Unneccessary Personal Attack

-- It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (masonicboo...), July 27th, 2005.

Rearrange the following into a well-known phrase:

"thyself," "heal," "physician."

2) Did you see your name in there, Marcello, or indeed, any explicit threat towards anyone?

3) Have you done anything lately to make you paranoid that you might have done something to earn drinks chucked over your head?

I've been avoiding you, and I will thank you to avoid me. That means no sniping, no provocation, and keeping my name out of your ghastly little political diatribes.

(This power may go to my head soon. Oh dear.)

I remain torn on the 'don't like it? don't read it' vs 'don't like it? complain!' issue generally. I suppose another question that occurs is 'if you're being verbally abused on one board e.g. Noise and you are unable to influence anyone there to change it, why try to influence anyone to change it when it occurs on another board e.g. ILE? Just because you have more chance of getting your way?

I think the tolerance of abuse of certain people on the Noise Board does force this issue to be explored more wrt ILE because the overlap of people who regularly read and post on both now seems quite big really. It feels problematic for there to be two boards so closely related and with such overlap where this sort of thing can and will often be moderated on one board but not the other.

It seems a bit like smoking and non-smoking sections of a public building. Most people seem happy enough with this (or they just have more important stuff to worry about), but the anti-smokers will still lobby for smoking to be completely banned everywhere for various reasons.

The admins have edited the noise board before. I felt it was kind of silly at the time, but the administrative interference in there has been EXTREMELY limited, so I suppose I owe the server admins a big THANK YOU. Even that boring cunt Noodles! Thanks guys.

However, ILE, I have much more of an attachment to, both as a virtual community and an IRL community. Maybe it's viewed as sentimental to have some kind of attachment or emotional involvement with a virtual community (probably my own fault for spending so much of my 10 or more hour working days keeping half an eye on it) - but whether I like it or not, it *IS* my community, as much as my colleagues or friends, and it affects me for good or bad in the same way.

It's not that I think I'll "get my way" or whatever. But insults and sniping on ILE are in my face, constantly, in a way that insults elsewhere are just not.

(And I don't give a shit any more about whether I feed the troll or not by saying this, but sometimes after M has had a particularly vicious or unprovoked attack on me, I *do* spend five minutes crying in the loo, the same as if someone had shouted at me in the pub. Boo hoo, yes, he hurt my feelings, I'm a crybaby. But because once upon a time, we used to be friends, he knows *exactly* where to aim in order to hurt.)

Anyway, believe it or not, I don't want to provoke this argument any longer, and I've been doing my best to avoid him, as I'm sick to the back teeth of how long this has been going on. But I don't like being misunderstood, by you especially, Stevem.

But in the future, I will just copy and paste it when needed.

And why not me especially?!

I have to agree with Jon's point re ILX admin policy, but at the same time Jon and Marcello's hounding is highly excessive and ugly. The thing is, they have both attacked/criticised/insulted (whether casually or aggressively) quite a number of different people on ILE over the YEARS (with the majority dealing with it time after time without requesting that the remarks be deleted, unless I'm mistaken), they are as much a part of ILE as anyone else - the situation will not change as long as all parties in question remain here and refuse to alter their attitude.

On one hand, perhaps yes, some of the posters who have been the focus of this hounding have "dealt with it". Maybe they're less sensitive than me, maybe they're not as generally outspoken as me, maybe they're more timid than me and not as willing to put themselves even more out there for more abuse (which I seem to attract every time I set foot on this board, no matter what the request.)

With Marcello, he's learned, time and time again, that he *can* get away with this behaviour. And that he *does* have a free pass, because he's learned to use personal tragedy as a stick to beat other people with.

I don't know. I don't have any suggestions, really. I'm venting my frustration and my anger, really. I've been trying to change both myself and my reactions - the anger management and stuff like that. But you never get any credit for the times you do control yourself. You only get stick for the times you don't. :-/

For example, Marcello genuinely seems to think he is meaning well when he says what he says. Perhaps in a more warped way Jon believes he does what he does for 'the good of the board(s)'! Even Calum felt that his behaviour was warranted on ILE, as it made the place 'more entertaining'. Of course many people disagreed with his p.o.v., but that doesn't necessarily make him wrong.

When Marcello sniped at me a lot a few weeks/months ago I didn't request that the remarks be deleted. I know there's more history between certain posters than with others but it's asking a lot for moderators to be more sensitive to that I think, especially when those posters just can't seem to do the most logical thing and take a proper break from the boards for a bit.

Of course another mod may well see this differently and fulfil the original request without hesitation - I just find this particular issue such a dense, grey area that I am reluctant to get sucked into a potential spiralling vortex of censorship requests, esp. as the remark in question isn't specifically personal (unlike ones that have been made in the past).

You know what? I haven't said boo against you until this moment Kate. But Jesus Christ, you blanket-insulted anybody who posts on the noize board. So, seriously, any 'higher-ground' credibility you may have claimed is totally shot. You are complicit in all the drama: don't tell yourself otherwise. You insult a whole fucking board (many of whom hadn't said crap about you) and you consider them 'bullying' in responding? Grow the hell up!

I think Jon still posts on ILE as much as he does on the Noize board. His posts are just more obvious without all of the surrounding glut.

But yeah, let's get back to Kate's very mature dinner party.

Hahaha, I only wish!

Oh, I mean ... HEY! WHAT'S WITH THE PERSONAL ATTACK, MANG? DELETE THIS THREAD!

-- It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (masonicboo...), July 27th, 2005.

Did it dawn on you for a second that my throwaway remark might have been a joke?

Anyway, as harsh as this sounds in the light of the former, the only thing I can say is this - FAPs are not run for your rehabilitation, Marcello. If you cannot take the rough and tumble of pub conversation - with all the arguments that the arguments of high emotion and drunkenness produce - then I would suggest that perhaps it is for the best for you to continue to avoid FAPs.

-- It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (masonicboo...), July 26th, 2005.

Substitute "ILx" and "Kate" for "FAPs" and "Marcello" and you'd be pretty OTM.

I would merely suggest that if Kate cannot take the ILx rough and tumble, then she is free to start her own message board where she can do what she likes without fear of anyone else coming in and disagreeing with her. Actually I'm thinking of doing that myself. It would be a lot less bother than this farrago.

Jon and Marcello's hounding is highly excessive and ugly

"Is"? I thought I'd made recent efforts to put that into the past tense.

There you are. I've actually been nice to ILxors recently. I've refrained from starting any attacks. I've basically been decent to everyone these past few weeks. What's the bloody point, eh?

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/newanswers.php?board=15

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

anyway, thinking everybody on the noize bored thinks alike is just as facile as thinking that everyone on ile or ilm thinks alike. i like kate! and i think jon's being a jerk to her, but whatever, what i think isn't gonna make either of them act like adults.