A new list to rip to shreds: Maxim's 30 Worst Albums of all Time.

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the inclusion of "Song Cycle" on that list means they at least got one right. what a fucken chore that record was to listen to. couldn't sell it quickly enough

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 July 2003 00:51 (twenty years ago) link

yeah and that beach boys record has (shudder) kokomo (shudder)

still it does have a lot of 'you put your peanut butter in my canon!!!!' sentiment throughout

― maura (maura), Thursday, 10 July 2003 00:53 (twenty years ago) link

aw you guys, taylor dayne wipes the floor with tiffany, debbie g, company b and even alisha
Yeah. Whatever happened to Taylor Dayne? She rocked my world.

Also, I've read that book that maura mentions ("Slipped Discs" by Jimmy Gutterman) and, yes, it is quite Rockist in spots (a version of
the 33 1/3 rules
of bad music making is in the intro chapter to the version thats in the local library) but the books complaint about Billy Joel is right on, and does a commendable job of defending its position on why Jimmy Gutterman dislikes the albums on the list above.
(A few complaints are specious, tho. And reading his shpiel on the Bee Gee's soundtrack to the Sgt Pepper Movie made me wanna find the record just to see if it's as horrible as I remember the movie being.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:00 (twenty years ago) link

still it does have a lot of 'you put your peanut butter in my canon!!!!' sentiment throughout
I blame Iggy Pop, he made such a mess with that family sized container of Jif.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:02 (twenty years ago) link

man, I've been looking for that book for ages. I found the sequel, the 50 Best albums of all time, at a library in Maryland but I've been dying to see that book again (I think I last saw it when it came out, middle school or something).

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:04 (twenty years ago) link

taylor dayne is touring this summer and has been making a lot of appearances at dance clubs & pride festivals.

i will go to the massapequa show totally if anyone wants to go!!

― maura (maura), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:05 (twenty years ago) link

(I like Conor Oberst.) ((I will never allow ILM the absolute hatred of Bright Eyes it strives for.))

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:16 (twenty years ago) link

was that apropos of anything?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:17 (twenty years ago) link

He likes Oberst, and he wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:28 (twenty years ago) link

dear bnw, i love you too, love conor

http://www.timmcmahan.com/images/lifted5.jpg

p.s. whine whine whine

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:29 (twenty years ago) link

He's just robert smith without makeup.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:35 (twenty years ago) link

Or talent. *flees*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 01:42 (twenty years ago) link

Or the build

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 10 July 2003 02:50 (twenty years ago) link

Maura's list is an absolute goldmine for Scoobyists.

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 10 July 2003 14:26 (twenty years ago) link

HAHAHA Milli Vanilli - _The Remix Album_!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 14:28 (twenty years ago) link

The power of Milli Vanilli was demonstrated in Coney Island recently.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 14:32 (twenty years ago) link

scoobyists?

― maura (maura), Thursday, 10 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link

Why the hell is Poison on there, this is just so wrong. I will never casually flick through Maxim in WHsmith's again!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:07 (twenty years ago) link

also, "blaze of glory" is a great album, one of the best £5 I've spent recently! And, it's not actually Bon Jovi album, but a Jon Bon Jovi solo album.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:11 (twenty years ago) link

Poison is on there because they are horrible.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:11 (twenty years ago) link

They are not more horrible than Bon Jovi, for a start.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:12 (twenty years ago) link

Ooooooh yes they are. Bon Jovi may be Lovecraftian in their horribleness, but Poison is noticeably worse.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:13 (twenty years ago) link

Dan: Whatever!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:14 (twenty years ago) link

I'll never get why people diss Poison and Bon Jovi, seiously, never.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:16 (twenty years ago) link

that should be seriously! (oh and don't take this seriously, as I'm only kidding about, y'all can not like them if you want. It's been a bad week)

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:16 (twenty years ago) link

Note to John Bongiovani and co.

