Do you ever feel ugly?

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I am feeling very, well, ugly in a "bag full of nickels" kinda way. How much of how we see ourselves is in our mood? Do you look better to yourself when in a good mood?

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 30 October 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

washing my face makes me feel better....

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Saturday, 30 October 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

PS U R CUET

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Saturday, 30 October 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

aw...

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 30 October 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

you're not ugly.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Not by a long shot.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone who doesn't feel ugly/useless every now and again would be a horrible horrible person i think.

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

and all ugly on the inside.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

if i am feeling ugly, it helps to do laundry.

― Ian John50n (orion), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I kinda wish I didn't feel so ugly all the time. I know why I do (besides that I am ugly) and yet it doesn't help.

― Bryan (Bryan), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i think boys are allowed to be ugly and not be too cut up about it. we can do sports instead.

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you ever feel ugly?

I used to, but we broke up.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

often!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM MOMUSFOR HALLOWEEN

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 30 October 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

this past week I've felt uglier than I have in my entire life... I dunno why. I feel okay today, though. I think I need a new clothes.

― battlin' green eyeshades (Homosexual II), Sunday, 31 October 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I always feel ugly when I don't shave. But right now I'm clean-shaven and prepared to go out into the world as a MONK.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 31 October 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.marymaden.com/manatee.jpg

xpost

― LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Sunday, 31 October 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

monks is hot.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 31 October 2004 05:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel ugly when I start to realize how much I look like my dad. Not that my dad is ugly, not at all, just that I don't want to look like him, and damnit do I ever.

I fell ugly when I haven't been taking care of myself, or when I haven't been getting things done in a timely manner, or when I'm down to the last clean laundry (in which case I may not be ugly, but I'm certainly not well-dressed.)

Anyway, don't worry about it, Orbit. You're a cutie, and it's just a mood.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone who doesn't feel ugly/useless every now and again would be a horrible horrible person i think...

and all ugly on the inside.

Having just watched The Rules of Attraction on cable, I second this enthusiastically.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ever?????

i am fucking ugly.

― bulbs (bulbs), Sunday, 31 October 2004 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

It's okay. I'll still have embarrassed fratty sex with you.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Having just watched The Rules of Attraction on cable, I second this enthusiastically.

(BTW -- this is on again, and I'm watching it again. I love this movie very much.)

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i look better straight-on than in profile or 3/4 view. so i just need to practice standing DIRECTLY IN FRONT of anyone i am attracted to.

― amateur!!st, Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

that or i need to start working on BECOMING TWO DIMENSIONAL

[people who define themselves by the work of others]

― amateur!!st, Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:04 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah my profile is fucking awful.

― battlin' green eyeshades (Homosexual II), Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

my lips protrude like on one of those old sambo statuettes. and i slouch

― amateur!!st, Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

that or i need to start working on BECOMING TWO DIMENSIONAL

i thought a prerequisite for posting on message boards was that you could only ever be one-dimensional, ahahaha....

― darr.aghmac, Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

nah, we're just all NPC scripts

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 31 October 2004 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha.

Anyway, I feel ugly every moment I'm awake. The only way to escape those thoughts for me is to fall asleep and slip into a dream world where I've forgotten what I look like. I'd sure as hell like to know that it's a constant thought in the minds of everyone out there and that it's not just a few of us extremely unconfident individuals who are feeling much the same way.

― Accept No Substitutes (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:06 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's most people, if not all. Sleep tight.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

unconfident? that's my new word for the day.

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, hush.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i promise to use it at least twice. so hush me not.

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, it's okay. I should've added the disclaimer "(is that even a word?)" to that, because I myself wasn't even sure if it was. A preexisting or proper one, anyway.

Kenan, thanks for being reassuring. I suppose it's part of the madness of the human condition. Maybe.

― Accept No Substitutes (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

(Aw, thanks for promising to use my little invented word!)

