there's no such thing as a harmless LOL, there's no such thing as a gentle ROFL, there's no such thing as LMAO, who's got the EXCELSIOR?

haha, i don't understand. You mean because all the funny things are always said by ME and it's rude to quote myself? or you mean i hate all of you and never thought your jokes are funny?????!?!?!???

perplexed!!

-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005. (link)

what's wrong with Man United? Or is there a g-a-y association that's already taken that name?

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), May 12th, 2005 6:44 PM.

Mostly because I can't work out whether or not this is a joke.

-- The Ghost of Only A Short Step Away (djperr...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005. (link)

[...]

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NB Dan it's "Grey's Anatomy!" I find that really kind of hilarious, they've differentiated titles with a subtle spelling irregularity. (I assume there's also some character on it named Grey, making it a really lame triple / sexual pun?)

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005. (link)

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I wanna get
triple-sexual
witchoo
baby girl

I wanna get
dark chocolate
strawberry-cream
awwww

Double-boiled and
Triple-sexual
Not intellectual
Give it to me

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005. (link)

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Sorry, I'm bored.

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005. (link)

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It certainly looks dramatic.
-- Alex in NYC (vassife...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005 2:24 PM. (vassifer) (link)

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HPENCIL AND HONOUR THE FIRE ARE STILL ALIVE OMGWTF
-- Eisbär (llamasfu...) (webmail), May 12th, 2005 2:33 PM. (llamasfur) (link)

By which you mean he's never had anyone arrested or murdered, or made hundreds of millions at the expense of the Russian people?

-- Matt DC (runmd...), May 12th, 2005.

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I for one welcome our psychopathic billionaire overlords.
-- Markelby (boyincorduro...), May 12th, 2005.

The role of Mike Love is currently being played by Gerald McRaney.

-- Al Jardine (bucketsofbloo...), May 12th, 2005 9:06 PM. (later) (link)

An incredibly distasteful series of animated shorts wherein Ringo Starr and Paul MacCartneys sperm discuss the futility of life inside Brian Epsteins rectum.

-- On one hand I've got myself to blame (pau...), May 12th, 2005 1:24 AM. (later)

-- cavern (caver...), May 13th, 2005.

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Dickon Edwards to thread
-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), May 13th, 2005.

-- latebloomer: the rebel sound of grits and bacon (posercore24...), May 13th, 2005.

Perhaps you should put down the baby leg?

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), May 13th, 2005.

-- Sym Sym (shmuel...), May 12th, 2005.

He's very articulate, that's what I like most about him.

-- slightly more subdued (fluxion2...), May 12th, 2005 6:34 AM.

Yes yes, so well spoken

-- Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (Mod...), May 12th, 2005 2:43 PM.

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... that sounds like a review of "Je t'aime moi non plus" in some hippy mag circa 1969.
-- Dadaismus (dadaismu...) (webmail), May 13th, 2005 1:19 PM. (link)

http://www.rawjunk.com/files/1978645711.jpg

-- strng hlkngtn (for.this.bount...), May 12th, 2005.

back in 15

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), May 12th, 2005.

ihttp://www.flicklives.com/excelsior/cover.gif

-- teeny (teen...), May 13th, 2005.

what?

when she told me the next day i couldnt stop laughing.

-- battlingspacemonkey (sugarjunkie5...), May 13th, 2005.

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Sleep talking is one of the funniest things in the world. My bro once woke me up with
"CHARLIE!! CHARLIE!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!???"
Me: "What? What?"
"THE GOLD! THE BLOODY GOLD! IT'S WORTH MONEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

and then sleep.

-- dog latin (doglati...), May 13th, 2005. (tracklink)

-- A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (showroo...), May 14th, 2005.

Damn you win : (

Can we trade memories?

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), May 14th, 2005.

The amount of rolls was of Olive Garden magnitude.

-- A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (showroo...), May 14th, 2005.

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), October 4th, 2003 8:40 AM.

michael dont you think itd be kinda funny to have them come picket our RIP threads?

-- trife (...), October 4th, 2003 8:56 AM.

--------------

surely, every building is an architecture building.

-- cozen (skiplevel...), May 9th, 2005. (Cozen) (later)

-- moley (mol...), May 15th, 2005 8:39 AM. (later)

i am at work with an earache searching the web for other jobs.

-- mullygrubbr (fan...), May 15th, 2005 8:41 AM. (bulbs) (later)

I take your cv and read it slowly

-- moley (mol...), May 15th, 2005 8:45 AM. (later)

my cabaret voltaire?

-- mullygrubbr (fan...), May 15th, 2005 8:46 AM. (bulbs) (later)

uh..yes... lie back, lover. I want to ask you about your flexibility and commitment to team goals.