"I'm cowboy...on a steel horse I ride..."
No yer not. You're a poodle haired spandex fetishist greasemonkey from jersey. You are NOT a cowboy. You are NOT an outlaw biker. And there is no warrant out to arrest you scrawny ass.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:18 (twenty years ago) link

If you'd gone to junior high with me, you'd understand. Poison is hesher-hell without the good tunes (the only thing that saves Bon Jovi).

Poison is also responsible for one of the ugliest album covers ever created:

http://heavyharmonies.com/cdcovers/P/POISON7.JPG

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:19 (twenty years ago) link

I mean, WTF?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:20 (twenty years ago) link

It's Gene Simmons older sister in the morning before she's had her morning cup of black coffee.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:20 (twenty years ago) link

When it comes to metal, I hold fast to one homily:
"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but
Poison and Venom will kill me."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:23 (twenty years ago) link

Poison is hesher-hell without the good tunes (the only thing that saves Bon Jovi).

Reverse the band names and we're set, but we've been over this before (I figure the deal is that Dan has this one genetic flaw that differs from mine).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:24 (twenty years ago) link

You honestly think there's a good tune in "Talk Dirty To Me" (aka "Please Kill Me With Guns")?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:26 (twenty years ago) link

Hell yes! But I do not wish to kill you with guns.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:31 (twenty years ago) link

You honestly think there's a good tune in "Talk Dirty To Me" (aka "Please Kill Me With Guns")?
Is /*that*/ where the crazy drunk guy got that "I kill you will guns, okay?"
crap from?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:33 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, it was a running meme on that first Poison album.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:35 (twenty years ago) link

One more reason to annihilate them and everything they stand for.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:38 (twenty years ago) link

>You honestly think there's a good tune in "Talk Dirty To Me"?<

Uh, it starts out with the same good tune as a Sex Pistols song, then ends with a good tune worthy of a Bay City Rollers song. And then there's CC's EXTREMELY tuneful dumbass guitar solo in the middle. So that makes at least THREE good tunes, just that I remember offhand.
And their first two albums had many other tunes where those came from.

― chuck, Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

custos: you want to kill fun?

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:43 (twenty years ago) link

Oops, I forgot the age-old nursery-rhyme tune in the middle of "Talk Dirty to Me," originally about sliding through your rainbarrel and down your cellar door or whatever (from "My Little Playmate, Come Out and Play With Me," or whatever.) So that's FOUR tunes, and counting.

― chuck, Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:46 (twenty years ago) link

Plus, the video! There really isn't anything not to love about this moment in Poison history.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:48 (twenty years ago) link

custos: you want to kill fun?
No, just give it a flesh wound.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 10 July 2003 17:48 (twenty years ago) link

he kills it with comedy stylings

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:03 (twenty years ago) link

There is a comical level of rage surging through my body as I think about people enjoying "Talk Dirty To Me". It's like I'm the little boy in "The Emperor's New Clothes" or something.

Hearing this song is what turned me off to top 40 radio from 1986 through 1990. It was like a crack team of mad scientists locked themselves in a lab with the sole intention of creating a song that would piss me off and make me hate humanity.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:05 (twenty years ago) link

those mad scientists were KISS, Dan

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:13 (twenty years ago) link

Do you hate "Cherry Pie" too, Dan?

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:18 (twenty years ago) link

DO I EVER

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

Dan, I feel your pain, even though I sort of like Poison's early stuff, you know, pre-that "Something to Believe In" shit

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:28 (twenty years ago) link

You mean before they sold out?

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:30 (twenty years ago) link

Real-Time Visceral Reactions: Poison - "Talk Dirty To Me"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:32 (twenty years ago) link

Whatever happened to Taylor Dayne?

Right after "Tell it to my heart" came out, I remember talking to a girl one night who wanted a career just like Taylor Dane's. In fact, she said "I want to be just like Taylor Dane." I wonder whatever happened to that girl?

Conor Oberst should tour with Taylor Dane. I'd go see him then. (Btw, what's with the Prisoner jacket he's wearing in that pic?)

― Paul Ess, Thursday, 10 July 2003 18:40 (twenty years ago) link

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