― Accept No Substitutes (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel ugly constantly, or used to. I can look in a mirror now and think "well, it could be worse", at least.

― edward o (edwardo), Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:24 (twenty-one years ago)

wasn't one of the dwarfs called ugly? or am i being a little harsh on one of them?

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 31 October 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I rarely feel actively ugly, but I rarely feel more than one small step away from that either.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 31 October 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I got told I was ugly as a kid quite a bit. I have no idea whether my appearance hads improved or whether i can attribute the fact ppl don't tell me this anymore to the fact that adults are more polite than children.

I am reassured by my Hot or Not rating.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 31 October 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Link.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 31 October 2004 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't often feel like I'm really ugly, nor really attractive. I think most of the time I look like I'm on the edge of just about passable - a 48% or so.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 31 October 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I got lots of conflicting messages when I was a kid, i.e. "You're fat"/"You never eat, you're too thin", "you're the prettiest one there"/"you look like shit", etc. It made me feel terrible at first, which eventually made me realize the difference in what you believe about your appearance vs. what you actually look like, which stays relatively the same from day to day. If my mom could say "you're ugly" one day and "you're pretty" the next and change my entire worldview, why couldn't I do that for myself? So I did, and I chose to tell myself the latter every day. Now I don't feel ugly; I don't allow myself to.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to be able to do that, but mirrors tend to give me a perfectly good reason why I can't.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I always felt unattractive as a child. I had girlfriends in high school but I was never convinced that it was because I was cute; I thought it was more because I was athletic, "funny," different.

I have grown and my insecurities have grown with me. I am least attractive when I am asking other people how I look. I am at my best when I'm too wrapped up in something to care about it. It is hard to remember all this most days.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

roxy, yr mom would sometimes tell you that you looked ugly? this displeases me.

― m. (mitchlnw), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, she would. She was *constantly* picking on little things about my appearance. Every day getting into the car to go to school, I was filled with terror about what she would say/point out. Other, less stable times, she would say "You look terrible," etc. Not to paint a picture of her as mean, she was a good mom with problems who did her best.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"You look terrible" is making it light, though.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

If I can elaborate on what I mean, I don't spend all day obsessing that I look crap. In my head I think I look OK when I think about it, which isn't often. However, sometimes I get a shock when I see photos, or pass a mirror because that's not what I think I look like. I don't "feel" ugly that often, but I think I look it, and its when I'm physically reminded that the feeling gets in and refuses to leave.

I do take huge crying fits and refuse to leave the house sometimes because I look fat/skanky/minging, but this happens far less than it used to.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 31 October 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 38 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

miss delaware 1998 is also a jody.

― results not typical (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Timely thread. For the past week or so I've been feeling really unattractive and fat. This is very strange for me, as normally I'm super-confident about my appearance.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus, your game is great!

I'm less awkward than this guy, more focused than this one, have better teeth than this limey bastard, have never worn a bow-tie unlike this clown, less pierced and sleazy than this whacko, and, err, um, yeah...

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

the jodys are, for the most part, an attractive bunch. but if i'm feeling low, i can always look at this woman and take comfort.

― results not typical (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

unconfident is a word.

― John (jdahlem), Monday, 1 November 2004 02:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Great, all I get is British women with FFF breasts and world-class basketball players.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 1 November 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

btw thanks Kenan and Jeanne upthread, and Andrew you are still too cute for your own good ;-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 1 November 2004 04:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Good god, there's an 11 year old Lhasa Apso out there with the same first and middle as mine.

I am cuter, I think.

Googling just my first name gets me either pets, newborn babies, or porn.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 1 November 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.lewis.k12.ky.us/school/lcms/staff/rgilbert.jpg

"Rosemay Gilbert"

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 1 November 2004 05:51 (twenty-one years ago)

whoops

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 1 November 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.
Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby.
Yeah?. Alright.

