"We've got bucketfuls of agents throwing players at us. We'll trawl through it." - The PL/CL/EL/world off-season transfer thread '17-'18

Our transfer action has been so headspinningly sexy in the last 48 hours, it is too much to process. Some Danish int keeper, Tom Ince, Steve Mounie, Mooy, Oliver Burke 4 times 10 mill players and these aren't fanciful rumours, but actually really happening as I type! Brighton fans getting jealous that we have stole their "progressive-club" cache and getting all the condescending attention they feel should be going their way. The chairman trolling bitter Leeds Utd fans with commercial department's The Yorkshire Club branding, which I used to think was nauseating as well tbh - but now it has become useful!

.. and the Derby fans are naturally inconsolable that we have nicked their most consistent and creative player, nice karmic fuck-you revenge for when they tapped up Butterfield 2 games into the season.

You are going to be a valuable addition to the EPL threads imo calz

We've frankly needed a bit of spice, "that type of poster"

I'm a self-confessed shit poster tbh. You probably need Nachk back more than a artless monosyllabic fule like me!

I was talking to a taxi driver t'other day and explaining I could have actually got a free carer's season ticket this season but declined because the full capacity noise of prem fixtures will be too much for the kid. You fucking idiot, you could have sold it to me! was his response. I've definitely missed a trick there!

OMFG NEVES IS GONNA HAPPEN

"i am not gonna stop grinning until August if this is true"

I am totally down with £10m+ spends on shit hot players and the feelgood factor it brings these days, NV. But have never experienced the horror of such a big money signing turning out totally dud yet!

anything's possible but the sheer unbelievability of nipping in ahead of the Prem teams and buying a lad this highly rated is worth a long honeymoon anyhow

Some on our lot seem to think cos we have signed a striker who scored only one less goal than Mbappe in Ligue 1 last season, then QED He deffo as good as Mbappe! We top 6!

it's nice when your board has the vision and guts to actually invest properly for the Prem. now you just need to offload Nakhi to some promotion-hungry Champo team *cough*

there is talk that Burnley want him as a replacement for when Gray (another of yours that got away) is sold. He is a really tidy player is Nakhi, but only has a year left on his contract and has not committed previously to remaining here, so his exit might be inevitable. I'd personally rather see him stay tbh.

Neves to Wolves is a Mascherano & Tevez to West Ham reboot.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻📞Welcome JT to Birmingham city...Aston Villa🌈!#UTV! @AVFCOfficial Announcement shortly!

— Dr. Tony Xia (@Dr_TonyXia) July 3, 2017

I offered my commiserations on t'other thread, Windsor. At least I'm assuming you aren't quite feeling those hand-clap emoticons today!

dear Santa please can we have Vincent Aboubakar and i promise not to ask for anything at christmas

and Willy Boly too apparently! i wholeheartedly endorse this bizarre turn of events

thanks calz. tooooooo many cretins on my fb feed talking about how this is gonna be just the spur we need to fire us towards promotion. i'm pretty much in it for the lolz at this point

25m for Micheal Keane to Everton... They're really spending all the money they haven't got from Lukaku's transfer yet aren't they?

Was gonna try and say something at least half thought through about a squad containing so many new signings and dealing with that prob not being Koeman's strength, but fortunately realized just in time stuff like that doesn't matter any more nowadays *ascii shrug*

Everton bought by Megabucks owners lately tho

Frankly quite chuffed to see them go for it and get plenty of decent not spectacular business done so early. The figures are the figures #shrug #2017

I'm fine with them going for it, no mistake, just don't think Koeman is good at making a cohesive team of it in a very short time. But then, that doesn't matter anymore. If he ends in sixth place: praise be. If he stinks: fired.

"I was lucky enough to play with some of the best players in the world and managed to win the odd trophy but the important thing now is that I’m very happy to be signing for Everton.”

I like Sandro already.

Also if Carragher thinks that Michael Keane wouldn't get in the current Liverpool XI then he's dumber than Klopp's hat.

“Playing against Chelsea just doesn’t sit right with me, to be honest,” said Terry.

“Whether that’s different in a year’s time, I don’t know. The raw emotion of leaving the club after so long there just didn’t sit right with me."

If Villa do go up this season, they might need to consult with the 37 yr old talisman who heroically carried them to promotion on his 60 grand a week knackered old jitters, if he has yet worked through his raw emotions and is ready to play against his old club:p

I feel a third round FA Cup clash is on the cards

https://epeak.info/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/steve-bruce-wooed-john-terry-by-text-heres-what-the-aston-villa-boss-wrote-750x430.jpg

"Steve Bruce wooed John Terry by text – here's what the Aston Villa boss wrote"

No! not clicking any further!

