theirs are actually funny), but I never post while thinking "oh boy I bet this'll get on the LOL thread!". Therefore, not having a LOL thread wouldn't affect me. Sorry.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris OTM - We're Lenny Bruce compared to the rest of the Internet, dammit.

(I'd post that one to the curent Excelsior thread, but this thread is excelsior proofed.)

When first started here, and got posted to excelsior the first time, it was a quite nice feeling the rest of the day. And admittedly posted a few to get posted there, subsequently. But none of the 'on purpose' ones got there. I'd find the ones that did, I'd say "Really, That funny?" but feel nice again, anyhow. Now, I dont pay no mind it, it's just like a creme egg you didn't expect moment.

Ahh. flowers and baby lambs. I got too much sleep, didn't I?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 April 2004 07:27 (twenty-two years ago)

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