-- moley (mol...), May 15th, 2005 8:51 AM. (later)

-- mark s (mar...), May 12th, 2005.

do you have the number?

-- Pashmina (vietgrov...), May 12th, 2005.

i am going to make it up

-- mark s (mar...), May 12th, 2005.

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what do the first 14 kurtcobainrulzes think tho? or indeed rethink?
-- mark s (mar...), October 16th, 2001. (link)

-- Mark Jumblie (mheng3000 @ yahoo.com), May 16th, 2005. (later)

Shine
by Slowdive

Shine
Waaaah
Clouds of ocean
Drag you down
Shine

Waah
I heard this band
I saw you floating
they were called
Wahh

Shine
They were called the Jumblies
They weren't very good
I saw you floating
I don't like the Jumblies

-- nabisco (--...), May 16th, 2005. (later)

it's crazy! imagine the spaced out venn diagram.

-- N_RQ

Besides, it's odd to invoke Bataille in opposition to Hegel. Much of Bataille's work was a reworking of Hegel's darkly pompous mystagoguery. But even that complicity with the Absolute Enemy is not the most troubling aspect of Bataille's (non) project. It is precisely his resolutely non-perverse, Catholic notion of perversion that is the problem.

Before I elaborate on that claim, a brief note on Catholicism. The problem with Catholicism is not excessive guilt. On the contrary, Catholics should be more guilty... for the Spanish Inquisition... for Bishop Landa burning most of Mayan culture in an afternoon... for systematically exploiting the poorest and most disenfranchised of the earth over two millennia and for encouraging them to breed indiscriminately (no-one mention Liberation Theology, please: that's only positive to the degree that it is Marxist, i.e. anti-Catholic)... for what Bergmann correctly identifies as its necessary, not accidental relationship to child abuse... 'Bergmann, ..., claimed that "the only rational view of the Roman Catholic Church" was that it was "a monstrous blasphemy of transcendent evil: incomparably more corrupt than the Mafia (if indeed it can be separated from organised crime, which of course it cannot)". His views, he said, were backed up by "hard sociological data which even they can't suppress now" concerning the – apparently endemic – problem of institutionalised child abuse amongst Catholic clergy. But Bergmann alienated any of the few supporters he had even within Protestantism by adding that "any religion that is serious about worshipping the Father-God will always be about child abuse; the only difference between the religion of the Paulites and that of the Abrahamites is that, in the Paulites' case, child torture spills over into child murder. Despite tying and binding Isaac, the Jewish God ultimately spares Abraham's son; but the Paulite God actually kills his own son."'

So, yes Catholics should be more guilty... not in that ooo, it is awful (so I'll do it) sense... but coldly guilty... so guilty in fact that they cease to be Catholics and really repent of their sins.

Bataille is as much a part of the despicable Catholic psychology of guilt and transgression as any other victims of this evil cult (you think I'm exaggerating? Tell me an institution that has done more evil on the planet? Nazism only lasted 10 years or so, whereas Catholicism is a still-existing, still-abusing two-thousand year reich). Everyone knows (but some continue to celebrate) that the deep sickness of Catholicism is that guilt ethically legitimates and pyschologically predisposes its victim-abusers towards destruction of others and self-destruction. Zizek has drawn our attention to Paul's observation that law produces (the desire for) transgression. The critique of this move is so well rehearsed that it scarcely seems worthwhile repeating it here. But suffice it to say that more or less the whole of Foucault and everything that is innovative about Lacan, Deleuze-Guattari and Burroughs is specifically designed to reduce that aren't we naughty transgresso-pantomimery to the interiorised, oedi-policed mummery that it is. And, needless to say, Spinoza could not have been less transgressive, less interested in urinating over the head of a priest to show how Bad he was. (Look at me, punish me... gaahhhhhhhhhh!)

'The whole Courtly Love/ Glamasochism thing stinks of a project with an infinitely deferred goal: "the act itself is unimportant/ boring". No. Far from it. Only in the climax-orientated, semen-drenched male libidinal economy which Bataille, far from escaping, produces yet another, academically titillating version of, is it is possible to defer goals. Nothing is deferred in Courtly Love, there is an almost unbearable plenitude, so that a breath, a sigh and a caress are enough to make your whole body shiver with intensely distributed libidinal charge. Nothing is deferred; what is positively avoided is anything that will terminate the plateau. Surely it's uncontoversial to note that the whole of, for instance, the Body without Organs plateau in ATP is about, not deferral, but a model of diffuse eroticism which can include sex and even orgasm, but which is not terminated by them. Deleuze-Guattari rightly take great pains to say that sex and even male emission phenomena need not end the plateau.