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/06/12/16/415DC9EC00000578-0-image-a-39_1497283105247.jpg

EBJT's hard nipples. Thanks Calzino :-(

It looks like Brucie is having problems with them as well!

The Sun say Everton are signing Rooney AND Giroud lol

Bruce is completely smitten, off into dreamland, mistakenly thinking this signing will lift the summation of his managerial career, his legacy, from dull so-so mediocrity to somewhat ok.
Meanwhile EBJT is like: "Is that where you want my wife and kids to sit on a Tuesday night against Stoke? For real? Needs some work, Steve, really needs some work." And hard nipples, sadly.

xp lol

Giroo

jesus, I thought Rooney to Everton was a joke rumour. More like Woeman, innit?

Bruce a mere patsy in Dr Tony Xia's latest supervillain scheme, which i would hope involves luring JT into the secret lab under Bodymoor Heath so that his brain can be transplanted into a healthier host. James Bree or something

I'm not sure who Rooney to Everton for free triggering Barkley to Spurs for north of £40m would work out worse for, tbh.

Lots of questions about Wayne Rooney back to Everton. Is he a better option than Arouna Kone & Enner Valencia? Definitely.

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) July 4, 2017

Lmao.

Just when I needed a pick me up

what the fuck is wrong with these people?

liability
lʌɪəˈbɪlɪti/Submit
noun
1.
the state of being legally responsible for something.
"once you contact the card protection scheme your liability for any loss ends"
synonyms: accountability, responsibility, legal responsibility, answerability; More
2.
a person or thing whose presence or behaviour is likely to put one at a disadvantage.
"she said the party had become a liability to green politics"
synonyms: hindrance, encumbrance, burden, handicap, nuisance, inconvenience; More

Tick

Tick

Thick as fuck

We've finally got the striker Mounie for 11.5 mill, probably about the most wowsome signing in our history. There were lots of rumours someone else had hijacked the deal, but it turns out the announcement was delayed because he was attending the Montpelier chairman's (Louis Nicollin) funeral. I seem remember a piece in WSC about the late chairman when Montpelier won ligue 1 about 10 years back. And he was a wealthy scrap merchant with rep for being a loudmouthed bigot, or maybe a "colourful character" for French people who like old bigots.

"I don't care about the other, these big teams, Huddersfield is a big team".

I like the cut of his jib already.

HTFC already looking like they'll bring value imo

I don't there is any danger of sanctions for not spending enough, because there are more to come!

*think

From what I've seen of Mounie, he will bring the aerial presence we have have completely lacked last season and much more.

say what you like about rooney, he definitely is white and english.

I've never had a doubt in my head at any stage in his United career that the only team Rooney would leave them for was Everton.

Well his contract kinda locked that down

Novel approach for Everton to chase someone else's bad money with their good tho

they get really pissy when you laugh about it

Stoke fan @DRK_Jacob asked Shawcross: "What was it like seeing Pulis headbutt James Beattie naked?"
To which, the official account responded "It was a spectacle."

The charming dressing room etiquette of the Real Football Man.

They are the Co-op of the prem. "our insipid ready-meals only use meat derivatives scraped off the floor of British knacker's yards".

I assume we're still using this thread as some sort of protest against the league starting on Friday night?

Gonna go with 'Thread of real players you don't have to Google - EPL 2017/18' unless anyone has any better ideas.

OMG.

‘I can just about remember Trevor Francis becoming the first £1m footballer in Britain in 1979. Even allowing for inflation over the last 38 years, Neymar is not worth 198 Trevor Francises, nor 100, nor a dozen. I’m not even sure he’s a better player, full stop.’

This is some real cometh the hour cometh the man shit from Robbie Savage here.

RS has done more to bring 606 down to the level of Talksport than anyone else imo. I'm not saying it was ever a great show in my lifetime. But I find it completely un-listenable since he has been on board.

An old friend of mine who had a fairly boring non-league career, once stayed at the RS mansion while he was having a Leicester trial. Even though he is a pretty diabolical person himself, he was pretty shocked at how arrogant and full of shit some of the young prem "stars" were.

"Neymar is not worth 198 Terry Francises"

Even allowing for inflation!

198 Terry Francises wouldn't be worth much on the pitch, you need 11 Terry Francises at most. Any more would result in an oversupply of Terry Francises, crashing the Terry Francis price overnight. This is basic economics.

aye you have to be careful with that genetic replication QE game.

I like how he says 'even allowing for inflation' and then immediately compares costs not allowing for inflation.

'Even allowing for inflation, this thread is not worth 198 Terry Francises' - Liverpool won't win the Premiership 2017-18