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Monday, 1 November 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I go through stages of this & at the moment I happen to be smack bang at the bottom of a bit 'self-confidence lacking' pit! So I'm ugly, fat, can't do anything right, shit clothes, thick etc etc. I'm not sure why it happens, but it is soul destroying. On saturday, I was getting ready to go out, all the while I was crying cos i thought I looked awful. I am comforted by the fact that ppl who I think are attractive (orbit, mandee, roxy to name but a few) go through this aswell. I don't mean to revel in your misery, it's just that I am glad i am not the only one experiencing this as it really sucks.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 November 2004 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Nowadays i just don't care. i think i look ok.

-- ken c (pykachu10...), October 31st, 2004.

LIAR!
Having spent too many nights watching Ken spend an entire evening at the Buffalo Bars in front of the full length mirror, making eyes at himself whilst dancing, I think I can say Ken thinks he looks super hott.

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Monday, 1 November 2004 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

not to mention his habit of taking numerous photos of himself, doing his version of BLUE STEEL

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Monday, 1 November 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

(ken IS hott, obv)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Monday, 1 November 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

for some reason, whenever i got my hair cut, i'd always feel so ugly. not after, but just sitting in the chair before and during getting the cut too, whatever my mood would be. i used to be careful about wearing makeup and trying to look good but it didn't matter--just walking into a salon somehow makes me feel hideous beyond redemption, which is stupid, but there it is.

seems like everybody feels ugly sometimes.

googling julia, i get julia roberts, some lingerie modelling people, and various attractive/glamorous-looking people. oh well.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 1 November 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Cathys range from very attractive to very ugly indeed. Some are naked, some are cute animals, one is Cathy Dennis, one is wearing very tacky underwear and has her face blurred out.

My favourite is Cathy Rogers, who has presented Scrapheap Challenge and played keyboards in a tweepop band.

This is a fun game.

― Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I am worried I will get tons of porn if I google my name. I caught a glimpse of my nose in a mirror last night and I just thought "dear god is that ever unfeminine." I spent most of my life in the shadow of my extremly handsome older brother, to the point that girls at school would say constantly "OMG your Nate's sister? But your brother's so hot and you're so...um..um." We still get this sometimes in public, 10 years later, it's quite uncomfortable. I don't think I'm ugly, I just have features that are quite strong and dark, which is not considered the attractive ideal, and spent a lot of my life wishing I was "pretty."

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I also think most of the people who have posted about being ugly are certainly not, judging from the "what do you look like today?" threads.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think it's so much about *being* ugly as about *feeling* ugly, which are two quite different things. It's hard to be positive about your appearance when you feel useless, redundant, talentless, unwanted, or, well, shit.

I feel pretty much like a waste of space at the moment, so if I look in the mirror, I'm just going to see a waste of space, no matter what my facial features are actually up to.

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Newsflash - all of you ILX people are BEAUTIFUL!

On the other hand, you don't smell very 'fresh'...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

(It also doesn't help when you see photos of yourself looking like a ZOMBIE WITH NO FACE!!!)

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

((Actually, that's not true. I like that photo a great deal, because it is a reflection of how I*feel* I look right now.))

― Two-Headed Zombie With No Face (kate), Monday, 1 November 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't have a club foot = I win

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

All of the Nicoles are either p0rn models or Australian film actresses. I guess they are all more attractive than me, but I am kind of glad I don't have that weird fake tan alien quality that the p0rn chiX0rs seem to have.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark P, how could you neglect the VERY FIRST Mark to come up:

http://www.6msoft.com/mark/mark_burnside.jpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

pink and kate are pretty otm - it's amazing how mood affects how i think i look. i mean objectively i'm no beauty queen but it could be a lot worse (see club foot remark upthread ;-) but inside my head my face just looks wrong. I think getting back to a more cheerful state of mind would help this.