What then is this 'Act' of which the Sadeans (John and Glueboot) insist on maintaining the primacy? Only a Sadean sexualist (or a LLAD) could make a distinction between The Act and eroticism; for the Masochist, the distinction is meaningless; all gestures, all gameplay, is as fully erotic as any rutting. And that's because, though they will deny it, the Sadeans continue to have a model that is BOTH semiotically overcoded AND biologisitic. Semiotically overcoded because it privileges certain behaviours and activities as key signifiers ('we're having sex now, this is REALLY it, not foreplay....' and, conversely, 'it's over now, I feel disgusted, let's do it again....' There is no 'doing it again' for a Masochist (when did it stop?) Incidentally, when sexualists say 'they had sex five times last night' what is 'sex'?) Biologistic because, for all the mystificatory vagueness about what the Act involves, it is pretty clear that is sex understood in an absolutely straightforward way. And as I said before, the fact that this moves beyond genital copulation to orgasm doesn't mean anything. As Nina rightly says, there is nothing natural, but nevertheless there are biotic defaults, and there is nothing more biologistic than poking bits of yourself into holes or rubbing bits of yourself until they are sick. Look at dogs -- they'll fuck anything, any surface, any animal, any orifice will do. Are they 'perverse'? On the contrary, in their agitational drive to relieve tension by any means necessary one can see the whole Schopenhauerian torture chamber that is organic biotics absolutely exposed for what it is. Insofar as there is nature, insofar as there is biology, it is Sadean-Bataillean. I expect John and Siobhan will deny that this is what they mean by sex, but I suspect, and I could of course be wrong, that their defintion of sex is no more positive than the Trad Christian definition of the soul, i.e. it will proceed by negation, 'it's not x, it's not y': what is it then?

It it is precisely this drive to relieve tension - inevitably producing tristresse and therefore the need to relieve tension again and therefore etc... - that is what Masochism evades in its construction of a cold rationalist nu-earth hypersensuality. Unlike the pleasure principle drive to have done with tension, Masochism is literally in-tense, in that it takes its enjoyment from modulating tension

-- Marcello Carlin (marcellocarli...), June 16th, 2005.

-- charltonlido (...), June 16th, 2005 1:05 AM. (gareth) (link)

i was in america, earlier, i heard some people listening to the pet shops boys

-- charltonlido (...), June 16th, 2005 1:07 AM. (gareth) (link)

when i say earlier, i mean yesterday. and it wasnt that fucknut adam either!

-- charltonlido (...), June 16th, 2005 1:08 AM. (gareth) (link)

are coldplay garbage?

-- charltonlido (...), June 16th, 2005 1:13 AM. (gareth) (link)

do you like my hat?

-- charltonlido (...), June 16th, 2005 1:14 AM. (gareth) (link)

I misread that as Courtney Love both times and I was WTFing all over the place.

-- Vichitravirya XI (x...), June 16th, 2005 1:21 AM. (link)

I'll only go to the west side of your balcony.

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), June 16th, 2005 1:23 AM. (walterkranz) (link)

---

OH NO A MOUSE WAS FED TO A TARANTULA THE HORROR THE PATHOS

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

(I look forward to the day when societal issues the negatively impact me are sufficiently small that I can care about non-issues like this.)

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

DAN IT WAS THE MOUSE THAT SANG "SOMEWHERE OUT THERE" NOW DON'T YOU FEEL CRUEL.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

OMG. If someone seriously fed Fieval to a big fucking spider I'm going to send that person all of my money.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

They should have scooped Fieval's eyes out with little Disney-insigna spoons first.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me
And eating my eyes tonight.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 15th, 2005. (later)

-- RJG (RJ...), June 16th, 2005

-- giboyeux (skowl...) (webmail), June 16th, 2005. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I opened this thread and just read the last post. I didn't know we had switched from talking about poo to talking about butter.

-- geyser muffler and a quarter (right.knewi...) (webmail), June 16th, 2005. (link)

-- donut e-goo (do...) (webmail), June 16th, 2005. (link)

-- Allyzay knows a little German (allyza...) (webmail), June 16th, 2005. (link)

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...) (webmail), June 16th, 2005 2:13 PM. (kenan) (later) (link)

I have to go to the shops soon. Guess which celebrity I'll bump into this time:

a. Dave Hughes
b. Gina Riley
c. Lano and/or Woodley

-- Crankypants (ada...), June 17th, 2005 1:53 PM. (Autumn Almanac) (later)

you didn't specify any celebrities

-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), June 17th, 2005 1:53 PM. (electricsound) (later)

Why apologise? Nobody else does

If picking your nose opens doors, I want what youre having.
-- Trayce, June 17th, 2005 2:00 PM.

This doesn't apply to any of you, but I HATE name-droppers. I know one, he's always boasting about knowing some omgfamous person, and he drops it into conversation so awkwardly.

