Rebuilding other teams! The 2016 Diamondbacks thread.

literally forgot goldschmidt was on it

they could sign trout to a 10 year deal and by year 10 I'd still have to take a minute to remember which uniform he wears

tell you what, any team with Brandon Webb anchoring its staff is doing something right

it's funny you say that because brandon webb has always been the only player i can recall being canonically a diamondback (i think i've mentioned this in the past)

other than luis gonzalez who doesn't count, those old unis had character

and chad tracy of course

lol i did a long ass post in 2014

the dbacks are the one team who i think just end up solely in my blind spot. the padres are sort of the same thing bc they're so quiet and usually unremarkable and tucked away. their team colors are literally camouflage. when i think of the history of the padres i think of tony gwynn and their 84 jerseys and uh heath bell. and luke gregorson. they had a really good bullpen for a while.

but the diamondbacks generally don't even exist in my head even when i'm looking right at them. just total cognitive dissonance. i've probably seen footage from chase field a million times but i have no recollection of it and i only just found out it has a retractable roof. i have no idea who plays for them at any given time. i probably know every starter on their roster but i can't actually make the mental connection to the team. if you asked me out of the blue to name someone i wouldn't be able to conjure up paul goldschmidt; if i ever think about paul goldschmidt out of the blue, it'd probably take a few minutes to actually remember the team he's on. as soon as i post this i will probably lose the connection between goldschmidt and the diamondbacks. i literally cannot think of a single other player from 2014 right now. as soon as justin upton went to the braves i completely lost the memory of justin upton as a diamondback, and it still seems weird to think about. whenever i'm reminded of 2001 it's really, really jarring -- both the win and schilling/johnson being on the team at all. how the hell did that happen? ok i just looked up RJ's career and i thought he only spent 1 or 2 years with them, not the entire best stretch of his career. i knew those seasons happened but in my memory they happened in a void. just randy johnson pitching like the best pitcher alive wearing an all-white uniform in the middle of endless space. i can remember the shot of a fan in 2001 with a "yankees = past/dback = future!" sign (lol) but i can't imagine anyone in arizona actually wearing diamondback merchandise. it wouldn't even make a difference if they were good. i'm pretty sure i didn't notice them in 2011 either.

i was thinking about this today after this thread got posted in and having the exact same thoughts

i remember that the diamondbacks are a team but at any given moment i can't name a single player
i am aware of the existence of most of the members of the diamondbacks but if i think about them i can't connect them to a team, i imagine them in generic white unis

i'm convinced this will continue until they go back to their 2001 colors

wait i skipped over the part where i talked about randy johnson in a generic white uniform, ack

okay my only canonical memories of the diamondbacks are brandon webb wearing the crappy new uni and gonzalez and tracy wearing the old ones

this team has absolutely no character and i can't even blame their terrible uniforms

here are some guys who had crazy seasons with the d-backs:

matt williams had a season where he went off for 35 hr and 142 rbi

jay bell hit 38 HR and scored 132 runs that same season.

and also that year, steve finley hit 34 HR (hit 35 another year for them.)

chad tracy hit 27 hr a decade ago, slugged .553 and hit .308. no idea.

matt reynolds hit 44 hr for them.

troy glaus had one season with them and hit 37 HR (i've completely forgotten about his entire career tbh.)

similarly reggie sanders had one season with them and hit 33 HR.

chris young had a good rookie year with them. 32 HR.

eric byrnes finished with a placement somewhere in the MVP voting because of one year he had with them.

tony clark in 3/4ths of a season with them: 30 HR, 87 RBI, .304/.366/.636

and one pitcher as a bonus:

Ian Kennedy won 21 games for them in 2011.

i associated many of these players' big seasons with other teams in all honesty.

that ian kennedy fact straight killed me

i do not remember him being a dback and i do not remember him having a good season

also a weird result of getting into baseball in 2005 is that i think of troy glaus exclusively as a blue jay

junior spivey (i remember the name, but this is the first thing i can tell you about him) finished 14th in the mvp voting in 2002 thanks to his all-around fine season.

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/the-best-offensive-player-in-baseball/

goldschmidt is such a unique, cool player

I think we can all agree that the 2017 Arizona Diamondbacks do not exist