Oh, and my google searches revealed:
http://www.rad.net.id/users/personal/l/lowry/chelsea.jpg
Which I don't exactly know how to react to--I mean I never looked that good when I was ten
and
http://www.hossli.com/celebrity/Images/Chelsea%20side.JPG
the inevitable C7inton daughter
and
http://www.cabrillo.edu/academics/athletics/w_soccer/2003%20Team%20Photos/Chelsea%20Rampone.jpg
Which does not make me feel *any better*. Evidently there is a law in the U.S. that to be a cheerleader you must be named Chelsea, because there are several pics like this.

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Jocelyn seems to be a very popular name in Hong Kong and China, and now I do feel ugly.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

OK my name got me 100 pix of Ally McBeal, 1 pic of a porn model with enormous fake breasts and a tie but I couldn't get the picture to open, and this.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

So google images brings up either ugly girls & gorgeous girls, hmm!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:A3BcFZHh1_YJ:www.opps02.com/gallery/sunday/Sarah.jpg

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

^^^That's not me byw, just a pic from google images that made me feel better, even if it has been messed with!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

He got your tits just right, Ally.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 1 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Mark, I commissioned it myself.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Ailsa, I tend to either not think about how I look or think I look pretty much okay, until I look into a mirror - or, worse, see a photograph of myself (photos are always, always worse). And then I'm... less happy. But, you know, it's not like it stops me functioning.

― cis (cis), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know why I have felt so ugly lately. It may be hormonal? But this morning I woke up with a nasty spot, and my hair looks so lackluster, and I have ugly clothes.. I would feel better if I could go exercise. That manages to always make me feel a LOT better.

― battlin' green eyeshades (Homosexual II), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to hug all the ugly-feeling people, and tell them how pretty they are. It's hard to do that over the internet.

XXXXXXXXXXX

― Cathy (Cathy), Monday, 1 November 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't actually know if they're pretty, though. their worries about being ugly might be well-founded.

― amateur!!st, Monday, 1 November 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh thanks amateur!!st, you little ray of sunshine.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

On a good day I think I could maybe have a cool metal guy profile.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

MIne brought some average looking women, a scar and this lady:

http://users.snowcrest.net/fox/loganfan/fans/susan.jpg

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, there seem to be many many Jims who are more ugly than me. Here's one. Here's another. And omgwtf!?

This guy looked like the best from the google thumbnails page, but even he's a bit funny looking, close up. And on the seecond page of results, things just get worse...

Ah, if only girls chose boys based on names first and looks second, I'd have no competition.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Though if they chose based on the ability to spell the word 'second' I'd be fucked.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Wouldn't you feel dreadful if one of your examples of ugliness wtfness turned out to be an ILXor?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I do.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 November 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I would feel most dreadful if that guy with his willy hanging out turns out to be an ILXor

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 1 November 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.angelfire.com/stars3/moonbeam_uk/Names/Ailsa.jpg

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 1 November 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

How the hell could I compete with this?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 1 November 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha I found a joint one for me and Ken! I think this is a positive result for both of us.

http://www.idyllmtn.com/people/liz/lizken.jpg

With my full first name I get the Queen a fair bit, which is kind of ego-boosting as she is, after all, a horsy old lady.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

To actually answer the question: yes, definitely. My self-image oscillates wildly from thinking I'm really quite attractive to having massive panic attacks while getting dressed to go out. It seems to be cyclical, so maybe hormones are involved, but I can normally catch myself when I start to feel really rubbish and fend off the screaming abdabs. I felt happy and pretty this past weekend while unpacking with Robster, but then looked in a mirror and saw the ginormous spots that had emerged because of the toxin-purging sweaty efforts of moving house. Crap. I no longer suffer from the paranoid (and rather wacky) fear of shiny skin that plagued me as a teenager, to the profit of pressed-powder manufacturers.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I seem to confuse "ugly" with "ignored". Sometimes, they're both the same thing. So, yes. I'm learning to get by, though, mostly by forgetting to care every now and then.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Tuesday, 2 November 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

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