"Mmm, these meatballs are nice"
"That's what Claudia Karvan had when we went out for dinner last night"
"Goodness is that the time?"
"That's a coincidence! I lived with Wil Anderson for three years, he used to look at the time"

-- Crankypants (ada...), June 17th, 2005 2:40 PM. (Autumn Almanac) (later)

-- Crankypants (ada...), June 17th, 2005.

"Scapelle Corby battered my barramundi."

-- estela (estelaisale...), June 17th, 2005.

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i wouldn't want to spend my last hours in a record store
-- shine headlights on me (electricsoun...), June 17th, 2005.

"The Pistons, having climbed back in this thing, find themselves in a peculiar position: they must win two out of the next three games!"

"The key for both teams will be scoring. I predict -- and you can quote me -- the team that scores the most points will win game five!"

-- Haikunym (zinogu...), June 17th, 2005. (Haikunym) (later)

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 18th, 2005 1:35 AM. (vassifer)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

hehe, i thought so, sometimes i read them and wonder if they were penned by you.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 18th, 2005 1:39 AM. (jaymc)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

i like the economy of them.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), June 18th, 2005 1:40 AM. (jaymc)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Discerning Upper East Siders know to honor the fire this Saturday evening..."

-- s1ocki (slytus...), June 18th, 2005 1:41 AM. (slutsky)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

COP SHOOT COP REUNION OMGWTF

-- Eisbär (llamasfu...), June 18th, 2005 1:49 AM. (llamasfur)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's that very "economy" that's making me want to root around in my inner ear with a phillips head screwdriver.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 18th, 2005 1:53 AM. (vassifer)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's the economy, stupid!

-- s1ocki (slytus...), June 18th, 2005 1:54 AM. (slutsky)

# why are you home on a friday night on ILX? (97 new answers)
# i'm fucking your husband (13 new answers)

-- j.lu (jlut...), June 18th, 2005 1:24 PM. (j.lu) (later) (link)

anyone know a decent record store in williamstown, mass? i'm dying.
-- rockaction (ts67...), June 17th, 2005.

from? i dunno if it's still there, but williamstown used to have the best record store i've ever been to.

-- Lagartija Curt1sss (curtis.stephen...), June 19th, 2005

-- el sabor de gene (yn...), June 18th, 2005. (yournullfame) (later)

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It really is the re-release season, isn't it (Gang of Four, Siouxsie, the Cure and soon....Killing Joke and...er....Manowar). Tipped off by our own sage-like Ned, I picked up the 'special edtion' re-release of Discover and -- as implausibly goofy as this band so irrefutably was -- I'm loving it. Along with the original ten tracks of silly, yelping Welsh goth shenanigans (see this thread to debate whether or not GLJ were credbily Goff or not: What was the first Goth record you liked? ), there comes a bonus disc of b-sides, extended versions, remixes and other ephemera. Yeah, I know what yer sayin': "Oh yeah, if there's one thing I really can't live without, it's obscure Gene Loves Jezebel alternate takes!" Well, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, HATER! Disc two contains easily the finest bit of tunage the Jezzies ever belched out, that being "Psycho 2" (not a reference to the abortive film of identical title, but a re-work of "Psychological Problems" from the earlier disc, Promise). A manic, screeching guitar sprint that encapsulates everything grand and glorious about mid-80's goff.

Live, they were terrible....like a transvestite Aerosmith cover band. But their singles -- for a brief window of time -- were great.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), May 24th, 2005. (tracklink)

Answers
Is it morally wrong to have gay sex with one's own brother?
-- The Sensational Sulk (jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj...), May 24th, 2005.

Lame asshole posted that.

-- Stoner Guy (dum...), June 18th, 2005 8:58 AM. (later)

they should share

-- anthony easton (anthonyeasto...), June 18th, 2005 9:03 AM. (later)

Hey guys! A lame asshole posted that!!

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), June 18th, 2005 9:05 AM. (later)

-- cutty (holle...), June 18th, 2005 4:59 PM.

'Guitars with politics bore me. I relate to music on the level of sex and death-sweat, blood, cum, sleepless nights and insecurity'

-- Acorn (squas...), June 19th, 2005 12:23 PM. (later)

Answers

Clay Aiken

-- hep (he...), June 19th, 2005 12:30 PM. (later)

-- David R. (quoteidio...), June 20th, 2005 4:36 AM. (popshots75`) (later)

*BANG!* *POW!* *PA-KOING!*

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 20th, 2005 12:46 PM. (Dan Perry) (later)

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oh you'd probably smell the hair burning.
-- teeny (teen...), June 20th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or my naked mole rat?
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), June 20th, 2005.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On your nose.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), June 19th, 2005.

-- nabisco (--...), June 20th, 2005. (later)